Nebraska

Father of the Bride - Help!

So I am not really very close with my father.  My parents have been divorced since I was 12 (long time ago!)  I am having my mother walk me down the isle and I am hoping to get away with no feelings hurt by saying "well mom wanted to walk one of us down the isle and you walked my sister".  That should work for that problem.

So I don't really want to do the whole father/daughter dance thing at all but I don't want to take away from my fiance dancing with his mother.  But if he dances with her won't that look odd that I don't dance with my father who will be there?  Can I ask them not to do the dance just to avoid my uncomfortableness?  Or should I just suck it up and dance with him for 1 song?

Also since he is not walking me down the isle, do I have him walk in with the other guests, should I have him walk in like when the mother would normally enter so there is a little more attention? 

Invitations - what do I do there?  I think either I have to put his name on there with my mothers or no parents at all.  I just don't really want him to have any special honor of our big day.  But then I feel selfish for saying that. 

I am sure I could come up with more what to do questions... but I will wrap it up now.  I guess its more than not being close.  He was not a nice man growing up to me and I barely have contact as an adult with him.  My younger sister just got married in Apirl of 2010 and he got to do all the father of the year stuff (and she probably looks at him like that) but I don't so I am just not sure what to do. 

Any advice is really appreciated!!

Re: Father of the Bride - Help!

  • Chasity08Chasity08 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In regards to the dance, no you should not ask your FI not to dance with his mother. Let them do their dance and don't have one with your father if you don't want to. I've been to tons of weddings where there was a father/daughter dance but not a mother/son dance, and vice versa.

    In regards to seating, I would say that if you would like a little more attention on your father, then have him come in would your mother normally would. That's personally what I would do, but it's all about what you are comfortable with.

    And for the invitations, I would just put something like "tmvanhouten and FI, along with their parents, invite you...blah blah blah" That way you are still honoring your parents, but you don't have to worry about names.

    Hope that helps! Good luck!
  • edited December 2011
    My parents are newly divorced, and it's ugly...however, it's my wedding, and in the end, it's what I want. I am having both of them walk me, both parents on the invitations, and I will be dancing with my dad, despite not being close to either one of them. My main reason is that, one day they will be gone, and I know that one day I will look back at my wedding day, and I would regret it if I didn't do those things, no matter how I felt about them that day. 
    "The best thing about loving and being hurt is that you get to know what true love really is. For as gold is tested in fire, and so will love be perfected in pain."
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