Non Traditional Father/Daughter dance?

NMac2010 · June 2010

Ok, so FI and I want to skip the spotlight dances besides the one between he and I. I have a stepfather, so I would have to dance with him, my real dad, and then FI with his mom. That would be 4 dances people would have to sit through...who wants to do that? I wouldn't want to.

So, I was thinking about later in the evening, mixed with the booty shakin music, I could have the DJ mix in a little Butterly Kisses or something and have all the daddies and daughters out on the floor. I figured that way, I could get a dance in with my dad, and not feel obligated to dance with my stepdad whom I'm not close with, and other people could be involved. I know lots of men who have small little girls who would enjoy that.

My question is, would that mean I would have to do the same later on for Mothers and Sons? I don't really WANT to, because FI has no desire to dance with his mother, but would it be weird/rude to have a "lets get all the daddies and daughters on the floor" and not do the same for mothers and sons?

TIA

bbyckes · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_non-traditional-fatherdaughter-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:d8ddca0e-e17e-4e2e-8201-caaffbc5c196Post:1a3ddaa6-d534-4a2c-a322-63c8efda1ccf">Non Traditional Father/Daughter dance?</a>:
[QUOTE] I could have the DJ mix in a little Butterly Kisses or something and have all the daddies and daughters out on the floor. I figured that way, I could get a dance in with my dad, and not feel obligated to dance with my stepdad whom I'm not close with, and other people could be involved. I know lots of men who have small little girls who would enjoy that. <strong>My question is, would that mean I would have to do the same later on for Mothers and Sons?</strong> I don't really WANT to, because FI has no desire to dance with his mother, but would it be weird/rude to have a "lets get all the daddies and daughters on the floor" and not do the same for mothers and sons? TIA
Posted by NMac2010[/QUOTE]

My initial gut reaction would be no, you don't have to have a reciprocal dance. However, you know your crowd, would his mother be offended? Maybe think about skipping those dances altogether, except for the first dance.

NMac2010 · June 2010

Well I want to dance with my dad to that song, it's our song. But I want to get other people involved on the dance floor too, that seems like a good way to do it. Plus, I don't want to dance with my stepdad.

I don't think FMIL would be offended. She can dance with him at any time during the reception. She isn't one who tends to like a lot of attention anyway.

vettechgirl · June 2010

I think that you, your FI, and your FMIL should sit down and talk. I like the idea of mixing things up and getting everyone invloved. But, since it IS a Mother/Son dance, I think the Mother and Son should have the final say. I think you have a right to voice your opinion, but if they really want the dance (or if the FMIL wants it) you should consider respecting their wishes in some way. Compromise is always key, though!

NMac2010 · June 2010

Vette-

I will for sure talk to FMIL about it. FI would rather not have that spotlight mother/son dance either so I know where he stands on it.

Sing2phins · June 2010

I'm not sure why you think you "have" to dance with your step-father, when you clearly don't want to. Would it cause a rift with your mom or something?

NMac2010 · June 2010

Sing-

Absolutely. Not to mention, it would hurt my stepdad's feelings. My mom is already pressuring me to have him walk me 1/2 way down the aisle and my dad the other 1/2. Which, I don't want to do. I am close to my real dad, always have been, and I wouldn't want anyone else but him walking me down the (whole) aisle on my wedding day. But, she says it will hurt stepdad's feelings because he thinks of me as a daughter, blablabla. I get that, I really do. And I love him a lot, but he's not my dad!

Sing2phins · June 2010

That's a tough spot, that's for sure. Sorry it's so complicated.

NMac2010 · June 2010

You know, that's life!

Talked to FI about it last night, he actually said he doesn't even think we need to talk to/ask FMIL about the dance, that he knows she won't care because she's not a "spotlight kinda girl". So, do you think I should go with what he says, since he knows his mom best, or still ask her?

cherbein · June 2010

One of my best friend's just got married and the parents on both sides had been divorced and then remarried. My friend's stepdad escorted her mother in to her seat at the beginning and her dad walked her down the aisle. She only did the father daughter dance with her biological father and her husband only did the mother son dance with his biological mom.

In the end, you got to do what makes you happy. This is your and your fiance's day. I think the group daddy daughter dance is really cute and wouldn't worry about the mother son dance if the FMIL doesn't care. At my cousins wedding when I was little she had a father daughter dance and then at the end invited all the dads and daughters to join them on the floor. It was really sweet.

NMac2010 · June 2010

Thanks Cher. Glad to know someone else has done something similar and it worked out well! Makes me feel better!

Non Traditional Father/Daughter dance?

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