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STD- how to invite signficant others (not married or engaged)

dianab0237dianab0237 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Hawaii
I will be sending my STD's in the next few weeks (1 year in advance) and want to invite signficant others of my guests. There are a few girls who currently have boyfriends and I would like them to bring them, however because it's so far away, it may be inappropriate to address the envelopes as Jane + John, vs. Jane + Guest. However, because I don't want the "+ guest" to be open to just anyone, especially if its someone we don't know as it is going to be a fairly intimate wedding I'd rather use both names and hope they are still together by next year.

Would you feel weird if you recieved an invite with your name and your bf's name vs. your name + guest?
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Re: STD- how to invite signficant others (not married or engaged)

  • Tanq&TonicTanq&Tonic
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Nope, I prefer both names. 

    Guestfirst Guestlast
    SigOtherFirst SigOtherLast
    Address

    If you add the "and" then it supposedly signifies marriage.
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  • leejj3leejj3
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I didn't know the "and" signifies marriage. If we were friends with both parties, we invited them separately. If we were only friends with one because of the other we still recognized that they were both invited by stating their names on the stds. Mr. blah blah and Ms. blah blah. If we didn't even really know the significant other, we had no qualms saying "and guest". If they wanted to bring this one or the next one, we weren't particularly picky although ours is not so intimate with 100+ guests.
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    Ben & Jenn Nov 27, 2010 Oahu
    Planning Bio
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  • kaeshakaesha
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I'm all for dumping archaic etiquette - let's be honest, half of the complaints brides have about guests relate to the guests' lack of knowledge of invitation wording!

    Include the names of their significant others. If they break up, they break up. You're not required to send a real invite to a friend's ex just because you included them on an STD. That would just be silly!

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    Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
    Dates & Quinces Blog
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  • AKWinterBrideAKWinterBride member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    When I sent mine out (also a year in advance - yay us!), my MOH has a boyfriend that I know she is planning to bring so I wrote the STD out to her and her BF.  I would have felt rude putting '& Guest' since I know his name and know that he is planning to attend.  If they break up over the next 9 months, my MOH will understand, it's really just a label - people shouldn't have problems with it and if they do, oh well! 
    I am with Kaesha - these weddings are OURS, we don't have to follow some guidebook.  Do what works for you!
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  • carrieoz_76carrieoz_76 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If it's someone known (and not just a random +1), then you should put both names on the STD/invitation.
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    My Bio
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  • jackcodyjackcody
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yup, put their name on the STD.  Etiquette is to separate the names of a couple by putting one on each line if they're not married--don't use 'and.'  

    We invited FI's friend and his *then* girlfriend on the STD.  Later they broke up, and we sent the invite just to FI's friend.  I don't think it's an issue.  

    It may be a bit awkward now, as they're back together and he only book a ticket for himself, etc. But I'm not going to add their off and on again drama to my list of things to worry about :)
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    Brittana & Glenn ~ 12.12.2010 ~ Sugarman Estate

    Planning Bio I Our Wedding Website I WIX Announcement Website

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  • jaymers99jaymers99
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    "Proper" ettiquette says that if they live separately, they should each get their own invite.  If they live together but are not married, then they can go on the same invite with their names on separate lines (I have read varying rules on who's name goes first -- female, alphabetical, or who you know better).  If they are married, you use the "and" on the same line.

    But...like others have said, "proper" ettiquette is often archaeic and many guests aren't even aware of proper ettiquette anyway.  I would use SO's name if you know it...if things change before your wedding, you can deal with it then.
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