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Sticky invite situation: What would you do?

So my grandpa's wife threw me an amazing shower last weekend (it was catered with servers and all!!) but she decided to invite some family that we aren't inviting to the wedding and wrote on the invite that "due to Jess having a small wedding, an invite to this shower doesn't mean an invite to the wedding" and I know that is tacky but I was okay with it (couldn't do anything about it). And my wedding isn't small, we invited 250.

So we get to the shower and there were 5 elderly ladies, 4 of which I have never met and 1 I had met once before. I don't even know their names! Well I chatted with them and it was nice that they came. Well at the end of the shower they were like "see you at the wedding" Umm.....what do I do? I wasn't planning on inviting them and now I feel bad and obligated to.

What would you do?

Oh and the 5 ladies are great great aunts and such (related to me).
Trying to Conceive Ticker "All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, As long as I'm laughing with you" Planning Bio image
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Re: Sticky invite situation: What would you do?

  • kkaew816kkaew816 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would talk to your grandpa's wife and see if they can talk to them, since you don't even know them there's no way you could even contact them! Don't feel obligated to invite them.
  • amberh0515amberh0515 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Did you know that they were going to be at the shower?

    If not, I wouldn't feel obligated to invite them.
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PP. Since you don't know them, it would be hard to contact them. 
    Just make sure you send them all a nice thank you card, or at least write one and have your Grandpa's wife send it since she probably has their contact info. I'd say something like "Thank you so much for coming to my shower. It was lovely meeting you. Thanks for the present (if they got you one). We'll be sure to send you a photo of the wedding" Or something along those lines. 

    We had a similar issue because the aunt who is hosting my shower assumed all of her cousins were invited and was telling them all the wedding info, but they aren't, so it got kind of awkward. My dad and I discussed inviting them, but since I only knew like 2 of them and not very well, we decided not to invite any of them. I'm sure your great great aunts will understand that you can't invite every single family member ever.
  • hkieslinghkiesling member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't know.  I don't think I would call any special attention to the fact that they won't be invited to the wedding.  Just thank them for the gift.  

    My aunt threw us a shower and also invited a ton of relatives not invited to the wedding (mostly elderly family who wouldn't travel out of state anyway).  She said something similiar in the invite about a small wedding.  No one said anything about being hurt over not being invited. 
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I'd do it as a B-list if you can since they are relation...  I know, probably not what you wanted to hear, but if you get some "no" RSVP's back, why not...  Either way, it's up to you.. 
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with MesmrEwe. Think of it as a good deed - for some of your great-aunts, being invited to your wedding might be the highlight of their year. Seriously! :) I'd B-list them - it's a nice thing to do, plus it adds good vibes to your reputation with the older generations of your family.
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  • edited December 2011
    How does a B list work? We are at 6 weeks to the wedding, how close can you send a wedding invite? Our RSVP date is May 13th. I guess we could make new RSVP cards but they would be on different kind of paper since we used up all the other ones.
    Trying to Conceive Ticker "All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, As long as I'm laughing with you" Planning Bio image
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_sticky-invite-situation-would?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:e5a1f5e8-ebf7-4491-b8bd-b0123091c1a9Post:086f0900-6f68-4741-9bfb-9d2f0fa4c2b9">Re: Sticky invite situation: What would you do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]How does a B list work? We are at 6 weeks to the wedding, how close can you send a wedding invite? Our RSVP date is May 13th. I guess we could make new RSVP cards but they would be on different kind of paper since we used up all the other ones.
    Posted by veijes[/QUOTE]

    <div>I have a B list, and I'll have the same RSVP date at the A list - basically I'm just planning on sending out the B list invites as I get "no" RSVPs from the A list. Obviously in the case of the great aunts, you'd need to have 5 or however many "no" RSVPs so that you can send them all invites...</div><div>
    </div><div>FWIW, our B list is small. Just the friends of my FMIL that we don't really know but have kept on the list as a gesture of goodwill. (Um, that sounds snotty! Oops.)</div>
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  • enaylonenaylon member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If they are that old they must be getting pretty little and they probably wont eat much. If you werent planning on inviting them they most likely wont know that they missed the wedding. If you ever see them again you can always say, "Thank you so much for coming! It was great to see you!" Who knows, maybe it will work!
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