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Invite etiquette

ashnmark08ashnmark08
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in Canada

I just have a couple of questions on invite etiquette. It's not so much for the wedding as it is for the batchlorette.

I have been invited to 2 different batchlorette's where was I was not invited to the wedding. Here are my questions in regards to this:

`Do you ever invite people to the batchlorette that you dont invite to the wedding?
`Should I invite these girls to my batchlorette, I dont plan on inviting them to the wedding.

Also, I was talking to a friend and we were talking about how they asked for money instead of gifts for her wedding. I asked her how on earth she did that and she told me that you just write "Presentation Only" on the invitation.

Now, I have been to a wedding where they wrote on the invite to give money, not gifts, and honestly that is the only thing I remeber about the wedding is that we gave them cash because that's what the invite said. It's cruddy that it's all I remember, but i do because the wedding was in the legion hall and the food was scarce and not very good. I felt awkward shelling out a couple hundred dollars for them when I know they didnt even spend an quarter of that on my being there.


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Re: Invite etiquette

  • lalap69lalap69 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It sounds like you know a lot of people who either don't know or don't care about etiquette and they behaved very rudely. 

    No, you shouldn't be inviting people to pre-wedding parties who aren't invited to the wedding itself.  So I wouldn't invite the girls to your bachelorette if you're not planning on inviting them to your wedding.

    And requesting money is rude, rude, rude, as it seems you're aware by how you took it when you received that request.  There shouldn't be any mention of the gifts on the invitation at all, nor should registry cards be included with the invite.  If a couple prefers money, they should let that spread by word of mouth.

    It sounds like you do know what's right.  I hope you'll stick to that and not follow the cruddy example that others have set.
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  • ashnmark08ashnmark08
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would never ask for anything giftwise, especially on an invite. When my friend told me that, my direct reaction was "Isn't that considered tacky?" and she said no.. hahah.. then I said "Well i guess you dont see it as tacky becuase you did it"

    I find it weird that i was invited to those batchlorettes in the 1st place,i wasnt very good friends with the girls. and I wasnt expecting an invite to the weddings, but am now wondering if i am required to have them invite my my batchlorette. I wont though, it's just weird.

    I am all about not being rude. I am not the type to invite people to only the reception, asking for certain types of gifts or get all bridezilla on people.

    I was curious to see other's opinions.
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  • Sunny0710Sunny0710 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ashnmark,

    I think that only people who are invited to the wedding should be invited to pre-wedding parties. Otherwise, it's like saying that they are good enough to show up with a gift for you but not important enough to warrant an invite and you spending money on their meals.

    The only exception (that I have heard of anyway), is if one of your co-workers happens to throw you a work shower.

    Yes, asking for any type of gift is rude, and gifts should not be mentioned AT ALL on the invites. I cannot believe that was written on the invite you recieved!!

    Hope that helps :)
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  • lalap69lalap69 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I like you, Ash :)
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  • LittlinLittlin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ugh - never write anything about gifts on the invite - that is VERY tacky asking for money instead of gifts.

    I've been to a bachelorette where I wasn't invited to the wedding, but that wedding was very small and intimate, and she was a friend of a friend who just liked to have a fun night out.  I didn't have to pay for anything I normally wouldn't on a Saturday night out, so it was fine.  Personally, I'm not inviting anyone to my bach. that isn't invited to the wedding, but I know some people do it.  

    As PP said, if coworkers or family friends throw you a shower or party, its one thing, but things that you host should be considerate of those coming to the wedding.
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