Big extended family....want small wedding...

MrsMollyPoole · October 2010

My Fiance and I are set on a small wedding of no more than 50 guests. I have a relatively small family with only 6 aunts and uncles and 7 cousins. Now on the other hand...his family...only 1 first cousin but a ton of close great aunts and uncles and 2nd and 3rd cousins. What is the bast way to go about keeping our small wedding without offending anyone? We don't want feelings to be hurt...but don't want, can't afford, a large wedding.

Thanks!

[Deleted User] · October 2010

If you can only invite 50 people, then you will have to pick and choose who to invite. It may not be easy, but that is just the way it will have to be. You could just have the wedding with the immediate family and the reception for the 50 guests.

tldh · October 2010

Set a line. You said aunts and uncles on your side and included great aunts and uncles on his. Here is how we set them. Invite parents and siblings (and their spouses and kids). Next circle, your and FI's closest friends. Next circle, aunts and uncles and first cousins. Next circle great aunts and uncles. Next circle, your and FI's acquaintances and business associates. Next circle friends and business associates of parents. Adjust the circles to what you feel comfortable with.

We invited immediate family and friends only. If we had gone to the circle with aunts, uncles and cousins, our wedding would have gone from 30 guests to a 180 My Big Fat Greek Wedding. If you don't want to do it this way, you'll have to pick and choose like MissySue said and that might not be pretty,

jemmini6 · October 2010

I have a pretty large family (dad is one of 9, mom is one of 7), so for my side, we limited it to aunts/uncles only, no first cousins (I have over 40 first cousins). FI's family is a little smaller, so he is inviting aunts/uncles and first cousins. I think if you make that line, you have to stick with it. So for me, I can't pick and choose certain cousins to invite and leave out others (one is invited, but she is part of the wedding party). Just decide where you want to draw that line and that way when you explain it to the people that didn't get invited, you can say, "as much as we'd love to have you all there, we just couldn't afford to so we had to limit it to ______". That way they understand it's not them in particular that's being left out...

ewurgler · October 2010

I am in the same boat, and also did aunts and uncles but no first cousins. People will understand. When deciding who to invite, I just think "will I be upset not having them there?" It helps you prioritize and not get forced into a guest list you don't like.

kristenrmu22 · November 2010

We are doing parents, siblings, and aunts and uncles..since I had a tad of wiggle room on my side I invented a few grand friends...We are having a dinner only reception in a stunning location and then throwing a big bbq (wedding celebration) the next day. For those that would like to partake in some celebrations but aren't into taking a day of the weekend for a wedding i.e. friends, cousins, out of towners coming to ceremony... Don't hate me but some ppl just don't get pumped to go to a wedding...those ppl are my friends, I love weddings they don't so to have the best of both worlds that is what we are doing. Crazy I know but I love it!

MrsMollyPoole · November 2010

Thanks for all of the help! I think we have the list down to 70 now....almost there!! we have while to make things work.

Big extended family....want small wedding...

Re: Big extended family....want small wedding...

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