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Getting married in a church that isn't your denomination?

ally117ally117 member
First Comment
in Christian Weddings
Hello all,
I have attended the same church my entire life, but I'm not sure about getting married there.  It doesn't necessarily matter to me whether I marry there or not. (it still costs money)  Also, my reception site would be nearly 40 minutes away if I did choose to marry at my church. (which is a little too long of a drive)  How would you feel about marrying in a church of a different denomination if it were closer to your reception venue?  I'll admit, the decor of my church is also keeping me from wanting to marry there.  (My sister was married in it, and the burnt orange pews and hunter green carpet did not look that great in the pictures...)  My mom thinks it would be odd to marry in another church of a different denomination.  Your thoughts?  (btw, I attend an Assemblies of God church, but I know that some Methodists churches allow you to marry there for a fee)
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Re: Getting married in a church that isn't your denomination?

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    FutureMrsRyanFutureMrsRyan
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i dont think that is very weird.  i mean, if its closer to the reception site and more your "style" then why not?

    i'd just be concerned that they would not let you bring your own pastor.
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    wheatney22wheatney22
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    edited December 2011
    My concern would be the officiant. Some pastors will not marry you in a church denomination they are not affiliated with. So check with whatever church you choose AND the pastor/officiant.

    I won't be getting married in the Church I attend regularly in MD but will be getting married in the Church I grew up in while in MA. So it really works out well since the officiant used to be my pastor.
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    sweetpea0911sweetpea0911 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not getting married in a church of my denomination, but we are getting married in a church of J's denomination.  They are letting us bring my pastor in, but that could be because it is J's home church.  I don't think it's weird, especially if it's closer to the reception hall, BUT make sure that they will work with you.

    J's church is letting us use my ceremony format (which is different) and my pastor.  We checked all of this up front, so I would suggest you do the same.  Also, is your FI the same denomination as you?  If not, maybe you can find a church of his denomination that would allow you to marry there (which was our plan if J's church wouldn't let us bring in my pastor).

    Good luck!

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    fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    We had a similar issue in that I really wanted a center aisle, but the church I grew up in and am a member of does not have one.  So, our wedding planner called almost every church in Roanoke and found 6 that had a center aisle, would hold 300 people, would allow us to bring our own pastor, and allowed non-members to get married there.  It wasn't just if we were Baptist or not...most churches we talked to required you to be a memeber of their specific congregation to have a wedding there.  That was a tad frustrating, because it threw many of my "top choices" out the window.  We ended up choosing another Baptist church, but there were several non-baptist churches that would have been just fine.  Some things to consider is that, sometimes, a more conservative church will only allow certain types of music, may have a dress code for brides and members of the bridal party, (no strapless, must have shoulders covered, etc) and if you want to use their fellowship hall for a reception, they may have rules against dancing.  These are just some of the things we ran into.  Hope you can find something that works for everyone!!
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    iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Is there an AG church nearer to your reception venue?  If not, maybe you could approach your pastor/officiant to see if he/she would have recommendations of churches that are closer to the reception venue.  I agree with pps that the biggest sticking point will be that some churches won't let just anyone officiate a wedding at their church.  GL!
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    felkelsfelkels member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Check with everything everyone above said, but I totally don't think it is strange...
    And I totally understand the asthetics thing!  I am actually getting married @ a college campus, in their chapel, which is litereally up the streetlike 20 (maybe 3-5 minutes) blocks from my church.  My church as bright red carpet that looks horrible in pictures, and no center aisle...the center aisle was the most important thing for me.  We considered many different churches, but with my FI's alumni discount this was by far the most beautiful.  We feel bad that we cannot invite most of our church family because the venue is so much smaller than our church...but we are going to have an after party when we can include our entire church and let them celebrate with us. 

    Good luck with everything.  Don't feel to bad about not gettting married in your own church...it is okay. 

    In portland, most church don't have a problem with bringing in own pastor and not being part of their denomination...it is kind of sad, but the old beautiful historic churches in the area actually know they are old, beatiful and promote their buildings for weddings...they have wedding links on their websites and everything.  And some beautiful old chapels no longer even have congregations in them...they have been closed down as a church and run only as wedding chapels now!  Anyway, I babbled on for way to long.  Good luck with everything!
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    ally117ally117 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you for your opinions and suggestions!  I hadn't even thought about some churches having a dress code... I really appreciate your advice, and I'll be sure to check on all of those things before confirming a place as a ceremony site.
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    mrb5000mrb5000
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm in a similar situation - our church is super unattractive (it looks more like a conference room than a sanctuary) and we wanted to get married in a more traditional looking church.  We're actually getting married at my grandmother's church - a presbyterian church downtown - and they're not charging us the non-member fee because my grandmother has been a member there for 50 years.  They also require that if you're not a member, you have to bring in your own officiant, so we're still getting married by one of our pastors.  Anyway, if you have any kind of connections to a church closer to your reception site (maybe a family member or close friend?), you could start with those.  I think it's better to have an "in" than just calling up a random church.
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    felkelsfelkels member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I tried calling random churches and none of them got back to me!
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