Wedding Party

Who should i include?

I have a bit of a dilemma. Both of my brothers had very large wedding parties and I always kind of imagined having a fairly small wedding party, maybe even just a MOH and Best man. As I have been thinking about this more though, I am not as sure. My 15-year-old boy cousin has lived with my family for the past 3 years and became like a brother to me (I actually feel closer to him than my actual brothers). Both of my brothers’ wives asked me to be a BM so I feel like I should ask them (I think it would also do a lot of good for my relationship with one of my sister-in-laws who has not been as involved with our family). If I ask them, I think it would be good to ask my fiancé to ask my brothers as well.

 

If I ask him to do that, I feel like I should ask some of his female friends. He does not have any sisters but there are three girls who he was friends with in college who he calls his sisters. I have never met them and they live in Ohio. We hope to make our lives in Washington so I probably will never get to know them. He was an usher in one of the “sister’s” weddings but nothing else. I have a friend from elementary/middle/high school who I was best friends with as well as my roommate for the past 2 years who I will not be asking because I want the smaller wedding party.

 

My fiancé has a brother and sister-in-law but until we got engaged, they hadn’t talked in years and his brother had major issues with him so my fiancé is ok with not having him (he also lives in OH). 4 of his cousins live in the area and I know them very well and would be happy to have them in the wedding party (more so than the “sisters”).

 

I know this is my wedding but it is also my fiancé’s wedding and I want to keep him in mind. I also don’t want to regret not asking someone. What should I do?

Re: Who should i include?

  • First of all, sides should be about relationships, not about your anatomy.  If you want your cousin or your brothers or anyone else, ask them to stand up for you, don't have your FI ask them to stand on his side.  If he wants his female friends, he should ask them to stand for him.  And so on.  It shouldn't need to be a negotiation between you.  You choose the people you want, he chooses the people he wants.

    It's also not tit-for-tat.  Don't hinge the decision on whether you were or weren't in someone else's wedding.  You don't have to ask someone who asked you, and you shouldn't choose not to ask someone just because they didn't.

    You're still a little on the early side to be worrying about this, so I'd put it off until the end of the summer and then reassess, see if your feelings (or plans) have changed.  Then ask yourself: If I had to hide a body at 3am, who would I call?  That's your WP.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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