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February 2012 Weddings
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My weddings in 11 days...heres my problem.

brandonsbestgirl1brandonsbestgirl1 member
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in February 2012 Weddings

we are on a very tight budget...lots of friends and family have helped us make this wedding happen....we could not afford to do a reception....so we had decided that we would just have cake and punch at our wedding ceremony it starts at three in the afternoon so we figured this would be ok...THEN after the wedding we were going out to eat...we cant afford to pay for anyone but ourselves so we figured we would call it an after party...and who ever wanted to come could...the resturant offered us the top floor with a dance floor and a DJ and a bar very generous we are very blessed...but my problem is now that they have offered all of this to us my groom wants to call that our reception and have our wedding cake there instead of at the ceremony i feel like this is rude because we are not paying for any of our guests to eat and some may not be able to afford it thats why we made it optional in the first place.So if  thats the case than anyone that cannot afford it doesnt get to come to our reception and have wedding cake....idk am i wrong? should it still be called an after party and should we still have cake at the ceremony....I just dont want to be rude to our guests....me and my groom just got into a big argument about it....

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Re: My weddings in 11 days...heres my problem.

  • lnl1025lnl1025
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    is the restaurant just giving you the alcohol? I guess I'm a little confused as to what all is included in the space you'll be using.If its a bar including alcohol for all your guests, then you could call it a cocktail reception  and set it for a later time ( after normal dinner hours?) You could serve your cake there and pass the word that its not a dinner reception. People could leave and go eat their dinners wherever, and then come back for an "after party/cocktail reception"

    You can't argue with the universe..Well, you can, it just doesn't get you anywhere.

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  • brandonsbestgirl1brandonsbestgirl1 member
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    no the bar is just there for people if they want a drink...sorry im feeling alittle bit unfocused today and i know that post must confuse people...me my FI and about 30 others will be going out to eat at a resturant they included all of that stuff on the primise that people would come and eat there....but now my FI wants to have our wedding cake there and call it our reception...there are some who cant afford to go out to eat and i just thought it rude to say this our reception but by the way you have to pay for yourself and if you cant im sorry..
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  • ShakeUpTampaShakeUpTampa member
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    You are right and FI is wrong. You are supposed to host a reception even if it is just cake and punch to thank your guests for coming on your day. A reception is for the GUESTS not the bride and groom.
    Nichole Tampa, FL BabyFetus Ticker
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  • lnl1025lnl1025
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    technically you dont HAVE to host a reception.But it would be rude to tell everyone hey come to this restaurant, oh btw we cant afford to pay for your dinner or even a drinks so you're on your own. I know the knot is very adamant about cash bars for receptions, however my fiance and I have been to A LOT of weddings that had cash bars. Yes, it sucked, but people were still drinking and paying for it. I would definitly say have your small little 30 person dinner, at the restaurant and not call it a "reception". It would be embarassing if everyone showed up to eat thinking they were being fed a meal and then had to yank out their wallets. You could maybe say, this is where the bride and groom will be having dinner. Feel free to stop by if you're able. If it were me, I'd serve my cake and punch reception and then do my small dinner with family afterward. I think people lose sight of why theyre going to a wedding. It's to see a couple they love get married, not free food, free cake, or free drinks.
    You can't argue with the universe..Well, you can, it just doesn't get you anywhere.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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    we are doing almost the same thing. Except we are paying for our guests dinner, wine and champagne. Any other drinks are a cash bar. We will not have a DJ however we are going to the bar that we own after the dinner and speaches and our 30 guests will drink free. However we have a lot of friends who want to come and celebrate with us so they will join us later at the bar to dance. I agree that punch and cake should be after the ceremony.
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  • brandonsbestgirl1brandonsbestgirl1 member
    First Comment
    yeah thats what i thought thats why what we said on our programs that we were going out to eat to continue our celebration anyone is welcome to attend if they would like to....I knew i was right lol! thanks for the back up ladies!
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