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Shower Stress

FruitSnack84FruitSnack84
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in June 2013 Weddings
I need help! I feel like FI's family is trying to ruin all of my wedding events :(

My family lives in the Chicago suburbs and my *real* shower is being held up there by my aunts and has been planned for months. My aunt sent out the invites last weekend and the shower is April 27th. All the ladies of FI's family are invited and will be receiving their invites anyday now. I've told the relatives I'm closest to about it and they said they'll definitely go :) it's about a 3.5 hour drive, but they like going to the city for the weekend.

Now today I got a text from FI's aunt saying that she's going to host a bridal luncheon down here the next weekend right after my real shower, and that she's sending out the invites today to all if FI's family! (And probably some family friends I don't even know, FML.)

I feel like everyone is going to choose this new shower over my real shower :( I don't like most of his relatives (they are gossipy and make racist comments around me) so I was hoping they would come to the real shower so that I wouldn't have to feel so isolated being surrounded by them and not having anyone I really *know* there :( The idea of being at a shower with just them makes me want to cry!

How do I get out of this??
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Re: Shower Stress

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    bar10521bar10521 member
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    They sound like fun (please read with sarcasm). You could always turn down the shower/luncheon and tell them something has come up that day or you're uncomfortable having more than one shower.
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    blferguson1sblferguson1s
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    I like bar10521's suggestion. There's no rule saying you have to accept any shower offers. However, if you're going to turn it down, you need to do so before she sends out invitations. Did she clear the date with you? What does your FI think? If you aren't comfortable with the way they treat you, I would for sure decline.
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    Berry327Berry327 member
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    I think the best option might be to turn down the second luncheon. :-\
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    Sjmiller418Sjmiller418
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    If you can turn down the second luncheon that would probably be the easiest using whatever excuse of why cant do it. If it too late and is going to happen I would give her a list of your other local friends and bridesmaids to be invited to it too so you have some people in your corner to talk to and not feel isolated. 

    And if your friends arent able to come I'd be having FI come along especially since its his family and any gifts are for the both of you so he can be there to support you.
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    FruitSnack84FruitSnack84
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    Thanks ladies! I think it's too late to turn it down, the text wasn't "does this work for you", it was "hey I booked this" :( What scares me is that she said she has her guest list and it's "mostly family"...uhh, I only invited family to the wedding, so if she invites her friends there will be a problem because they aren't invited to the wedding! And I am not adding anyone! I will beg my friends to come down but I would not expect them to spend two consecutive Saturdays at wedding related events for me, especially when they would have a minimum 4 hour drive to get to this luncheon thing!! I'm going to call the aunt after work to see if I can come over, I think anything I say over texts will not be well received!
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    sparkles776sparkles776 member
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    I agree, I would try to decline it if you can. If you can't try to convince your mom, friends, to try to come down so you at least have a small circle of people to surround you. I would also make sure there are only wedding guests on the guest list or that could definitely insinuate to some people that they may be getting a wedding invite.
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