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restricted list on facebook

xyriusxyrius
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So --- I have a relative who I've put on my restricted list on facebook.  I did this, because I don't want her to know every detail of my private life, and also because the last time I defriended her - it turned into this big feud.

I thought I would be safe to do this, without her knowing - but she found out.  Do you know if facebook tells you when you're on someone's restricted list?  I can't believe she found out, and so quickly.  Gah, so annoyed right now.  Christmas will be interesting.... 
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Re: restricted list on facebook

  • achiduckachiduck member
    5 Love Its First Comment

    Well if one day your status updates were avilable to her and the next day they weren't that would make it pretty clear.

    But no, I don't think FB tells you when you're added to someone's restricted list.

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  • staceycainestaceycaine member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_restricted-list-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3459aee1-7d63-4dc2-b4ce-847521786935Post:811daa8a-febe-4351-8ff8-044d08c10a2d">Re: restricted list on facebook</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well if one day your status updates were avilable to her and the next day they weren't that would make it pretty clear. But no, I don't think FB tells you when you're added to someone's restricted list.
    Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

    But wouldn't you just assume the person didn't post? I would. UNLESS I looked over at someone else's Facebook and saw that THEY saw a post I couldn't see or something. Or people were discussing your FB posts. But do people really do that?
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  • xyriusxyrius
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    She found out because she was looking for some pics I had.  Restricted removes everything from their view, which I'm OK with.  But she first asked me if I had taken them down.  Then shortly after, (an hour) she said - oh it's because I'm on your restricted list.

    eta:  I still don't know how she figured out she was on my "restricted list" - that's exactly what the list is called, unless it says it somewhere.  I went to "view as" and punched in her name, but I didn't see anything on my profile that would give it away.

    I was hoping that she wouldn't notice my lack of facebook status updates, but I guess she stalked my profile more than I thought.
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  • lbarr088lbarr088
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    Ah FB can be so cray cray.  I witnessed 3 status/fights today.  I unsubscribed from a bunch of people recently, it was wonderful.  FB doesn't tell you when you've been restricted but as PP said, blocks pics and everything.  If she found out so quickly that means she just likes to creep on you on FB all of the time :)
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  • MyUserName1MyUserName1 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Facebook wouldn't notify  her.

    Sounds like she was creeping and noticed that stuff she could see yesterday, she couldn't see today.  Maybe she asked someone else if they could still see it or if you had deleted it.

    Super-creep. (She's super-creepy, yah)
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  • xyriusxyrius
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_restricted-list-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3459aee1-7d63-4dc2-b4ce-847521786935Post:82dad041-eeab-4186-b388-40748864ffce">Re: restricted list on facebook</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ah FB can be so cray cray.  I witnessed 3 status/fights today.  I unsubscribed from a bunch of people recently, it was wonderful.  FB doesn't tell you when you've been restricted but as PP said, blocks pics and everything.  If she found out so quickly that means <strong>she just likes to creep on you on FB all of the time :)</strong>
    Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

    Gah!!!  That sounds right.  The worst part is - I have to spend Xmas eve with her, and it's at her house this year.  The last time I defriended her on FB, it wasn't fun.  I thought this would be a more discreet way - but apparently not.  Lesson learned, just a bit too late.

    I guess I could have selectively blocked her from certain things, but the restricted option just seemed so much easier.
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  • xyriusxyrius
    First Comment
    lol - now that song is in my head!!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    Why is she so needy?
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  • MyUserName1MyUserName1 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_restricted-list-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3459aee1-7d63-4dc2-b4ce-847521786935Post:5b255023-6639-4879-87ce-afc1c339e5bc">Re: restricted list on facebook</a>:
    [QUOTE]lol - now that song is in my head!!
    Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]

    You are welcome :P
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  • xyriusxyrius
    First Comment
    I wish I knew Daff.  She survives off (family) drama, and I just gave her ammunition.  I feel incredibly stupid right now though, this whole crisis could have been averted.
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  • xyriusxyrius
    First Comment
    If facebook weren't such a useful tool for me to communicate with long distance relatives and friends, I'd probably just delete it.  I'm tempted to anyway - but e-mailing pictures is such a huge PITA.
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  • mbodymbody
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    It's your choice who you wish to share your information with. Your aunt seems awfully immature.
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  • mari0225mari0225
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_restricted-list-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3459aee1-7d63-4dc2-b4ce-847521786935Post:31825f2b-439e-48e1-8d4a-993895d94f35">Re: restricted list on facebook</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't really understand why someone who was fb-dumped would be clamoring for a refriend to begin with. Seems pretty pathetic.
    Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

    Yeah it does.

    It's super weird that she's watching your facebook so much that she would even notice that.
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  • lbarr088lbarr088
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_restricted-list-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3459aee1-7d63-4dc2-b4ce-847521786935Post:cd4bea9c-1242-4a34-a8c3-e390d5995063">Re: restricted list on facebook</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: restricted list on facebook : Gah!!!  That sounds right.  The worst part is - I have to spend Xmas eve with her, and it's at her house this year.  The last time I defriended her on FB, it wasn't fun.  I thought this would be a more discreet way - but apparently not.  Lesson learned, just a bit too late. I guess I could have selectively blocked her from certain things, but the restricted option just seemed so much easier.
    Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]

    <div>You can selectively block her from stuff but you are right but it can be a PITA.  You have to go through your privacy settings and "customize" to block certain people.  </div><div>
    </div><div>I would so delete facebook but some sick part of me likes to creep on people every now and then.</div>
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  • StephBeanWed61502StephBeanWed61502 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment

    Is she in contact with other family members?  She probably just noticed she couldn't see your pics anymore, then went to cousin Susie and asked Susie if she could see them.  Susie said "oh yeah, xyrius' pics are still there" and voila!  Auntie figured out she was on your restricted list.

    I have several aunts on my restricted list, and I had to warn my mom so she would know not to give away the game when they asked her about my profile - sure enough, all of them have, at some point, asked "Why did StephBean change her FB?  Why can't I see her pics anymore?"  If mom hadn't known I blocked them, she might've accidently said something like "what are you talking about, her pics are still there."

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  • xyriusxyrius
    First Comment
    This person thrives on family drama, and anything that she can use to turn the family against me - she will use - to make herself seem like the victim.

    We do have friends in common - but 1 hour later?  She must have started checking right away.  I'm so annoyed right now.

    It should be up to me who I want to share information with, but it's not like that in reality.


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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    When I went to look at my friend, "Joe's" wall, it took me to his profile. There was a lot less info than I remember seeing last time. And there was no link to his wall. I guessed he restricted me. I honestly just don't think that particular conservative Texan wanted me to see what he was posting during the debates lol.

    Anyway, if I'm right and he restricted me, then it's pretty easy to tell when someone has restricted you.
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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Like SimplyFated said it's REALLY not hard to see that you've been restricted.  It doesn't just block them from seeing anything posted from X date forward, it blocks them from seeing ANYTHING.  Your wall just straight up disapears.  So if she went to your page to look at a picture it would only take about a half a minute to see that your photos, wall, etc. had disappeared.

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  • nickandmerrittnickandmerritt
    First Comment First Anniversary
    I don't know if you've responded to her yet, but I would just tell her that you increased the privacy settings on your account for professional/school/stalker/any of the above reasons and that it's nothing personal. If she asks why so and so can still see your profile and she can't then just say that you're still trying to fix the settings or that you're not sure why, etc.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    I don't really understand why someone who was fb-dumped would be clamoring for a refriend to begin with. Seems pretty pathetic.
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  • fluttaby32fluttaby32 member
    First Anniversary First Comment

    maybe she suspected it and compared how someone else views your profile? for example, my CW thought someone had blocked her, so asked me to look at their page under my own name to compare.

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  • KarleeKrause35KarleeKrause35
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_restricted-list-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3459aee1-7d63-4dc2-b4ce-847521786935Post:31825f2b-439e-48e1-8d4a-993895d94f35">Re: restricted list on facebook</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't really understand why someone who was fb-dumped would be clamoring for a refriend to begin with. Seems pretty pathetic.
    Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

    That's what I always think. If someone unfriended me, I would probably get the hint.
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  • xyriusxyrius
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_restricted-list-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3459aee1-7d63-4dc2-b4ce-847521786935Post:1d315ca8-5513-4d25-8af1-f957c02f1ed9">Re: restricted list on facebook</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know if you've responded to her yet, but I would just tell her that you increased the privacy settings on your account for professional/school/stalker/any of the above reasons and that it's nothing personal. If she asks why so and so can still see your profile and she can't then just say that you're still trying to fix the settings or that you're not sure why, etc.
    Posted by nickandmerritt[/QUOTE]

    Thank you -- I'm going to use this.  Fingers crossed she believes it.
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  • misstomrstodrmisstomrstodr
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_restricted-list-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3459aee1-7d63-4dc2-b4ce-847521786935Post:f4edac9e-b6e6-4b8d-95e3-c731c33524d5">Re: restricted list on facebook</a>:
    [QUOTE] Super-creep. (She's super-creepy, yah)
    Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]
    LOL! Wow my FMIL did that when I put her on a limited profile... she messaged me out of nowhere and said that knew she was on my restricted list and she was wondering if I thought she'd never find out. I played it off (acted like I accidentally restricted her when the new FB changes happened), but it only reinforced the fact that she's an uber-creeper lol so I FB posted accordingly.
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