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South Asian Weddings

Changing your name?

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Re: Changing your name?

  • Meghana55Meghana55 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm going from Mrs. CrazyLongSouthIndianName to Mrs. EvenLongerSouthIndianName hahaI've been really lazy so I haven't started the process.  First I have to get copies of my marriage certificate...then it's of to Social Security.  Then passport and DMV.  Then banks, credit card, insurance, etc. 
  • edited December 2011
    I'm changing my name! FI is Goan though so it's a relatively easy Portuguese name.In Ontario the process is very easy. You can actually "assume" his name, meaning that you can go ahead and start using your new name on all of your documents, but you don't actually legally change your name so that your birth certificate retains your maiden name and you can revert back any time. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I haven't legally changed my name, but I intend to once I get back from honeymoon (leaving in less than two weeks -- finally!) because I didn't want to have to figure out the new passport thing.  From what I understand, it's not that big of a deal once you have your marriage certificate in hand.  In NY, when you get your marriage license, you have to write what your new name will be and I chose Firstname SuperIndianLastName, so that's what it'll be when I eventually change it. I'm kind of having second thoughts, though.  I changed my Facebook name (you know, super important) to Firstname Maiden Name IndianLastName just so there would sort of be an easy transition and the thing is, I really like it like that!!  One of my friends sent me a baby shower thank-you note addressed this way (i.e., Jane Smith Krishnakumar*) and I really loved it.  My MIL also sent me a wedding present from a family member in India and it was addressed the same way, too.  I kind of wish that I had started the paperwork to drop my middle name and make my maiden name the new middle name. But ah well, too late.  I do get to hang onto my maiden name at work, though, so that's kind of fun.  I'm kind of like Maggie Seaver/Maggie Mallone (Growing Pains, anyone?  Anyone?  Crickets, crickets).
  • edited December 2011
    Oh, forgot to add that the * meant that this is not my actual new CrazyLongSouthIndian name.
  • katie978katie978 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I like all 3 too.  I'm keeping maiden as middle so it'll still be around, just not as much as it would be if it was a hyphen.  That's how my mom did it so it seemed like the normal thing to me.Where's the honeymoon, D2M??
  • edited December 2011
    The nice thing about having your maiden as your middle is that you can whip it out whenever you feel like it.  So I think you have a good plan, Katie.We're going to St. Martin!!  I seriously cannot wait. 
  • edited December 2011
    Dublin- I totally got the growing pains reference ;) I am debating on the hyphen. Fi's SA name is thankfully one of the shorter Punjabi ones and mine is a Spanish last name (Spanish settlers in Sri Lanka gotta love the mixing!) but I love my middle name. Do you have to legally drop your original middle name to add your last name as the middle name? then I will have 4 names.... or a hypened middle name.....AHHH I DON'T KNOW!!!! But, FI isn't too crazy about the hypen he was all "You already sign your last name with the first letter and a scribble why would you want a hypen scribble?!" hahaa
  • edited December 2011
    I'm doing the middle name as my maiden name thing since I don't have a middle name anyway and I really like the idea of keeping my maiden name around somewhere. And thankfully, FI does not have a crazy last name so I'm pretty excited to take his last name!
  • edited December 2011
    I am thinking about using my maiden name as my middle name and changing my last name to his. FI wanted me to change my last name to his last name and i wanted to keep my name as is so we agreed with having my maiden name as a middle and his last name as my last name. I probably will not change it right away on everything but legally the marriage license and certificate will have the new name.
  • edited December 2011
    Looks like I'm the only one not changing my name. I think I have a reasonable last name (South Indian, but only 7 letters and easy to pronounce). FI's last name is only slightly longer than mine but I prefer to keep my own and FI is fine with that. We did play around with combining our names and we came up with a totally awesome one but FI said he didn't want to change his name so we both settled on keeping our own.
  • erin&andyerin&andy member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm super excited to change my name!  I know it sounds silly.  I think it just symbolizes an amazing transition to me - my life is going to completely change, so my name just follows suit with that.  I'm giving up my last name and going with first name middle name fi's really short indian last name (5 letters, people!  That's shorter than my last name now!).  My mom dropped her maiden name when she got married, my grandmother did, as did my great-grandmother.  So it just seems sort of natural to me to do that.
  • edited December 2011
    Swan, you're not the only one :)  I'm not changing my name either.  I never thought I would, and once we were engaged I mentioned it to fiance.  He said he never thought I would change my name either, so the discussion ended there.
  • katie978katie978 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Erin, I'm like you - FI's last name is shorter than mine.  Only 4 letters!  Its actually an American first name so will be massively confusing, as it is for FI & FSIL, but I don't care.  Swan - super cool that you guys thought about combining, I always thought that would be awesome & tres modern  :)
  • edited December 2011
    I am not changing my name.  Actually-it is our tradition that I am supposed to take my husband's first name as my middle name and take his last name.  Obviously-I am not holding up to tradition! But FI is ok with me not changing my name-he agreed that it was a nice way to still honor my parents...
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  • egoego
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I haven't changed mine. I have a non-Indian first name with Indian last name, so changing my name would "take the Indian out of my name."  It would be like going from Jane Kumar to Jane Smith.  So I'm going to keep my last name.  We jokingly combine our last names and sign cards with it.  LIke "the Kumariths".  I made up all these names to protect the innocent.E
  • edited December 2011
    In FI's tradition, the women generally either take their husband's first name as their last name (per Malayalee tradition) or keep their own last name (per Muslim tradition). Anyway, I have never wanted to change my name, so I told FI and his family from the beginning I'm not. The FILs are completely cool with it, but FI is sad. I had some second thoughts recently, but now it's kinda too late because announcements for our post-wedding receptions have gone out still using my maiden name and we've ordered address labels using my maiden name .... Obviously those don't really matter, but it did sort of lock me in to my decision, which was kind of sad.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm changing my last name for sure (First Maiden HisLast, as well), but I'm considering keeping my maiden name professionally, just given the industry I work in.  I think it's a real pain, in terms of security clearances and such, to change it and I have several co-workers who have done this, too.
  • edited December 2011
    I changed it to Sasha MyMiddle HisLast.  My middle name is actually my family name and I left it up to my dad to tell me which was more important that I keep: my middle or my last.  He liked me keeping my middle better.  But since DH's last name is a really weird German name, I'm usually referred to has Sasha HisLast.  Even though I'm proud to take his name, It wasn't easy emotionally for me to change my name.  I felt like my Indian last name helped shape my identity and indicate that I was of Indian heritage.  Now I sound like a german-russian chick.  Not to mention no one can pronounce his name :(  Oh well, I'll get used to it!
  • edited December 2011
    We have the same family tradition as mastistyle.  However, I'm going to be non-traditional as well and take my maiden name as my new middle name while adopting FI's last name as mine.  My maiden name is quite short - 5 letters.  New Name?  10!  Awesome.I did a quick google search and found a few services including msnowmrs and namechangeexpress (also, imamrs for canadian brides).  I think I might go with one of them.  I like how namechangeexpress allows you to pick specific companies and use their particular forms instead of sending generic forms.Katie are you a lawyer?  Do you need to get a different bar certificate?  Let us know how it all goes!  I'm looking forward to the process as well :)
  • katie978katie978 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    yeah, I've been wondering if I'll need a new bar certificate ... probably. I'm sure I'll have to notify the bar. Deux, interesting re: security clearances, that certainly makes sense!
  • edited December 2011
    I'm changing and using my current last name as a middle name.  I've toyed with having two official last names, but I don't know if you can do that without hyphenating.    FI's name is 4 letters, although still very easily mispronounced.  I'd thought about trying to keep my name professionally to avoid the awkward mispronunciations, but it seems like too much trouble.  Plus I'm also a lawyer, so I don't know if I can sign pleadings, etc. with a name that's not my legal name.Katie - no clue what I'll have to do re my name change in my jurisdiction. 
  • katie978katie978 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    funny, sister, my FI's is 4 letters but easily mispronounced too ... Don't suppose yours is also guju brahmin?
  • edited December 2011
    No, he's actually kumaoni (Uttarakhand, near Nepal) brahmin.   
  • katie978katie978 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ok, phew  ;)
  • SmithaandMikeSmithaandMike member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm not changing my name. My FI initially didn't care till his buddies started teasing him about it but now he's gotten over it and again doesn't care. The person who does care is my dad! He thinks I should change my last name lol!
  • edited December 2011
    Ironically, I went from ShortEasySouthIndianName to LongerUnpronounceablDinosaurLikePolishName.  My brother calls me Veenasaurus Rex, and my husband Velocirudy.
  • katie978katie978 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ha!  cute, veena! 
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