NGISR Do you girlfriends treat you differently since you've been engaged?

[Deleted User] · July 2009

Just thought this could be an interesting discussion. I am 24, and consider myself fairly young to get married, and am one of the firsts of my friends to "tie the knot" :)Now, most of my friends couldn't be happier and more supportive, but there are a selective few of my single friends who I feel like make me feel guilty for it sometimes, especially when their having trouble in the dating world. They ask me for advice, and tell me I just don't understand and have already found my best friend and "the one" which is true, but then why are you asking me for my advice? Another one of my single girlfriends is constantly giving little digs about marriage, about how she never wants to settle down and how boring married couples are yada yada yada. I think we are super fun together!Anyways, just a Friday thought. Let me know your opinions!

soontobeklg · July 2009

I'm young, too (23), so I totally understand. Most of my friends are super happy for us and think we make a great couple. Some of them have told me they can't imagine being married yet, but not in a negative way, just like they aren't ready yet, but they are happy that I am. Honestly, sometimes I can't believe it myself... I never thought I'd be engaged at 23!

Nebb · July 2009

Ive had a lot of friends (mostly men) who I have drifted apart from because when they found out I was getting married they mocked me for "settling for a vanilla lifestyle". I know its for sure that a lot of my single friends dont accept my advice as useful because "you dont understand", as though I never had dating issues or was single at one point - hell, I used to call myself the undateable, because before my husband I didnt have any relationships last longer than a month. A lot of my friends now are either married or in long term relationships, but I think that might be because all of the single ones have drifted away over the years. I hate hearing them complain and try to tell them to ENJOY their alone time while they have it. The dynamic of your life totally changes when youre in a serious relationship and living with someone. ENJOY hogging the entire bed, doing anything at a moments notice without the thought of anyone else, etc. I love being with my husband but there are things I miss about being single and I dont think single people appreciate those things.

blenderdance · July 2009

Most of my friends are already married or are in long term relationships...so not really...

skiingstark · July 2009

About half of my friends are in long term relationships the other have are single. We have not heard anything bad from our single friends cause they all think it is about time we got married. We have now dated for 6 years and that does not included when we dated it high school. And all the single guys are just to excited about any reason for to go to Vegas.

[Deleted User] · July 2009

I know Nebb I feel the exact same way! I tell my little sister that all the time. Things really change, I never thought I'd be married by 25! I swear its like as soon as you find the one and decide to settle down, everyone thinks you never has a single identity, and couldnt possibly understand. Most of my friends react as other pp just said, its just a couple, and they are happy for me its just time to time they react like that.

Lalanav · July 2009

I haven't really experienced different treatment because all my friends are either in serious relationships or really interested in settling down, but I did 'lose' a 'friend' over it (not really a friend, as I quickly learned, so there was nothing to lose) because she was jealous and didn't believe in marriage and serious relationships, and couldn't handle not being #1 in my life. She definitely got meaner as soon as I got engaged, and I finally just kicked her out of my life.

jbmadonna · July 2009

What Nebb said, 100% I'm a little older, 27. I think I'm at the perfect point to get married. It helps that most of my friends are also engaged or in a LT relationship. Priorities do change when you become attached....not in a bad way, just different. My BFF is unattached and sometmes feels "undatable" also. I always tell her to enjoy it while she has it.. so I try not to talk TOO much about relationship and all. But since she is in the wedding (of course) she has gotten better about being happy and enthuaistic (sp?) about all of it

mrsbaker_610 · August 2009

I am 25, and have been struggling with this too. I feel like my single friends have become more distant. They don't invite me out anymore, even on girls' night. And even though FI and I recently bought a house about 30 minutes away, I am still more than willing to drive to be with them. I do have a lot of married or LT relationship friends, and they have been great, even offering to help with things(wedding related) that my other friends don't really seem to be interested in. I guess it just takes time to adjust, hopefully sooner than later.

jrshatto · August 2009

We're 21 and the first of our friends as well. I haven't run into much of people thinking our friendship will change or become bland, but quite a few are jealous or envious (a couple even hostile or bitter). Most, however, are very supportive and not anticipating problems.We are all going to change only for the better and still be wonderful friends.

NGISR Do you girlfriends treat you differently since you've been engaged?

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