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Etiquette

ENGAGEMENT PARTIES

how many of you had engagement parties?did you throw your own and invites tons of people?where did you have them?any info would be great.

Re: ENGAGEMENT PARTIES

  • No, we didn't have one.  Our families lived too far away for one.It is horribly tacky to throw your own party - you only get one if someone is generous enough to throw one for you.
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  • FI's roommate hosted an engagement party for us at my apartment (we were going to do it at their apartment, but they have a cat and one of the original hosts who had to back out is allergic).  It was a small brunch affair the day before Easter; we had about a dozen guests.  I drank way too much champagne and felt like I was going to die all throughout the Easter Vigil that night.
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  • Didn't have one.  We live about 4000 miles away from friends and family.You do not throw one for yourself.  Ever.  NO.
  • Didnt have one, didnt really see the point.
  • My mother wanted to throw us one but the logistics just weren't working out. It would have been at her house if we had one. Please do not throw your own party. It doesn't work that way.
  • No to the engagement party, no we didn't throw our own. You're not supposed to throw your own. It can be thrown by anyone. It can be used as a chance for the families to meet, can be a family gathering, can be a friends party, etc. Whatever. As long as someone else throws it.
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  • My FI and I are having ours in 2 weeks, I can't wait! My mother/brother are hosting it. My mother is really the one hosting it (i.e. the one planing it), but my brother is hosting it at his house.You don't host your own.
  • oh and there's going to be about 40 people there.
  • We didn't have one, it seemed a bit pointless.
  • FOB hosted the engagement party at his club. About 80 people, buffet, bar,  live music, etc.Bridal party & SOs, closest friends and family members only.Never give your own engagement party. Wait until someone offers or you don't have one.
  • No we didn't have one. Our family/friends didn't offer - and hosting your own party is considered rude, so we never thought twice. Not required.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
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    I kind of did.  It was sort of a engagement, met Lynda, DH's birthday all wrapped into one.   It given to us by my MIL and was only for DH's side (my family lives 4+ hours away).  I had never met his family/friends, actually I had only met MIL the day before.It was a pool party at MIL house.It was a little odd for me as my family/friend never has e-parties so I had never been to one.  Gettting gifts (mostly cash) was a suprise.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • thanks girls... that's one tradition i was not sure about. at first i thought it was just a party where people listened to music, drank, and said congradulations. lol had no clue it's supposed to be hosted by someone like a bridal shower. ok i get it. lol whew what would i know without u guys
  • I dont know...I didnt have one, but I have been to several thrown by the bride/groom...just as a "yay, we're engaged!" thing.  As long as its a "no gifts" party, Id see no problem with that.
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  • We had one. There's a picture and some details in my bio. We essentially organised it all ourselves, but my parents were the official hosts. We hired out a room with a bar in the local German club/pub. We started at 7:30, and provided finger food, a bar tab with German beers and wine, and hired a traditional german accordian player who played for two hours, before we had DJs play. Our e-party was really awesome and so much fun, but I think it really depends on the traditions in your area as to who you invite and how big/small/casual/fancy it is.
  • Ours is tonight in a couple of hours. My sister and mom are throwing it for us at a locat rest. / bar. We are having an open bar and appetizers. There will be about 30 - 40 people there. Can't wait!
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  • a friend of Fi's family is throwing us a "Stock the Bar" engagement party. we didn't register and told people not to get us gifts since we've lived together for quite a while.. however, we don't have all the bar essentials we would like to so when they asked we agreed. theres going to be about 40 people there. i would never throw myself a party. i'm weird about accepting gifts, much less asking for them.
  • yeah i had no clue engagement parties were for gift giving. I mean you get gifts at bridal showers, and the wedding, and house warming if you have one. I wouldn't want a gift giving engagement party as well
  • I did. Threw myself a little party of one in the middle of the living room.  Didn't invite anyone else 'cause I didn't have any pants on at the time. Modesty always, ladies.
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  • Gifts are not required at an engagement party (just like at the wedding).  The only wedding related party where guests are expected to bring a gift is a bridal shower.  For all other parties they are "not expected, but always appreciated".
  • Ditto PPs that we wouldn't have thrown our own as that's very inappropriate.MIL and FIL threw us a party and invited our parents, siblings, aunts and uncles and other friends/BP members.  It was at their house. 
  • We didn't have a real party party, but FIL took the the whole immediate family plus my mom (who is my entire immediate faimly) out to dinner to celebrate.
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