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out of town shower

hgahaganhgahagan member
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in Pre-wedding Parties
My FI and I are planning our wedding for immediate family and closest friends only (75- 100). Many of my family members ( 2nd cousins, my mom's friends etc) will not be invited and would not be able to travel to the wedding if they were invited. My mom would like to host a shower in my hometown to invite extended family to celebrate with us. I know that it is poor ettiquette to invite people who will not be invited to the wedding. My mom thinks that it will be ok if she explains that we were keeping things small and the fact that the wedding is not in my hometown. She is willing to give up on the shower if we can have a post- wedding get together with everyone else. but this also seems like a bad idea.  Any thoughts? 
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Re: out of town shower

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    Leah&Christian09Leah&Christian09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You're right, it would be rude to invite people to a shower that aren't invited to the wedding.As far as a party after the wedding, you can always have a party.  If you try to turn it into a second reception, it will seem like a gift grab.  If you just make it a party, cool.  But I wonder, if you can throw a party for all these people anyway, why can't you invite them to the wedding?
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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No to the shower before the wedding.Yes to the party afterward, as long as it is a party, and not wedding related:  second reception, shower, etc.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    ffmaidffmaid
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You shoudl decline this shower as your mom wants a rude guest list.  
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