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Rehersal Dinner

Laura0853Laura0853
First Comment
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
I'm getting married next summer (8/14/2010). I was under the impression that that the groom's parents plan and pay for the rehersal dinner, and the bride doesn't really have anything to do with it. Well the other day my FMIL asked me what I was planning for the rehersal dinner. I didn't really know what to say because I though that she was going to plan it. Should I say anything? Or should I just add that to the list of things that I need to plan?
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Re: Rehersal Dinner

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    Leah&Christian09Leah&Christian09 member
    First Comment
    The days when the bride's parents and the groom's parents had to or were expected to pay for different things went out the window when couples stopped getting married at 17 right out of their parents' houses.  Just like the wedding, if your parents or ILs offer to host the rehearsal dinner, that's great.  If they don't, you're on your own.  You should not mention wanting anyone to pay for anything for your wedding.
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    MLC613MLC613
    First Comment
    It just depends, if you want her to take control and plan it then let her. If she is paying for it, more power to her. I'm someone who wants to plan EVERYTHING for my wedding, I want everything a certain way and I want to know what's going on with every detail! BUT if you're not as OCD as me, then go for it! I would definitely ask her if she needs help or have her run ideas by you just so you know and there are no surprises are things you don't like/want at your rehersal!! Good Luck! :)
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    duckie1905duckie1905 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Unless someone offers to pay, then you are responsible for it. Tradition in terms of responsibility (planning and paying) is outdated. Brides and Grooms are responsible for all aspects of their wedding unless someone else is generous enough to offer assistance. So, add it to you list of things to plan.
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    jenni2349jenni2349 member
    First Comment
    In my case, FMIL simply wants to write the check. Doesn't want to check out places, tweak menus, etc. So she told us to take care of it and she'll pay. But, she came right out and said that one day when we were wedding-talking. Has she ever said anythng about it to your FI? A lot of FMILs are concerned about stepping on toes and annoying the bride so they are pretty careful when discussing anything wedding related. Maybe she was just asking for your thoughts as to what it's going to entail. Like amount of people you were expecting to have there, casual or formal. I would try to get on the subject again and talk about ideas. If at that point she segways into paying, great. If not, it's just another to-do on your list.
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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Perhaps that was her way of "feeling you out" for what you wanted to do to see if your ideas were in synch.But ditto other posters:  unless they specifically offer to play/pay for it, assume that this will be on you.An RD can be (and IMO should be) very laid back and comfortable as opposed to the bigger, often grander wedding reception.  As stage said:  a backyard bbq or a low key pizza get together would be just fine, and probably welcomed by all involved.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    DO NOT say anything to her. If she offers to pay great, otherwise you will be planning and paying. Pizza or a BBQ is fine.
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    Laura0853Laura0853
    First Comment
    Thanks for your thoughts! You guys are right, I am just going to plan something simple, unless somewhere down the line she offers to plan it.
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