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Hello Again...Questions

Beloved4himBeloved4him
First Comment
in Jewish Weddings
Hello Ladies! So I've not been on the board because FI became quiet ill... he has a blood disorder. Our October wedding has been delayed because of it and I am quite bummed; but thankful that FI will be okay. In trying to make (yet again) a wedding, FI did mention wanting something with more of a party atmosphere and not as strict religious. He specifically mentioned a little hotel we stayed at often in San Diego and near the Rose Garden where he proposed. I know they have done a few Jewish weddings there, so I can compromise on that. Our anniversary is on June 23rd; but that falls on a Thursday. It is a special day that we celebrate each year and next year will be 5 years we've been together. What are your thoughts on a Thursday wedding? I know it is not traditional; but it is what we initially wanted and my sister couldn't make it this past June so we changed it and now here we are again. FI does not want to delay the wedding much more and neither do I. Just curious as to your thoughts. I must say it did seem like we had to cater to everyone else's needs when planning and FI refuses to do that again. 
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Re: Hello Again...Questions

  • 2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A lot depends on how many guests you want to have.  We had a Tuesday wedding, but the guests were only immediate family and a very few close friends (under a dozen people total).  However, to be realistic, a whole lot of people will not be able to attend if it is both out of town and on a weekday. Even with our small group, all the family made it, but my son's girlfriend and my daughter's boyfriend could not. So it just depends on what you are looking for.
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  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with 2ndbride -- it really depends on how many people you're inviting and how far they're traveling. If you're inviting a handful of your closest family and friends, odds are good they'll come even if it's inconvenient. But 150 people? Unlikely you'll get good attendance. And it depends on if and how far people are traveling -- are they going to have to take off a few days before and after to come? Or are most people local?

    FWIW, I went to my best friend's wedding in NYC on a weekday at City Hall. But I was a freelancer who made my own schedule and so was she and the 5 or 6 other good friends who attended. I would have taken the day off work if I had to for her, but not for a lot of other people.

    Personally I think it's silly to limit yourself to your anniversary. DH and I celebrate our wedding anniversary and we still celebrate our "dating anniversary" -- we have 2 special days instead of just 1!
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  • Beloved4himBeloved4him
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for your responses. We don't plan on having a large wedding... probably around 40 people or so. Having the wedding on Sunday proposes an issue for OOT guests as well because they will have to leave on Monday. Under the circumstances, both FI and I feel that if people want to come, they will and if not, then that's okay. Our anniversary is when we met and when he proposed, so to us it is sweet and also the hotel is near the Rose garden and there is lots to do for folks who want to visit more. We have some time to decide and if we get a vehement opposition, we will change it; but otherwise... our closest friends will come, as well as our close family members.  
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  • colourzcolourz member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Toronto, Thursday weddings are very common as are Tuesday weddings. Out of town guests would only have one extra day to take off. If you give them enough time, they may find it a nice time for a little holiday. Whatever day you make it there will be problems for some.A Sunday may conflict with another wedding they're invited to. We did a Monday wedding and we had no problem with it.. Do what works best for you.
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  • RachiemooRachiemoo member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    Weekday (not Friday night obviously) weddings are pretty common in many Jewish communities, I wouldn't worry about it if that is what you want!

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  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_hello-againquestions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:399Discussion:d892441a-f863-4030-baa5-010b6437e8bePost:059090f7-abda-4f61-96ca-122265a2d86a">Re: Hello Again...Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]]Having the wedding on Sunday proposes an issue for OOT guests as well because they will have to leave on Monday. Posted by Beloved4him[/QUOTE]

    Obviously I don't know your guests or their constraints, but taking off a Monday for a Sunday wedding is really not the same as having to take off a Wed., Thur., and Fri. for a Thursday wedding. Of course, it's your perogative to have the wedding whatever day you want and whatever day you think will work best for your situation, but your rationalization there doesn't really make any sense.
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  • Beloved4himBeloved4him
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry, I should have clarified. We would like a candle light wedding, so it would be around 7 or 8ish. Most of our friends reside in LA, which is 2 hours away, so maybe they would leave work a little early; but it would not be necessary for a guest to take the entire Thursday off. Our family members on the other coast are fine with it and would be taking a little vacation anyhow. I appreciate everyone's opinions and will let you know what we decide as time comes closer!
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  • penaltyshotpenaltyshot
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not sure where in LA your friends live, nor where in San Diego you will hold the wedding, but the trip could easily take over 3 hours on a weekday if the attendees are supposed to arrive at 7/8pm. When we go to SD (from the San Fernando Valley), we won't leave until after 7pm on a weekday or later than 9am on a Saturday. It's just too brutal.
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  • Beloved4himBeloved4him
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No worries. Most friends would come from my work in either Irvine or El Segundo. FI and I have lived in San Diego and LA for several years. I got a promotion and came back east. I'll be returning to HQ next year. Ultimately, if people want to come (and we hope that they do); then they will try to make it. If not, that is okay too. After FI being so sick, we realized our wedding planning before seemed to cater to everyone else except what we wanted. We will be certain to give plenty of advanced notice and we are paying for about 20 rooms that close friends and family can stay in to help out as well.  Thanks again everyone for your opinions. 
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