Honoring Lost Loved Ones.....

LindzMarie19 · February 2012

Both of my Fi grandparents have passed away. One set of my grandparents have passed away, and my other grandpather is in the last stages of Parkinson's and is bed ridden. He won't be able to attend, even if he did i don't think he would understand what was goin on.
My Fi and i want to honor them during our Ceremony. I was thinking of having a pretty floral arrangement at the front of the church with a nice write up in the program so everyone would know what the flowers represented.
My fi wants a floral arrangement for each person, a picture, and a write up in the program. Now, i think that makes it seem more like a memorial service than a wedding ceremony. I want to honor my Fi wishes and our lost loved ones, but this is a wedding ceremony not another funeral service.

What do yall think?

midgetthemighty · February 2012

I think that floral arrangements for each loved one would be a little over the top for a wedding, but pictures can be small and work very well. Maybe you could compromise and do single roses (or some other single stemmed flower) for each loved one?

chelseakopperud · February 2012

I think once nice arrangement and a note in the program is perfect. That is exactly what we are doing.

SheilaDancer43 · February 2012

Yes, we are, but more in the way you want to do it. I agree that I feel like if you go with how your FI wants it, it seems more like a memorial. I think one arrangement and something about it in the program would be wonderful, and just as meaningful as it would be with a different arragement for everyone. Idk exactly what we will do, but something similar to what you want. I like something I saw on Pinterest that was a burning candle and had a little card explaining it's meaning, plus I would put something in the program too.

myfeverplays · February 2012

I would also feel like I was walking into a funeral service if I saw all of those flowers for those who have passed. I think 1 arrangement is plenty to honor them.

We are having a table set up at the reception with 1 memorial candle with all of their names on it and then photos of each set of Grandparent's from their wedding day to still relate it to the wedding. FI has lost both sets of grandparents and I only have my Nana left.

peachykeen26 · February 2012

I said yes, but we aren't sure. We may have something written in the program, but that's about it.

BrooklynNovia · February 2012

There will be a line in our program and three empty chairs at the end of the first row with flowers [one rose maybe] on them. I think you'd have to know what you'd be looking for to notice and there won't be any other demarkation, like their pictures or names.

We'll know what it means, which is the most important thing.

midgetthemighty · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_honoring-lost-loved-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:e4c0ae2c-e353-451f-97ab-a0bd0f981134Post:3a6dda24-bd63-4606-b7d2-ae3770fc3c81">Re: Honoring Lost Loved Ones.....</a>:
[QUOTE]There will be a line in our program and <strong>three empty chairs at the end of the first row with flowers [one rose maybe] on them.</strong> I think you'd have to know what you'd be looking for to notice and there won't be any other demarkation, like their pictures or names. We'll know what it means, which is the most important thing.
Posted by BrooklynNovia[/QUOTE]

I really like this idea. A lot. I might steal it, if we actually have the space left for empty chairs.

diamondx423 · February 2012

I'm putting something in the back of the program and having a candle with a gardenia at the church. For the reception we're displaying family wedding pictures so they will be there as well.

sleblanc72 · February 2012

I like Midge's idea of single flowers if he really wants them all separate or else could you just put a small photo of each with the one flower arrangement? That's what we're doing in our reception area (we're having a quick ceremony outside).

ncd5015 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_honoring-lost-loved-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:e4c0ae2c-e353-451f-97ab-a0bd0f981134Post:fb33ebee-e624-4a5a-8c1a-40426aeb728d">Re: Honoring Lost Loved Ones.....</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm putting something in the back of the program and having a candle with a gardenia at the church. For the reception we're displaying family wedding pictures so they will be there as well.
Posted by diamondx423[/QUOTE]

This is what we're doing also. All of my grandparents are still living, but only FI's paternal grandmother is still living.

My grandfather has Parkinson's also and will most likely not be able to attend the wedding, if he is still living then :( Such a horrible disease

kristin183 · February 2012

We have 7 Grandparents total that have passed away and will be honoring them. I could not imagine doing 7 separate memorials; I think it would be too much and a little depressing. I am doing charms on my bouquet with pictures of our loved ones and then at the reception we will have a vase with all their names on the vase and I will place my bouquet with the charms in the vase.

KrisKenny · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_honoring-lost-loved-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:e4c0ae2c-e353-451f-97ab-a0bd0f981134Post:a934c526-dba6-40f2-9f18-afc5f6265698">Re: Honoring Lost Loved Ones.....</a>:
[QUOTE]I think once nice arrangement and a note in the program is perfect. That is exactly what we are doing.
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]

This is what we are doing as well. FI just recently (in the past 2 yrs) lost both his Nana & Papa and was completely devestated, even though they lived a nice, long life. I would like to remember them, as well as my Nana who passed away 25 years ago.

HarperBargo · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_honoring-lost-loved-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:e4c0ae2c-e353-451f-97ab-a0bd0f981134Post:a934c526-dba6-40f2-9f18-afc5f6265698">Re: Honoring Lost Loved Ones.....</a>:
[QUOTE]I think once nice arrangement and a note in the program is perfect. That is exactly what we are doing.
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]

This. We are also going to have a table with wedding pictures of parents and grandparents as well.

G2SoccerTaz · February 2012

I have lost all my grandparents, and FI has one set but they are not able to travel to the wedding. We have not decided what to yet for them.

FI lost his dad at the age of 12 and we would like to do something to honor him since his dad did make a huge impact on his life even at such a young age. We thought of putting together a frame college of some of our favorite pictures. and putting it somewhere.

Ash61612 · February 2012

I ike the idea of a single flower for each person.

Hilraythebride · February 2012

I am going to get a charm for me bouquet and put a picture of my grandfather in it. My FI has not mentioned wanting to honor his grandfather in any way but I will ask him tonight!!

I am also going to put a candle that has a sticker on it with something like "In memory of those who will always be in our hearts," I am going to put a picture of my Uncle in a small frame and next to the candle.

I plan on putting this candle between my sister and I at the bridal table.

calisel · February 2012

I am currently working on a memorial collage to display at the reception. I would do something at the church but don't want it to seem more like a memorial service instead of a wedding.

DrPB2b13 · February 2012

I don't know yet if we're going to do a memorial. I recently lost my grandmother, which leaves a very big hole in our day - she was really looking forward to being there, and she and I were very close. FI also lost his uncle/godfather, as well as his grandmother when he was in college.

However, it feels awkward to "leave out" various family members who passed away that we don't really know. My aunt died when I was 3, so I have no memories of her and no personal desire to add her - but she was the sister to my mother, aunt, and uncle, and mother to two of my cousins, so I'm afraid of offending them all if we don't include her.

I am honoring my grandmother in other ways though, so maybe we will just put up a "generalized" memorial for those we wish could have been there. FI and I need to talk this over.

L&J2012 · February 2012

FI and I both recently lost a grandfather within a couple months of each other. What we're going to do at the ceremony is have a seat reserved with a rose on it for each grandfather. The officiant is going to say something before the actual ceremony starts to take a moment to think of those who couldn't make it who have helped bring us to this moment.

Also, I have kept a heart clock necklace that my other grandma (mom's side) wore all the time before she died back in 2004. I plan to integrate that necklace into my bouquet. No one knows about it except me and my mom (she teared up when I showed it to her and told her my idea), so it'll be a special little way to honor my grandma, who looked after us after school every day for a long time, without anyone else knowing.

kimiandgary · February 2012

I agree with the one bouquet of flowers and a small picture of each person for a compromise. There are some really great vases out there with a memorial saying on them so you wouldn't need a note unless you wanted one.

We are honoring them with donation favors. I personally don't like the idea of the empty seat.. to me its a glaring reminder that someone is missing. Just my opinion though

edw7479 · February 2012

I'm doing a brooch bouquet, and in the bouquet I will have three little frames - one for my dad and one for each of my grandmothers.

I'm not filling it up with every family member that has passed away. Only the three that would have been a huge part of my day if they were still here.

Other than that, no other memorials.

For you and your fiance, I agree with the PPs that said one flower arrangement and some photos or a mention in the program. Or, if your FI has to have them separated, a single stem for each. I agree that a whole arrangement for each person is a bit overpowering for a wedding.

DrPB2b13 · February 2012

I also agree that an entire arrangement for each is overwhelming, but if you're intent on having something individual that's more than just a single flower, you could check with your florist to see if they could make a mother's bouquet for each instead, to lay on a table with pictures. I've known a few brides who did those instead of corsages for their mothers, they're just very very small bouquets; depending on what you're doing for your BMs, they're roughly a third of the size.

julianahenao881 · February 2012

I personally think it would better to have just one floral arragement that represent everyone. One for each would be too much...for a wedding

Im doing a candle with everyones name

Hope that helps!

acaponi87 · February 2012

I am not sure if we are.

Between FI and I we have lost 3 grandparents in 13 months. Our grandpas died within 2 days and we literally would not be together if it wasn't for the decisions those men made. I mean everyone can kind of cite their relatives for their existance I know but we met through our families..up at our cottage (on a small island) that both our grandpa's bought cottages on. Our families have been good friends since then. We may do a little something but it definitely won't be big. I guess we haven't discussed it yet.

[Deleted User] · February 2012

I'm having a note in the program and a little pin on my bouquet with my Granny's picture in it, but that's all I'm doing.

Elizabeth80 · February 2012

Love this and so sweet! We plan to hand a rose to His parents (each of their parents are deceased) and to my brother (our dad is deceased).

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_honoring-lost-loved-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:e4c0ae2c-e353-451f-97ab-a0bd0f981134Post:3a6dda24-bd63-4606-b7d2-ae3770fc3c81">Re: Honoring Lost Loved Ones.....</a>:
[QUOTE]There will be a line in our program and three empty chairs at the end of the first row with flowers [one rose maybe] on them. I think you'd have to know what you'd be looking for to notice and there won't be any other demarkation, like their pictures or names. We'll know what it means, which is the most important thing.
Posted by BrooklynNovia[/QUOTE]

DoubleAS · February 2012

My fi and I were extremely close to our grandparents (we both only knew our mother's parents, ironically)... We're leaving three seats in the front row empty for their presence during the ceremony. We will also have their wedding pictures on the card table, along with our parents wedding pics, and one of our engagement pics.

lopezalonso · February 2012

I think that the one floral arrangement is a nice idea. The individual arrangements does make it look like a memorial service. FI's maternal grandmother passed away in October from a brain tumor that came as a surprise. She would have been 82 the day before our wedding. I asked FI's mom how we should. Ommemorate her at the wedding and she said that her mother would have not wanted to take away from our day and that she preferred to not focus on that. What I'm going to do is have pictures of us with our family all over our venue. To remember all loved ones that could not make it and to give the venue more of a family feel.

Honoring Lost Loved Ones.....

Re: Honoring Lost Loved Ones.....

Choose Another Board

Search Boards