I just got engaged a month ago and have not set a date. I'm considering, early on, gently telling my mother and sister that I do not want a shower.I have several reasons that I think are good, but I do want advice because neither do I want to commit any huge breach of etiquette.My reasons are (1) I have already set up house with my fiance, and I really do not want or need and perhaps most saliently, have room in my apartment for any of the traditional household items, and compounding this fact is that even if I did need something, I am into more unique, hand-crafted or vintage items so the idea of a registry makes me uncomfortable; that said, I wouldn't feel comfortable not registering if I did have a shower, because I don't want people feeling uncomfortable about what to get and ending up with a lot of stuff I don't want etc.(2) I don't want people to have to give me two gifts. I'm from Northern New Jersey and people tend to give a gift at the shower and at the wedding, it just seems inevitable. Also, in Northern NJ weddings are very expensive and since my fiance and I are paying for it ourselves, we are putting a huge dent into our savings and thus what we really need is money, which I think people would be more inclined to give by default if there was no shower or registry (I would certainly never come out and ask for it, I just want to steer it in that direction).(3) I have no really close female friends, my sister is the maid-of-honor and my 18-yr-old stepsister my bridesmaid, and my fiance's family lives 300 miles away, so it's inevitable that my family is going to throw it (my mother and I threw one for my sister when she got married), which isn't really the traditional route anyway. My fiance thinks I should just let them have one but I feel strongly about all of the above. I suggested registering for books, dvds (we are huge movie buffs and are creating a movie library) etc. but he told me he thought this was uncouth. I'm sorry this was long; any advice is appreciated.-- "olivethomas"