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Choosing Bridesmaids

cntrycutie523cntrycutie523
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in Pennsylvania-Central
I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do about bridesmaid. I have my 3 cousin picked out so far because we all decided long ago that we'd be in each others weddings. I am totally fine with that because we all get along and they will be around forever, we are like sisters! I have a few other close friends but my question is should I choose someone else who is close to me now and has a special place in my life at this point, or choose some ( like I chose family) who will be there in the long run. I talked to my one married cousin and she doesnt talk to one of her bridesmaids since after the wedding and my aunt said she hasn't seen her's since a few months after the wedding. what is appropriate.. long term people, or important people in your life at this moment? Thank you in advance  :)
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Re: Choosing Bridesmaids

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    K-hartK-hart
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Personally, I would choose the bridesmaids that you are closest to. I was in a few weddings over the past two years of girls that I ma close to, but I have a core group of girls that I'm really, really tight with that I choose  over them. They will definitely understand especially because they are family. Also, there's not reason that you can't include everyone in the wedding. There is no rules saying you have to have 4 groomsmen and 4 bridesmaids. You could have 4 and 6 or 3 and 5. Don't choose around "numbers" choose the people that matter most in your life. What about have each of the cousins do a reading for the wedding? Or do a toast? There are different ways to incorporate everyone without making them be "the guestbook attendent" Seriously, no one wants that job. For my wedding I'm having 4 GM and 5 BM. I'm also having both a Matron of honor and a Maid of honor. In addition, I really wanted to include my three brothers, so I asked them to hand out programs and be ushers for the ceremony. There are definitely no rules, so don't get caught up in them. It's more important that you have the best of the best supporting you on your day!!!!
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    cntrycutie523cntrycutie523
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    edited December 2011
    Thank you for your response. I guess I wasn't very clear about my question haha. I already chose my 3 cousins because I really do want them as bridesmaids, not just because they are family but because I dont have that many close friends and they mean the world to me! My question is I have a few acquaintances that I talk to but wouldn't call them best friends. We hang out, have a good time things like that, like my brothers girlfriend and some other girls. I didn't know if it was okay to choose someone ( like my brothers girlfriend ) who I am close with now, but anything could happen as they are young. Also theres a girl I've known since she was 12 and I was 15, but she's not very reliable. I just dont want to choose people and then 5 years down the road be like what the hell.. why did I choose that person? Being as I've never been very close with any girls or had a "BFF" its hard to choose girls. Numbers dont mean a whole lot to me. I would be fine with just my 3 cousins, but then I can't really choose a maid of honor! As long as there are an even number of girls/guys then I'm okay. I know that anythings goes anymore and I should have the wedding how I want, but I want to be smart about it too. anyway I hope that clarifies my dilema. Thanks again =]
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    mamie329mamie329 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Like you said you don't want to look at your wedding pics five years from now and think, "Oh that's Susie. I wonder what ever happened to her." If you're not close with any girls other than your three cousins, leave it at three and don't have a MOH. Or make them all MOH. Even WPs are a thing of the past. We had 4 GM and 5 BM and the world didn't end, much to MIL and DH's aunt's dismay.
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    Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
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    K-hartK-hart
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Mamie. Just have your three cousins and cut it off there. I've heard too many bad-bridesmaid stories to suggest that you just invite them into that role if you're not 100% sure that they will be amazing, not complain, support you, be financial able to do it, etc. Three is PLENTY!! Also, you can have either a) NO MOH or b) 3 MOH's. It's doesn't really matter here what you do!! It's YOUR wedding do what you are most comfortable with and don't let anyone else tell you that it's not right.
    --->Planning Bio --->My Nest in progress ---> Baby Blog Photobucket
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    steeser03steeser03
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    edited December 2011
    believe me, i've had a lot of trouble with bm's, you dont want to feel pressured to choose someone. you want girls that you are happy they are standing next to you and who are happy that they are standing next to you. im having an even group, but we have one moh and two best men. and two bridesmaids and one groomsman. so we will have two groups of three for announcement, leaving the ceremony, etc. not just with WP but with everything... dont get caught up in "standard" do what makes you happy.
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    cntrycutie523cntrycutie523
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies! It's really helpful to hear other girls opinions! I liked your advice/ideas  =]
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    bmbwtfbmbwtf member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    HI, I definitely had some trouble also so no worries or stress, I had a best friend growing up, we were like sisters and always swore to be in each others wedding, but since high school, we both changed alot and completely lost touch and went a totally different path in our lives, as sad as it sounds, I don't even know that girl she was anymore, but when it came time to choose bm's, i felt obligated to include her, even thought my heart told me I didnt want to for a lot of personal reasons... i was stuck so I asked my sister and my other best friend (both maids of honor) and they both told me that I should choose people who are going to be there to support my marriage and who have a place our future, it just happens that I am lucky enough to have many people from my past that fit into my future, but sadly she is not one of them. So I guess my advise is the same, that when it comes down to it I would choose friends/family that are going to be there for you. There are a lot of other ways to include some other friends, such as handing out programs, or doing readings at the ceremony! Good luck~
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