Marriage Prep Course

Littlin · August 2009

We are starting a marriage preparation course in Toronto this Thursday. We are getting married in a Catholic Church next summer so we have to complete this course first. Anyone have any experience with the Catholic courses, or just marriage courses in general? Any advice? We live together, and our priest knows that, but I'm still worried about what they'll say at the course. Some have mentioned it is a lot of guilt-tripping... Any information would be great! Thanks.

kelmcgee · August 2009

We did our marriage prep course in February, the church we go to holds it one weekend a year. It was really not to bad. It was set up that they gave us topics to discuss and then we went off and talked about them just the 2 of us. Most of the other people in our course that were actually teaching the course were divorced previously and remarried. I'd say about 75% of the people in the course were living together so I wouldn't worry about it.

raspberry_bride · August 2009

Hi Littlin,I really think it depends on who is running the course. We did our course in February during one weekend, and it was hosted by one of our deacons and his wife. We also had guest speakers on various topics like finances, parenting, etc.At no time did they centre anyone out and make them feel guilty about anything. Like previous poster said, it was a lot of one on one with your fiance discussing issues that arise in a marriage. They want to make sure that you and your fiance know what the other expects from marriage, and that you have thought it through. Of course they also promote a catholic lifestyle.I thought it was a great opportunity, and I wouldn't worry too much about it.

h.grant3 · August 2009

My fiancé and I did a pre-marriage course, although not in a catholic church (It was a Baptist Church) , but it was actually really good. They went over a lot about love languages, and how to keep each other happy, working as a team, understanding and working out differences (how to fight right), talking about expectations for the marriage, talking about the commitment of marriage, etc. It was really good and we both enjoyed the weekend a lot. There were four couples there for the weekend and I don't think anyone was singled out, it was very relaxed and they gave you more-or-less "private" discussion time with your fiancé after each section. GL!

ring_pop · August 2009

I did marriage prep through the Catholic church and had a really great experience!My church does it a little differently from most. They pair up the engaged couple with an older sponsor couple, and you meet 2-on-2 over 3 or 4 sessions. They still follow the standard 'curriculum' but it was really nice to get to know some really good role models. Even though we didn't really learn anything new, there were still a few little surpirses along the way. It was just a nice experience to remind each other why we were together, and reaffirm that getting married was right for us. We walked away from each session saying to each other, "WOW.... I love you!" There was a lot of focus on our family history and personalities, communication & conflict resolution. I don't think the living together and sex issue was brought up.It depends on the individual church, of course, but go in with an open mind. I hate the perception that being Catholic is only about guilt. They are making you do this because they want your marriage to succeed, not to make you feel bad about it.

Littlin · August 2009

Thanks for all the responses! It's great to know that the majority have had great experiences. Before I posted, I had only talked to one recently married couple, who didn't live together beforehand, but still felt horribly guilty about the way they lead their lives. I'm glad that this is the exception, and not the rule. I think even if we weren't getting married in a Catholic Church, that I would still do a marriage prep course of some sort. I agree that it's a great way to discuss things you may not have thought of, or hear other people's experiences. Thanks for all the encouragement - I'll let you know how it goes after our first night on Thursday!

kaesha · August 2009

Our marriage prep course (with the Anglican church) was amazing too. I've done a few Catholic courses as a product of the Catholic education system though. I think I lucked in to a lot of good ones (it seems like most teenagers in the Catholic system have bad experiences) or at least good priests who aren't into the whole judging thing. Just go into it with your mind open.

MeaghanG · August 2009

We did our marriage prep class a few months ago with the Anglican church. It wasn't a good experience, or a bad one. It was a bit of a waste of time for us. We have been best friends for 6 years and a couple for 2. As confirmation that we are perfect for each other, it was great. As a learning experience...not so much. I would go into it with an open mind. Sex and living together never came up in our course.

3plus2=5 · August 2009

We did a marriage prep course with the Presbyterian church for my first marriage and it was a good experience. Basically what all the pps have mentioned was covered. Expectations of the marriage, our goals for the future, our communication styles and how we plan to work on any differences in that arena. I personally think it is something that every couple should have to go through, whether through a religious affiliation or not, before they enter marriage.My FI and I are trying to find something in our city now that isn't attached to a church as neither of us are religious. These courses actually harder than I thought it would be to find. We may end up having to go to a marriage counsellor and just doing a few couples sessions.

miellen · September 2009

Does anyone have recommendations for a secular prep course? I'm really interested in doing something like this with my fiance, but neither of us are religious.

Marriage Prep Course

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