I can't recall if I've posted about my friend's boyfriend before. Long story short, they've dated on and off since high school and it's always ended badly. After college they got back together, lived together, and they ended up breaking up for real because he had no job, was mooching off her, etc. She said it was the last time. She seemed to really be done with him, but now a few years later, they're back together.
This time is more serious. She says he's changed (of course) and that they plan to get engaged soon. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and Mike and I and went out to dinner with them one night. I had met him before but never really spent much time with him, and never one on one. Well, I don't even know how to express how awful of a person he is. I couldn't even believe it. He is so rude, bored with life and everyone in it, makes zero effort to have a personality or talk, nothing makes him happy. He sat slumped in the chair the whole time complaining or staring into space. Mike can talk to anyone and even he left that dinner saying he would never go out with them again. I left really upset and wondering how on earth my friend can't see how awful he is. I never said anything then, hoping they'd break up again.
Fast forward to our wedding, my friend was a BM. My best friend and another friend (both BMs too) told me afterward how rude he was to them. He was even rude to my mom when she came up to say hello. My best friend said that he was completely rude to their server at the table and demanded she take his plate away when she was juggling a ton of stuff and clearly couldn't. She also said my friend wanted to dance and he basically just shut that down real quick. He never said one word to us, much less congratulations (which doesn't bother me, but just to give you an idea of his personality). I don't think he left the table actually. When my friend was away from the table, my best friend tried to make conversation and asked him if he thought they were going to get engaged sometime soon and he was very emphatic that he did not plan to get engaged.
So my question is, would you say something? It makes me upset for her, but also upsets me that he was rude to my mother as well as a staff member. You don't like my friends, fine, but those two are beyond the line to me. I know that if they do get engaged she'll ask me to be a BM, and I wouldn't feel comfortable supporting it without saying how I feel but I think like waiting until that point comes is even worse than saying it now, even though there's really no good time to tell someone they shouldn't marry the person they love.