How late is too late for thank you notes?

kellymaureen711 · September 2009

I may get blasted for this...but bear with me. I'm getting married October 24th. FI and I will be moving at the end of December. I thought it might be nice to wait to send thank you notes until then, so everyone will also know our new address. Is that waiting too long? Is that rude? Thanks in advance guys.

mmm_080809 · September 2009

Thank-you notes should be sent immediately for all gifts you receive before the wedding. For gifts you receive at the wedding, I would try to send them as soon as possible, preferably within a month or two after the wedding at the most. It only takes a few minutes to write one note, and if you write a few at a time while you're watching your favorite shows and delegate some to your DH, it'll be done in no time. IMO, it is very rude to purposely put off a timely thank you. Wanting to put cute little return address stickers on your envelopes is not a good reason to put off thanking your family and friends for their generosity at your wedding so long after the event. If the only reason you want to send them out so late is to update everyone with your new address, just include a small card with the thank you announcing your new address and the date after which you can be reached there. "We're moving! After December 30th, we'll be in our new home at 123 Maple Avenue"

Leah&Christian09 · September 2009

Yes, that's waiting too long. If you already know your new address, you can put a card inside that says "After December X, we will be at home at Y." If you don't, you can send an email announcement after you move or include the new address on holiday cards. Thank you notes should go out ASAP. More than a month is really pushing it.

SpceCadet · September 2009

I may get blasted for this too... I agree and disagree with pp. I agree that Thank You's should go out as soon as you possibly can. I agree that anything received before the wedding should go out as soon as you return from your honeymoon. I disagree that the end of December is too late for anything that arrives a week before or at your wedding. I agree with pp about if you know your address, include the info. On the other side, I think it's fine to wait for a few reasons: -If you are gone for - say - a week after your wedding for a honeymoon, you'd return Nov. 1. If you got right to opening presents and writing thank yous, they "could" go out on Nov. 21 assuming you both work and have social obligations as well. Waiting a little bit longer to mail wouldn't be that long. - Time of year and considerations for your life. You got married, it's holiday time and you are moving. Personally, I think it's more effective to receive one item over two in the mail and with all of that on your plate... - I have a time vortex between the start of November and New Year's Day. Somehow it feels like NOTHING is accomplished. -With all of the weddings I have attended, I have gotten a thank you about a month and a half after the wedding at the earliest and as late as six months. As a compromise, maybe send thank yous to the people who would be offended receiving them later and hold off on people who would be more understanding? Overall, I think you need to do what's best for you and your FI. I think it would be rude to not send thank you cards at all, but I feel it's fine to do what fits your life best.

ffmaid · September 2009

No later then 6-8 weeks and even that is pushing it. Ideally within a week or two as fast as you can get them written

Leah&Christian09 · September 2009

It really isn't as big of a deal as PP makes it out to be. We got married on 5/23. We recieved several gifts before the wedding. TYs for those went out before the wedding. We were gone for 2 weeks and returned home on 6/7. Our house was broken into while we were gone, and I spent the first 3 days back dealing with the disaster. We picked up our gifts and cards from the wedding on Saturday 6/13, opened them, and wrote TY notes that day and on Sunday, put everything away, and got settled in. There were about 60 notes. It took a few hours. I dropped them in the mail on Monday, 6/15. There is really no reason it should take more than a week or two after getting back from your HM to send them out. Letting them go for 3-6 months is just lazy, and the longer you put it off, the harder it gets.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · September 2009

Do you know where you are moving? I'd put the new address on them anyway. If you don't know, why not get a PO Box and use that as your new mailing address?

ffmaid · September 2009

it took us a week to write them but we did them after dinner 5 each a day for a week it was nice chatting about the wedding and the people at teh wedding and who gave us what and stories about them . It is not that time consuming

kellymaureen711 · September 2009

We're not sure where we're moving, just know that our lease is up at the beginning of January and we're not renewing. I should probably note that if we were just moving, without the wedding, we probably wouldn't make a formal effort to let people know our new address, outside of our parents and siblings. Just because we don't use snail mail too much.

jinxed8605 · September 2009

Gifts that arrive before the wedding get thank yous immediately. Any gifts from the wedding need to have thank yous sent within 2 months.

alyson916 · September 2009

If you are sending a picture with your thank you notes you have up to 1 year to send them. That's how it's done in NJ.

ffmaid · September 2009

alyson- That is false after a month or two people will view you are rude for not sending propt thank yous even if picture included send them promptly or send a 2nd card with the picture following the first card with the thank you .

ejsaeger · September 2009

Here's a tip that might help speed up the process of writing thank-you's. For each RSVP you get, go ahead and address an envelope to that person. At most, you'll waste a couple of envelopes on people who for whatever reason don't bring gifts. You don't want cookie-cutter thank-you's--they should be sincere--but if you have a formula, pre-addressing envelopes will cut the time almost in half.

kellymaureen711 · September 2009

I don't think we'd have a problem getting the thank you notes out promptly if we take the new address consideration out of it. My shower notes were out within a week. And for wedding thank yous I'll have my husband to help me. But I do appreciate the advice being disseminated on this thread on thank you note speeding up.

themidge · September 2009

it is rude to wait that long - what you can do is enclose a note saying "we are moving - here is our new address". or, just send your thank you notes like normal, then in december send christmas cards with your new return address.

mizu22 · September 2009

Proper etiquette gives you 8 weeks. Look it up, you'll find that stat. It should be ok based on that, but do you really want to do your thank yous so close to the holidays??

themidge · September 2009

"If you are sending a picture with your thank you notes you have up to 1 year to send them. That's how it's done in NJ." i am born and raised nj native and that is NOT how it's done.

linzlou83 · September 2009

Some people take these things way too seriously. If you want to wait until late December to send your thank yous, that's still about 2 months and completely acceptable. It's just a matter of whether you think you'll have more time now or then to write them out. I wouldn't wait too much longer than the end of December though as people will start to wonder if you got their gift and if their card made it to the basket.

bonniebrett · September 2009

emily post says within 3 months ( i thought it was a year ). so, you have until the end of january. i wouldn't be offended if my thank you note came within the 3-4 month period.... as long as they are sent! i have friends who got married last october, and are waiting for their photos to send out thank yous.

cg-pm52111 · September 2009

Send them right away if you can. I was the MOH in a wedding this past June and I didn't get a thank you from the shower until July and I still haven't gotten a thank you from the wedding. I'm a stickler for etiquette and it really sucks when you don't get recognized.

ryanres1 · September 2009

Yes ... sorry! I wanted to wait to change my name until we move in December too, but I changed it now for professional reasons ... stupid job regulations ...

How late is too late for thank you notes?

Re: How late is too late for thank you notes?

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