HELP! Your input would be appreciated!

rotarychick · September 2009

Hello everyone! I am so glad I found this site!The better half decided we should get married in NOVEMBER of this year, the 15th to be exact! I am panicing! I have had people tell me you can plan a wedding in a month and then I have the other half telling me its not going to happen. Well, I already have my dress and were not planning on a big wedding, about 80-100. Just really close friends and family. We havent gotten the invites out yet and only a few people know about it. Being its such short notice I want to write a little memo in the invites saying we would be more than happy with money for the honeymoon or gift cards. How do you politely go about that? I asked him about it and he said it was too cheesey.Any input or any other advice on planning last minute is greatley appreciated! Mandy

futuremrsdawes · September 2009

My wedding is 11.15.09 as well for about the same number of guests, and let me tell you I can't imagine starting from scratch at this point. I would honestly ask your FI why he wants to get married so soon, a little time to plan is a nice thing to have - there is a lot to do for a wedding involving that many people. However if you are both dead set on that date you will have to have realistic expectations for that time frame - can you organize a cake & punch reception in that time frame, possibly. Can you organize a sit down dinner at the number #1 most popular wedding venue in your area with a top notch photographer/etc - absolutely not. I guarantee you that a number of other brides are getting married on that particular day and they have already booked vendors/venues. In response to your question about asking for money. That is a HUGE NO. You never ask for gifts or money, you typically (although you will get different opinions on here in regards to it) put registry information in your invitations. It's a huge etiquette no-no. I would recommend if you have your heart set on that date your first step is to decide on what type of reception/ceremony you want to have and then book the venue(s), the officiant first then go from there. The Knot has a lot of lists of things that should be done and I would recommend looking at them. There are a lot of boards on here devoted to different things so I would recommend asking particular questions on the appropriate board, and as always your local board is a good place to ask about particular vendors/venues in your area. Good Luck!

Mrs.B6302007 · September 2009

1) Congratulations!2) You can definitely put this together in a short time. Work with your local board for venues and some vendor reviews. Have an open mind as far as the ceremony and reception go: keep it simple and you'll be less stressed.3) You CAN'T ask for money or GCs. Sorry, but it's impolite.GL in your planning!

Mrs.B6302007 · September 2009

ETA: Registry info does not go in the invites - shower invites, yes but not wedding invites. At this late in the game, you may not even get a shower so if you are truly wanting GCs and cash, don't set up a registry and tell your family to spread it word of mouth as people ask where you're registered. "Oh, they didn't get a chance to register but I do know they're saving up for a down payment on a house" or the like.

peachkins · September 2009

Yeah, there's no good way to ask for money on your wedding invites. I've also heard a wedding can be done in this short of time, but you're going to have to keep an open mind with this wedding. Venues that you may have wanted may be booked up already- we had to get ours a year in advance and had to change our date as it was because they were almost totally booked for our wedding month. I would also agree that simple will be better. While 80-100 isn't a huge wedding, I don't consider it a small one either. Unless you're hiring a wedding planner to do stuff for you, I would keep a lot of little details to a minimum and just stick with what you absolutely need.

Leah&Christian09 · September 2009

First, why is your FI making this decision? It's both of your wedding, and you should agree on a date that you are both comfortable with. He doesn't get to pick the date and then leave you to put together the details. If he insists on this date, he needs to be with you 100% of the way pulling his own weight. You can do a wedding in two months if you are really flexible. Nov 15 is a Sunday, so you will probably be able to find a venue and vendors available with short notice. Figure out your budget and guest list first, like this week. Then plan to start looking at venues ASAP. Once you have that, book a caterer, photographer, DJ, cake baker and florist right away, and then get invites out immediately. You can DIY simple invites with a kit and a home printer (or a kinko's printer) in an afternoon, so you won't have to wait for a printer. They typically go out 6-8 weeks, but if you can get them out by October 15, you'll be fine. Once you have those things lined up, Start thinking about your dress, your attendants and decorative touches. Realistically, if you have a flexible schedule, you can get all your vendors lined up in two weeks. You're just going to have to understand that you probably won't get your first choice of many, you won't have much time to negotiate good deals, and you can't be too picky about details. You never include anything in your wedding invitations about gifts or registry. Ever. It isn't just tacky or cheesey, it's flat out rude. Putting together a last minute wedding is no excuse to be rude to your guests. If you want to register, do it. It only takes a few hours. If you don't want to register, don't. Guests will either take the hint and give money or give you white elephants.

rotarychick · September 2009

Well thank you all so much, I feel a lot better! We have a place for the reception/ceremony and are debating between two caterers. Our friends mom who owns her own restaurant (who is like our mom) or just go with the hotels. I am going out and getting the invitations after work today. The reason its so soon is because I am joining the air force, and we got together in november 4 years ago. There is a lot we are agreeing on... Thank Goodness! Otherwise I know I wouldnt be able to do this.

kschwedic · September 2009

Wow--you do have a lot on your plate with so little time to plan. Have you considered (and this may not be anything you want to do, but I know it's done a lot around here where I'm from) maybe getting married on that date with only a few friends and family and then planning a larger reception a little later in the month or for the next month? I think that if you looked at that option, you would have more time to focus on finding a nice venue for the reception and putting together a nice buffet-style menu or something. Of course, it will all depend on where you're planning to have the ceremony/reception and whether or not those places are booked which most likely they are.

stina93446 · September 2009

Writing anything in your invites about gifts or money is tacky. Period. It makes you look gift grabby and like you're expecting a gift. You should make a wedding website and have your guests go there. Once there, you can have a link to a honeymoon registry. This would be the only way to pass it in my book, and even a honeymoon registry is pushing it. But if it's the only registry, then people would get to help pay for wine and scuba, etc. However, your lack of registries will not discourage Auntie Bess from getting you a pillow with your wedding date crocheted on it.

HKD817 · September 2009

My fiancee and I would prefer cash at our wedding as well..But i agree with the other knotties. You really can't ask for money. What we did was we limited our registry to the things we really really need. We already live together and have most of the home items needed. So most people will be more inclined to just give cash since the registry isn't extensive. It may be a little obvious what we are doing but at the same time we really don't need much for our home. Besides, like was previously said, you really dont have too much time to jam a shower in before the wedding. Most of your guests will probably give you both money. it is the easiest route on such short notice.

Kristin789 · September 2009

Your timeline is totally do-able. You already have the dress and the venue, and you say you're deciding between two caterers this week. Check, check, check. And I don't know what the previous poster meant about "last minute invitations." The earliest invitations for a November 15 wedding go out at the 6-week mark, which for you would be October 10. (see timeline below)This is NOT short notice. This is the EARLIEST date. So there is no need to consider a little memo of any kind to go with the invitation.Q.How far in advance should you send invitations? What is the proper date to ask for the reply card?A. Invitations should go out six weeks before the wedding -- that gives guests plenty of time to clear their schedules for the day and make travel arrangements if they are out-of-towners. It also lets you make the RSVP date a little earlier -- say three weeks before the wedding date -- so you can get a final head count and start making a seating chart (if you'll have one) before the final-week-before-the-wedding crunch begins.

miamilatte · October 2009

Hello everyone, I have been planning my wedding since April 2008 and my fiancee and I still haven't gotten everything together. I was browsing the internet yesterday and came across this wesbite I spent $20 to get her ebook but this has been some of the best information I can receive. I have managed to shave off about 6,000 dollars from my wedding using her tips I would advice everyone on here to check it out. The site is 5000weddings.webs.com

HELP! Your input would be appreciated!

Re: HELP! Your input would be appreciated!

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