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Am I Normal?

amlewis83amlewis83
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Well, maybe I should have thought of a better title. But, in all seriousness...ever since FI became engadged, I am highly afraid of becoming pregnant. Did anyone else go through this? I have never been to keen on the idea of oral contaception, the shot, or what have you. We have always had protected sex, even though I know FI hates it. He loves me and says he understands. I just feel bad. We are very affectionate. We hold hands, kiss, cuddle and yadda yadda. The sex part is lacking due to my crazy fear of becoming PG. Should I be concerned? Was anyone else this way? Just curious.
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Re: Am I Normal?

  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    I've always been terrified of pregnant-ness. 

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    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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  • sucrets4sucrets4 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    Not once we were engaged.When we first started dating, I was all well and good on the pill, but DH was more cautious.  Once he realized I wasn't crazy and looking for a baby daddy, the scientific side kicked in and he was fine with it.But, as I have talked a lot about on here, I highly recommend charting and starting to learn about your body and cycle, especially if you're not into bcps.  Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a great book and has a whole section on how to use it to avoid.  That knowledge + condoms could give you more peace of mind.
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • MissSarah786MissSarah786
    First Comment
    Tim and I use the pill and condoms. I refuse to get pregnant before I decide I want to do so. The only way he would get our of condoms is with blow js and what what in the butt time. The latter does not happen.
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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Curious as to what you have against taking responsibility for contraception. I honestly got less afraid of getting prego once we were engaged. Something about security knowing we were on a higher level of commitment. I still don't WANT to get pregnant now, but I at least feel like we'd be alright if it happened.
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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    what what in the butt timeMy laughing may have woken up FI.

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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    what what in the buttClassic
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  • MissSarah786MissSarah786
    First Comment
    You can not withhold sex because you are scared of getting pregnant. And if you are, I seriously hope your are giving him oral on a regular basis - I'm serious. If you are withholding sex before the marriage, that's bad. Let's face it, men are happier when they get sex. Play with their dinger for a bit, let them touch your tatas and they are happy campers. If you are cutting that out you are looking for serious issues.
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  • mocha beansmocha beans member
    First Comment
    Not really.  I've always been pretty confident in BC and my body's lack of wanting to be pregnant.  There have been more than a few times when I was sure something must have gone wrong and thwarted bc, but everything's always fine.I might pick up that book and give it a shot, see if I can get off the bc.  I think it's just not doing good things with me anymore.  The idea of messing with hormones isn't sitting right with me as much anymore.
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  • amlewis83amlewis83
    First Comment
    The funny thing is, when I was younger and more naive, I wasn't. Even with my last serious bf, prior to FI, there were NUMEROUS times we chanced things. I just feel like I have found the perfect guy for me and I want so much for our life to follow a planned and constant (maybe that is the wrong word) path. I am terrified of becoming pg.
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    Eh, we don't worry about it too much. We don't want to get pregnant yet but if it happened..oh well. Then again, we're not engaged yet so I don't know if that will change but I don't think so..

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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    I would think condoms would be especially important during what what in the butt times.  Not for pregnancy prevention though.

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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    First Comment
    We are less worried now that we're engaged and in a couple months, I'm not going to be too worried at all. Currently, we use 2 methods, but we will just go down to my BC once we're married.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Sarah, dear, I am loving your comments tonight
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  • MissSarah786MissSarah786
    First Comment
    Well, Tim and I are each other's firsts. So I trust that his baby yogurt is not contaminated with anything except the life changing pregnancy virus.
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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    Sarah, you're killin' me tonight!Roxy, I was not aware of the fact that you're not engaged yet.  I thought your badge was meant to reflect a past "you."

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    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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  • EmmaBride2BEmmaBride2B member
    First Comment
    What what in the butt. Tee hee.
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  • MissSarah786MissSarah786
    First Comment
    Was it the "baby yogurt?" There's also creamy italian, pearl jam... it's actually really gross. I'll stop now.
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  • sucrets4sucrets4 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    mocha - I felt like the longer I was on bc, the worse it got.
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    You forgot Man Jam
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  • amlewis83amlewis83
    First Comment
    We def do have our sensual moments. We have sex, with a condom, but not very often. We have both talked about it. It is not taboo. He knows I am scared to get pregnant amd I know he does not love protection. So, it has just resulted in us not doing the full on deed too often.
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    Yup. My badge is to poke fun at those who really act that way. Sarah- You've got all kinds of wit tonight - I love it

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  • MissSarah786MissSarah786
    First Comment
    AM, I think you should find a BC that is right for you - there are tons of options. Don't let the fear be a block in your physical relationship. I am also very scared of getting pregnant, so we use the pill and condoms. I suggest you do something similar, it will ease your mind and improve your sex life to know that you're protected.
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  • MissSarah786MissSarah786
    First Comment
    I hadn't heard Man Jam before, nice. I call them spermy babies and it totally freaks Tim out, he hates it.
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  • ThePinkSuperheroThePinkSuperhero
    First Comment
    AM, I think you should find a BC that is right for you - there are tons of options. Don't let the fear be a block in your physical relationship. Agreed.  There are non-hormonal options that could be right for you.  You could do condoms + diaphragm, sponge, spermicide.  Two BC methods could ease your mind.
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    Sucrets- I know you've talked about this before and even to me. But did you use charting and what not as a pregnancy prevention?

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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    I just don't understand why if you're so terrified of getting pregnant, you're not making sure it doesn't happen from your end? Have you ever tried hormonal BC options?
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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    But did you use charting and what not as a pregnancy prevention?Well I certainly hope she wouldn't plug something that is obviously a big fat fail.

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  • sucrets4sucrets4 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    roxy - we didn't because I didn't know about it until we talked about starting to try.If anything, it's just really awesome to know about your body.
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • sucrets4sucrets4 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    Lol, we used it to know where I was most fertile.  But if you know that, then you can use that knowledge to avoid getting knocked up.  You just need 3 or more months to get to know your body before you rely on it. 
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • EmmaBride2BEmmaBride2B member
    First Comment
    If it's affecting your sex life you really need to talk to someone about getting on a birth control that you're confident in. Find a gyno/obgyn that you really trust and talk over the options. Be frank and explain your issues, you can't say anything they haven't heard before.
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