Pre-wedding Parties

Co-ed Bridal Shower?

Hey All, I just had a question about co-ed bridal showers... has anyone had one? What are they like? I've never heard of one before, but two of my fiance's friends from highschool (both women who I've each met once) are being so sweet and offering to throw us one. They've asked me for a list of our friends to invite (again, so nice!). However, since the shower is being held in the groom's home town (2 and 1/2 hours away from where we live) I'm afraid there are few or our friends that would be able/willing to make that far of a drive, especially on a sunday afternoon. I guess my question is, do I give them a very very small list of people who have a greater chance of coming because they live closer (3-5 maybe)? Or do I give them the full list of mutual friends who are invited to our wedding (25+)? They said "the more, the merrier!" but I don't want them disappointed when most of our friends most likely won't be able to make it. On the other hand I do not want to appear ungrateful or unfriendly by giving them so few names. Is it even my place to worry about it? It's so amazing that they want to do this for us, I just don't know how to respond. Thanks for your help!

Re: Co-ed Bridal Shower?

  • edited December 2011
    Typically a shower is 20-30 people, so if they are asking for a larger group of names, the 25+ would be fine. I'd give them that list and say "I know it's a lot. If you want to cut, let me know. Some of them are kind of far, so we'll see how many RSVP yes." Couples showers are really common in my circle. (We'll take any excuse for a party.) They are usually cook-out type events. Someone will host, and throw some burgers on the grill and fill a cooler with beer. Everyone comes over and brings a gifts, and the games are usually things like bocce ball in the yard. The girls will usually gather around while the bride does the gifts, and the guys are usually standing around the grill. Then everyone gets some food and socializes. It's sort of an un-shower, and works well in my group where our circle is male/female and has been friends for years.
  • edited December 2011
    First you need to talk to the groom. Does he want to attend a shower. If it is coed he must attend. 3-5 guests is a very small guest list for a shower. 25 people who most likely can not make it is a much more reasonable number. Showers often however also include familt so people like ffil and dad and brother ect would be invited just liek moms and mil get invited . In a coed shower all gm get invited just liek for normal showers all bm get invited
  • edited December 2011
    we are having a co-ed shower. I agree with Leah. I am not into the whole foo-foo thing and my mom and MOH's are throwing it. We are having a pig roast with a keg! Woo hoo, now that's what I am talking about :o)
  • beardce722beardce722 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it depends on your group of friends. I went to a co-ed wedding shower hosted by the MOH however the two were college sweethearts and basically everyone in attendence were friends of both the bride and groom. It was a low key cook out with family and friends. The bride also had her own small "women only" shower however I think that the co-ed shower was really great in this situation so that everyone could get together and celebrate (not split into boys/girls). An alternative may be an "engagement party". This celebrates you two as a couple and will most likely be viewed as less "feminine" to all guys involved.
  • KatelobsterKatelobster member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was a bridesmaid for a friend who had a big co-ed shower. It was no different than any summer BBQ, except that the bride and groom were opening presents in the middle of it, and only 1/3 of the guests were watching them. The rest were outside hanging out in the back yard, drinking and standing around the grill. It that sounds good to you, go for it. It was fun, just not girly fun. If it's going to be a small shower, just don't make the men do anything incredibly un-manly, like sit in a circle and be expected to ooh and ahh over gifts.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    I think co-ed parties are great! There is nothing wrong with it! I've been to plenty!That is very nice of them! I do agree with the first post. Just let them know that you dont think they all will come and if 25+ is ok with them. That is a far drive like you said and on a sunday. So just let them know. 3 to 5 people is very little for a bridal shower. So like they told you, the more the merrier!Have fun!
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