Jewish Weddings

VENT: So I went to this wedding last weekend....

Specifically, my cousin's wedding. The pictures, I'm sure, are gorgeous. The wedding "looked" perfect, my cousin is beautiful, her new husband looks like Patrick Dempsey (I kid you, not). So why am I so bothered by the whole event? I feel a little better that DH, my brother, and my FSIL (who is on this board) feel the same way. I feel bad about the reaction I had to the wedding, and I am really confused by why I had such a strong feeling about it.

Basically, it felt like a giant bachelor party with a bride attached. Normally, my family (including distant cousins) is very into family, traditions, and elegance (simplified). Let me put it this way.....13 groomsmen, 7 bridesmaids - only 2 were family (my cousin's brother and SIL - and they appeared the be add-ons, like they didn't fit in). They had a reform ceremony (which is fine), but had a men's tisch (for groomsmen and dad's only - fine, except they moved it without telling my cousin's brother and dad so they missed the whole thing, the groom's dad is MIA) and a women's tisch (I didn't get to talk to my cousin and give my advice because people started singing camp songs when there were still 3 of us (relatives) in line to talk to her). They did havdalah when it was still sunny out so they could have a sunset wedding.

I'm sorry, if you are going to have a Sat. wedding before sunset then own up to it, but don't fake observances by adding ceremonies and traditions and then not doing them properly.

The reception went 3 hours before a slow song was played. I left before cake cutting. I spent the entire reception standing with DH, my brother, and FSIL talking about the wedding!

i feel bad about my reaction to this wedding, but it's just not normal for my family. makes me look forward to my brother/FSILs wedding even more now!

***I apologize if I offended anyone. I was just venting****
The Knot won't share my Bump Siggy, so here's the low-down: 4/27/07 - Got engaged! 8/31/08 - Got married (to my best friend)! 12/30/08 - Got Pregnant! 9/3/09 - Welcome to the world, Elias Solomon! 8/16/10 - Got Pregnant, again! 5/14/11 - Welcome to the world, Talia Hadassah! 1/14/12 - Ready or not, here comes #3 (EDD 9/27/12)

Re: VENT: So I went to this wedding last weekend....

  • edited December 2011
    Why apologize, not everyone will like a wedding and it doesn't seem like they really made the day inviting to all the families and friends involved.  Guess if they were okay with it, that counts.  ;)
  • RachiemooRachiemoo member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I certainly would have been a little confused about the havdalah before sunset thing also.

    btw - your siggy pic of your son is adorable!
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  • edited December 2011
    thanks!
    The Knot won't share my Bump Siggy, so here's the low-down: 4/27/07 - Got engaged! 8/31/08 - Got married (to my best friend)! 12/30/08 - Got Pregnant! 9/3/09 - Welcome to the world, Elias Solomon! 8/16/10 - Got Pregnant, again! 5/14/11 - Welcome to the world, Talia Hadassah! 1/14/12 - Ready or not, here comes #3 (EDD 9/27/12)
  • edited December 2011
    well I just cracked up when I found this...but I'm Shosh's FSIL and I totally agree with her on this.  It was a beautiful ceremony, but it was just so odd! Let's just say my FI and I are glad this is the family event we have to follow.
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  • leoraannaleoraanna member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That sounds odd, I don't know how I would feel about it either! Just seems a little silly, you know?
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  • Jeni35Jeni35 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    As long as the bride and groom were happy...that is all that counts. Maybe the couple was looking for a party moreover than everything traditional? I don't get a Jewish wedding before sunset...even for Reform...that seems like a no no. Were a majority of the guests Jewish? I ask because we are having a small wedding and many of the guests are not Jewish; however we are still doing things traditionally (each step will be explained in program). It doesn't bother me that people are not our religion; it would bother me if I was unable to be true to my beliefs. I have to say one thing though- it's not so nice to mention how you are looking forward to someone else's wedding because it will be so much better. Yes, it sounds like the wedding was "different"; but gossiping about the wedding when you were not offended by it also doesn't seem right. Sorry, I know you just wanted to vent. 
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