Sister Drama (Long! -sorry!)

JonsWifeToBe · October 2009

After much deliberation and parental support, I asked four of my best friends, that have been integral in my relationship with my fiance, to be bridesmaids. We thought that key people would be left out for the sake of tradition just to include our eight siblings - some of who we are not particularly close to. My fiance did ask my older brother (who I am closest to) as well as one of his. My middle sister has been offended that she is not in the wedding party but is taking it in stride. We have included them all in some way (wedding party, usher, readers, etc.)I'm wondering how inconsiderate it would be or crazy looking, if I had all four of our sisters dress in complementary dresses to my wedding party. The BMs are all wearing floor length purple dresses, and I'm thinking of having the sisters in varying shades or prints of purple or even green (accent color) in tea length but not matching each other. A print such as this http://www.davidsbridal.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplayView?storeId=10052&catalogId=10051&categoryId=-49998974&currentIdx=5&subCategory=-49998976|-49998975|-49998974&catentryId=6110570&sort=I don't want them to look like I have eight BMs, but I do want them to feel special and dressed up and like they fit in our family photos, etc. Thoughts?

aerinpegadrak · October 2009

If they're not in the WP, you can't really dictate their attire. You can give them nice corsages or smaller bouquets, and if they ask you what you want them to wear, you can suggest that they wear some form of purple or green. But asking them to buy new clothes when they aren't actually in the wedding is a bit much.

mbcdefg · October 2009

They'll fit in your family photos because they're members of your family. Not because of what they're wearing. Nice thought, but I don't agree with making a non-bridesmaid buy or wear a specific color or style dress. If you're not asking them to be in the wedding party, then you also shouldn't ask them to spend extra money.

baby green bird · October 2009

That is silly. You can not ask people to dress a certain way to make your pictures "match." It doesn't matter if they are your sisters or a friend. It certainly won't make them feel any more special or included by doing this. You just need to live with your decision to not have them be in your wedding, and if they are at piece with it, so should you be.

JonsWifeToBe · October 2009

It was not my original intent either, but it was only because my sisters want to wear something special. So I was thinking of appeasing them by having them wear something complimentary, much like my mother will be as the mother of the bride. But it seems like too matchy-matchy to be considered anything but 8 bridesmaids. I was more worried about "inconsiderate" because my sisters will want to, but I wouldn't want to force his sisters or make them feel left out.I think overall you guys are right that everyone involved just needs to accept the decision as is.

bablingbrooke · October 2009

If you want to dictate their attire, ask them to be BMs. If you don't want them to be BMs, you can't dictate their attire. End of story.

duckie1905 · October 2009

You don't get to pick their attire unless they are BMs. They don't need to compliment or match the WP to fit into family photos. They'll fit in because they are part of your family.

bablingbrooke · October 2009

Putting your first and second posts together, it sounds like drama is brewing that the sisters haven't been asked to be BMs. I would ask them to buy yourself some family peace. Consider this: -You want them in outfits that match the BMs, and they want to wear outfits that match the BMs -They will probably be at all pre-wedding events anyway (or at least invited) -BMs only have to stand up holding flowers for a half hour or so What is the big deal to make them BMs officially? It seems like very little would change, except they'd get the title and be happy.

mbcdefg · October 2009

So in that case, I'd just have four more bridesmaids or just do what you said (everyone has to deal with the decision).

SarahPLiz · October 2009

"but it was only because my sisters want to wear something special." If your sisters want to wear something special, then let them pick out what they want to wear. Tell them your colors and let them work it out amongst themselves. I'm willing to bet they really just want to be BM and are hurt that they don't feel included. Let them pick what they want to wear. If they want to match, then they will. "(wedding party, usher, readers, etc.)" If they are not your BMs, then how are they in your wedding party. That statement confused me. Even if they are ushers or readers, they should still wear whatever they want to, and if its really them that wants to match, then they will match.

trix1223 · October 2009

Welcome back, BGB! How's everything with you?

trix1223 · October 2009

Oh, and ditto the other ladies. The only people who's attire you can dictate are those in your WP. Since you aren't including your sisters, you don't get to tell them what to wear.If they all decide to get together and wear Stepford Sister outfits (why in the name of all that's holy??) they do that all by themselves.

banana468 · October 2009

Would you be OK with them as bridesmaids? If you don't want them as BMs (and please know that uneven wedding parties are A OK) then just say , "Wear anything other than a long white gown and you'll look fantastic!".

TheFutureMrsM-LoungingBeachside · November 2009

If you haven't asked them to be in the wedding party please don't try and suggest dresses/colors. I would suggest getting each sibling a corsage/bout however.We only asked our siblings themselves to be in our wedding party- not their spouses. We aren't particularly close to our sibs-in-law. We, however, are getting corsages for the sisters in law and a bout for th bro in law. We'e also asking all three to do readings (sis's doing readings, bro doing Prayers of the Faithful).

dsouldiva · November 2009

I'm reading your posts that your sisters Want to wear something in keeping with your wedding party and something that sets them apart from the other guests, in which case I would let them pick whatever they want to wear but maybe get them all a matching bracelet/ necklace or earrings or a corsage just for the sisters?

Sister Drama (Long! -sorry!)

Re: Sister Drama (Long! -sorry!)

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