Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Tricky Invitation Wording. HELP!!!

My FI and I are doing DIY invitations. For weeks now, I've searched and searched for proper wording.. but evidently my situation isn't reality?? Here's the deal. My mother is deceased, my father is hosting the wedding, my parents were divorced long before my mother passed. My father remarried after my parents divorced, my stepmother has passed away as well. My mother never remarried after my parents divorced. On the invitation even tho my father remarried and my mother never did, do I still word her name on the invitation as " the late Mrs. Joyce ( insert middle and last name here ) or do I word her name as the late Ms. Joyce ( insert middle and last name here ) ?

Re: Tricky Invitation Wording. HELP!!!

  • I'm sorry for the loss of your mom.  I apologize in advance if this answer hits a painful nerve for you, but technically since your mom and SM are deceased, they can't issue an invitation, so as I understand it, their names would not be on the invitation at all.You could certainly put their names in your programs:  Parents of the Bride:Mr. Dad WintersThe late Mrs. Joyce WintersHope this helps.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • I saw an invitation that said something like (Father's name) requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of his daughter HeidiWintersdaughter of the late Mrs. (Mom's name)to Groom's nameson of....I did find it a little non-traditional but I thought it was a very touching way to include the mom without making it seem like the mom was hosting. 
  • Thanks for the " the daughter of the late " response. I would include his parents names, just as well as he would too, but since day 1 his parents have made snide, rude comments about the cost of the whole affair. My ring, way too expensive ( according to them ).. btw it was only 1500.00 which is so much less than 1 mths salary for my FI, the total cost of our wedding under 6k, which we all know.. pretty inexpensive for a wedding.  Not to mention our rehearsel dinner, hosted by his parents.. a backyard BBQ, so not what I or he wants. but hey we're not paying for it. So how is it our choice to complain? My point here is his parents aren't giving a dime toward the actual wedding. My father is, but they're not.. so we're reluctant to give his parents more than what they deserve. Thanks for the help, tho. If you know of anything else by all means let me know!
  • heidi, I sense that you're pretty upset about his parents not contributing to the wedding, but I really encourage you to keep in mind that these are the people who raised the man you love enough to pledge your life to.Please don't think of excluding them, either by not listing their names or in other little (petty) ways.  Your beloved FI's mom and dad are going to be in your lives for a long, long time.  They will be your children's grandparents.Please don't start off your married life being bitter, because your f/u post sounds pretty mean-spirited to me.  I apologize if I read it wrong.FWIW:  When our son and DIL were married, we had a backyard BBQ for their rehearsal, and they wouldn't have had it any other way, nor would we.  It was calm, casual, and gave everyone a chance to kick back and relax before the "busy-ness" of the next day.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • I'm not bitter by any means, and yes you're reading it the wrong way. If you knew his family situation and how he feels about his own parents. Perhaps it would make more sense. I'm glad that you did a BBQ for your child as you said that's how they wanted and wouldn't have wanted it any other way. However, that's not what my FI nor I want. His parents haven't bothered to ask my FI what he wants. Him and I both know that regardless there has to be respect even when someone else may not be willing to give it. His parents aren't exactly considerate to my FI's needs or wants. So yes it bothers me because I love their son  with all of my heart and then some. I just wish they'd for once stop to think about what he would like for once. Instead of what they'd like. And yes I know this is something in relationships where two worlds collide. I wasn't raised where my parents didn't give me a chance to have my own opinion. My FI and I have talked this through time and time again. The differences in our families, but that's where we know what we do and do not want in our marriage. When you love someone you're supposed to hurt when they hurt, right? That's what it comes down to.
  • Excluding his parents b/c they aren't paying or you are mad at them is immature. One day you will regret that decision.
  • I think you a good candidate for the together with their parents. Also Trix is very wise, please re-read her posts. FWIW we're choosing to have a BBQ rehearsal. We are inviting all of FI's side as they are flying in from England. We wanted a laid back, fun, dinner which allowed people to mingle.
  • Thanks, NCV ! ::walks away blushing::
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • I'm not bitter by any means, and yes you're reading it the wrong way. Nope, pretty sure she isn't.The fact that they are paying means they don't have to ask what your FI wants or what you want.  It gets to be what they want.  You want something different?  Pay for it yourself.
  • If your father is hosting the wedding then I think it's fine to list Mr Father of the briderequests the honor of you presence to the marriage of You daughter of the late Mrs, Mother of the brideTo FiWhatever your reasons for not including your Fi's parents, if they aren't hosting the Wedding they don't go on the invite, however, you could putFison of mr & mrs father of the groom
  • I would keep it simple and write "Together with their parents" MY FI parents are divorced and one is remarried and we're paying for the wedding ourselves so that's why we decided on the wording above.Save the direct mention of the deceased parents for you newspaper announcements.
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