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Keeping things in perspective...

demarcosjddemarcosjd
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in New Jersey - South
This might be a little cheesy but I know that we can all get wrapped up in the small things and wanted to share...I was recently in a wedding and was talking with my other friend who attended as well. Her wedding is coming up in March. We were talking about how nice the wedding was and how we are so happy for them. All of the sudden my friend got really quiet and put her head down. I asked her what was wrong and if she was ok? She started to tell me how she thought her wedding wasn't even going to come close to our friend that just had hers. I felt really bad for her and could tell she wanted to have a fantastic wedding. Then I thought what is a fantastic wedding? I tried to explain to her that her wedding is not going to be like our other friend because it’s her and her FI's day. They are 2 different people with different tastes. This is a day to celebrate them starting their lives together not the center pieces, extra lighting, or chair covers. I think with all of the reality shows out there that some of us feel the need to out do each other and lose site of the true meaning. Don't get me wrong we all have certain details and ideas of how we want our weddings to be but at the end of the day don't drive yourself crazy over the small details and try not to compare your day to anyone else’s or what you see on tv.
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Re: Keeping things in perspective...

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    Rissa933Rissa933
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had the same thing....my friend just got married and there were many times when i thought that she did not measure up to hers she had what seemed to be an unlimited budget...she had broaches and money clips for her favors, over 300 people there and all kinds of other upgrades. I for many times compared my wedding to hers....well her day came and went and you know what I rememebered about her day......her ceremony the vows they said, the sermon the pastor gave, the look on her husbands face, seeing her cry.....all of which costs NOTHING. I can't even remember what the heck I ate and the band that they paid over 2000 for only played about 30-45 minutes of dancing music...tell your friend not to worry at all...
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    miguelhilary2010miguelhilary2010
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    edited December 2011
    I agree completely! I've sat at many friends' weddings in recent years thinking (and sometimes vocalizing), "I don't get it". I don't understand all the fuss and stress and debt that people put themselves through. Its insane to me. On my wedding day, all that matters is that FI shows up, we complete our vows, and everyone has a good time.
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    miss1180miss1180
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ITA! we have a big group of close friends.... one couple had the huge, $50,000 wedding, orchid centerpeices, staged lighting, all that stuff.... mine and DHs wedding was simple, low-key and cost not even 1/2 of the other wedding.   and you know what? the friends that were at both weddings keep telling us that ours was way more fun and they liked ours better.... the other one just felt like too much of a "show", like " look how much money we can spend on a party!"  and in the end, DH and i are are just as married and happy as the other couple... we just have $30,000 more in our pockets :-)
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    angel33284angel33284 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    100% agree, but kind of ironic to be posting this on a website that has turned weddings into a competition. Weddings are special because of the people, not the things. If two people love each other all they really need is a ring, a judge, and a cheap bottle of champagne. Everything else is just window dressing. Just think of all the lavish Hollywood weddings that happen each year. They send hundreds of thousands of dollars to get married and most get divorced in a few years. Can you post a reminder like this every week to keep everyone in perspective?
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    Musicheals71Musicheals71 member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with all PP.  So many brides lose perspective of what getting married truly means.  I cannot wait to finally be married to my soulmate in September!  The rest of the details are just "fluff" to me!  I don't care about trying to impress my guests; I just want to marry my love and then have a great time!
    Anniversary Visit The Nest!Visit The Nest!
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    njgal26njgal26
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well put, demarcosjd-weddings can make us all crazy and it's good to remember what they day is really about.
    BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
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    sbf2sbf2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I totally had this same discussion this weekend with FI. After visiting a cousin who had been married a year ago I totally felt defeated. When she asked me what we were doing for the wedding, I tried to explain to her that we were trying to make it about family and that in the end, the details aren't that important to us. Honestly, its not like I'm going to choose the first band or florist I see...but I'm not going to cry if my centerpieces aren't my dream flowers. For the rest of the weekend she lectured us without end about what we should be doing and planning and all this stuff that totally overwhelmed me. On our way home after freaking out how "behind" we were and how we needed to get on top of this...I realized that it was so stupid. This is our wedding and who cares if people are critical of our choices. I am not going to blow my savings on details that don't matter and that people ignore. It isn't a competition it is just a party to celebrate what matters...LOVE!Thank you for this thread...I am glad that I am not alone with this. Sometimes it feels like people can be so critical about each others weddings...why does it really matter? Did the groom ditch the bride at the alter? No? Then it was a success.
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    Musicheals71Musicheals71 member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Sbf2: Tell your cousin to take a long walk off a short pier! ;-)
    Anniversary Visit The Nest!Visit The Nest!
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