Ok Ladies, Input is welcomed.
I'll try and give a brief overview. I got engaged May 22, 2009. Next day FI's dad dies in plane crash. Nov/Dec. MIL offers to do Bridal Shower. I wasn't going to have one. The guest list is 40 plus w/o my family and she is inviting people who will not be invited to wedding. She wont flex on this nor consider any of our suggestions. We decline after much conversing. This is when we noticed a change in her attitude towards us.
She has asked my FI on 3 occasions of how much my parents are contributing to wedding. We set a budget of our own and are paying for our wedding. I would have been fine going to the Court House he wanted an outside wedding. I compromised. I'm not against it but I thought the money could be used on a downpaymt for a house. She has told me on the phone that she didn't think it was fair that her son was paying for the Wedding. I called her out on her assumption and updated her of the reality and also let her know that it isn't any of her business. Same goes with how much my parents are contributing.
Let's not forget how she so kindly stated that if I was not ready to move out of my parents house and start a life of my own that maybe I wasn't ready to get married.
March-MIL's Mother tells my FI that his mom is sucicial and if he doesn't call her and tell her that he loves her that if she kills herself it will be all his fault and on his shoulders only. (Repeatedly she said this) I was very upset about this! I called his mom the next day to see how she was doing. I got a very snotty/defensive person on the phone. Not sure why. I was told to stop putting on an act. I asked if there was anything I could do to help. I was told to stop being a B****h. I asked if I had done anthing specifically in regards to that. She said she would have to think about it and get back to me. (I still havn't heard back from her) I asked her if she approved of her son's pick? She said "I don't see what he sees in you"
We had a sit down talk with MIL to discuss issues: Boundaries, Assumptions, Mothering, RESPECT! Ist talk not very productive 2nd was better.
So her I have a MIL now who has stated 3 times that she would rather attend the rehearsal vs the ceremony.