First Rabbi Meeting

jmk242 · November 2011

My FH and I are meeting with our Rabbi this week to talk about our wedding.

Any questions that I definitely should ask him?

lachlom · November 2011

What, if any, religious requirements does he require you use in the wedding? Does he require you to cover up(assuming you are wearing strapless or sleeveless) for the chuppah, and if so, to what extent?

Shoshie · November 2011

Ask him to talk you through the service.
Are you planning to exchange rings - if so, there are certain things you'll be saying
Is secular music allowed (if you want it).
Will he be explaining things to your guests along the way or should you create a program?

- We met with our rabbi several times in a counseling capacity, too - so we talked about the wedding only a little - most was spent on the marriage itseld.

jessicabessica · November 2011

Some rabbis have particular requirements about the ketubah--traditional text, Liberman clause, who can witness--so ask about that so you make sure you're on the same page and so you know what kind of ketubah to get.

I agree with PPs generally, too. When you ask the rabbi to talk you through the service, make sure you ask about whether he views something as optional or required when he officiates. I found it really helpful to read through relevant parts of Anita Diamant's The New Jewish Wedding before we talked through the ceremony with our cantor.

bsidebella · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_first-rabbi-meeting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:399Discussion:b97fa615-1dbc-4bea-893c-f2ab231a6d72Post:8c91ec98-a70f-4413-9371-d9fde9debb72">Re: First Rabbi Meeting</a>:
[QUOTE]Some rabbis have particular requirements about the ketubah--traditional text, Liberman clause, who can witness--so ask about that so you make sure you're on the same page and so you know what kind of ketubah to get. I agree with PPs generally, too. When you ask the rabbi to talk you through the service, make sure you ask about whether he views something as optional or required when he officiates. <strong> I found it really helpful to read through relevant parts of Anita Diamant's The New Jewish Wedding before we talked through the ceremony with our cantor.
</strong>Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

This. That book was so incredibly helpful! Definitely pick it up and have a read. It will give you some great ideas, too, about how to make the service more modern and personal (if that's what you're looking for).

boston88 · November 2011

I would ask the rabbi to walk you through what s/he does for a typical ceremony.

I would want to know what traditions s/he feels must be included, and which ones s/he is willing to allow open to interpretation.

We had a more egalitarian approach to our traditions and I wanted to make sure that whomever we used as a rabbi was open to that.

And I agree with everyone else, Anita Diamant's book is extremely helpful!

Good luck!

First Rabbi Meeting

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