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FMIL subbing guests for someone who declined?

SKPMSKPM member
5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
FI and I were stuffing and stamping invitations last weekend and he mentioned that the H of one of his mother's friends would be unable to attend, but that FMIL extended the invitation to another of her girlfriends instead. We sent STDs a while ago, all of these guests in question are OOT, and we addressed invitations by specific names. Is there anything wrong with FMIL inviting and allowing her friend to bring another friend as her "date"? The addedon friend is also married, but I guess FMIL's invitation does not extend to the H. It doesn't bother me, since the net total remains the same, but I wasn't sure if it is rude to essentially B list a friend who didn't make the initial guest list.

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Re: FMIL subbing guests for someone who declined?

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    So, the original guest can't bring her original +1, but wants to bring someone else instead? 

    Normally, people on this board say "no transfers" to this type of thing, but since the guest is OOT, I don't see a problem with letting her bring this other friend. UNLESS it's your FMIL who is dictating who is now everyone else's +1s. If that's the case, hells no. If the GUEST wants to bring someone else, I think it's ok (but really, you COULD say no if you wanted to, since it wasn't a blanket +1), and I don't think it matters that that friend isn't invited with HER husband, since she's the guest of someone. Other people may disagree with that logic, but it sounds right to me.
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  • SKPMSKPM member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    To clarify, FI said that all three of these women, FMIL, invited woman, and added on guest, are all friends together. I'm not sure whether FMIL or invited woman initiated this new arrangement, but they're all in on it and presumably okay with it. Like I said, it doesn't bother me really, I just feel a little awkward for the friend who didn't get her own invitation and will be attending as someone's guest instead. Since their conversations seem to have already occurred, I plan to just let it be, but I wasn't sure whether to say something to FMIL about it or not.

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