Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth

MOB Battle Royale...

So my wedding is still practically 16 months away and my mother is already going mom-zilla on me...is this typical???


She's treating it like it's HER big day instead of FI and mine. She won't stop asking me about her dress and she even asked if  she could do the same hairstyle that I found for myself!! She is getting out of control!!

Help!!! I have tried to tell her to back the heck off (especially since she isn't contributing) but her response is: "it's just as much my day as it is yours"

Any hope that it'll it get better? I really don't want to go bridezilla but i'm not afraid to whip the claws out if necessary..

Re: MOB Battle Royale...

  • I think the best advice I've seen is just to stop talking to her about wedding stuff as much as you can if you feel like she's meddling.  That way she can't tromp on your ideas or make you feel like you're less important.

    I think she will calm down.  Even if she doesn't, it's a small amount of time to deal with crazy compared to the rest of your life with FI.  =)
    Anniversary

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  • Oh dear. Hopefully she's just excited. Really excited. And she'll calm down some. I think Amanda's advice is as good as any.
  • Thanks Stephie and Amanda. It really is wonderful advice! She just kind of brings it up herself. She's one of those people who sees everything the way she wants to see it and how she herself wants things. I don't know. I'm praying she really is excited for me and that she just doesn't know any other way of showing it.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_mob-battle-royale?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:ddda677e-0c98-4d0e-b3cb-69dab9d267ccPost:5dbdee33-5ea0-44bd-a0c9-a7d0b2c3e32f">Re: MOB Battle Royale...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks Stephie and Amanda. It really is wonderful advice! She just kind of brings it up herself. She's one of those people who sees everything the way she wants to see it and how she herself wants things. I don't know.<strong> I'm praying she really is excited for me and that she just doesn't know any other way of showing it.</strong>
    Posted by mpayette[/QUOTE]

    <div>This was my MIL throughout the planning.  She wanted to know every little detail and I really kind of wanted a few things to be a surprise, especially when she started telling me my ideas were bad.  She actually helped out financially with things she thought we just could.not.live.without that I told her were just too expensive, and on other things I had to just tell her to trust me (or get H or BIL to tell her... they are masters at getting her to calm down), and in the end, she loved every minute.  Even told me how happy she was that my budget ideas worked out so well, and no one could even tell how little money I'd spent.</div><div>
    </div><div>She's a complex woman.</div>
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  • I agree with professor science. I am in your exact same situation because my mom is 71 years old and this is the first time she is able to plan a wedding for a daughter....so she has had 50+ years to figure out what she wants her daughters wedding to look like and be like. 

    The best advice that I can give you is what she said about talk to her about wedding planning as much as possible. E-mail her about things or tell her things you've found. Tell her that you know its a special day for her as well, but you'd like her to help you more with your things to make it special for you.
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  • Oh Boy! I agree with Amanda on this one. My Mom's the exact opposite she won't talk about it all. She's still mad at me for moving to Texas and nagging me to move "home". Even though this is now my home.
    Hopefully your Mom is just really excited and maybe she will calm down soon. For your sake I hope that's the case.
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  • The quiet and no details needed is my FMIL...I showed her a picture of the dress that I bought and her reaction was "Oh. That's nice." Soo, i'm trying to give her a better idea of OUR vision and see if she can give me ideas on that as opposed to the Wedgewood vision she has in her head...I pray it works..
  • Sounds like you have the two extreme's of the spectrum.  

    I'm sorry that you're mom is annoying you.  Are you the first daughter getting married? That may account for her comment of it being her day just as much as yours.  I'm the only girl in my generation and my dad repeatedly referred to my wedding as "our party".  

    Since you still have sixteen months, she will probably settle down.  If she doesn't, I know you'll want to snap at her, but just remember that it's this one day and it's not worth alienating your mom over.  I think there's a delicate balance here and I hope you two manage to find it.

    Good luck!
  • We went today (although I have been ridiculously sick all day) to look at MOB dresses and found one that was the perfect color and her style and size that is just being hemmed about a foot at the bottom. So she's backed off now.

    I'm the ONLY child (biologically) she has so I realize it's a big deal for her. She just hovers a whole lot to begin with so it makes it 10 times worse.

    Hopefully, with the dress out of the way, she will calm down. Thank you everyone for your support and advice

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