Wedding Etiquette Forum

donations in lieu of gifts - wording....

Since both of us are in our in our late 30s and I have had a fully stocked home for over 7 years, we are only planning on registering for a few upgrade and gap items.  My FI was born with a cleft pallete and the non-profit group Interplast is near and dear to his heart (they do repair surguries around the world for kids that cannot afford it).  He was lucky enough to have access to top-notch doctors for his 12+ surgeries to correct his birth defect (and now he just has a scar that looks like he was in an accident and got a big gash above his lip).

Here's the question  - on our wedding webiste, I was thinking of  putting something long the lines of -

As many of you may know, NAME was born with a cleft pallete.  He was fortunate to have access to wonderful surgeons and we would like to help extend the opportunity to others so they too can be proud of their smiles on their wedding days.  Please consider a donation to Interplast (weblink here) in honor of our wedding day instead of a traditional gift.

We would also list the 1-2 places we did register.

Thoughts?
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Re: donations in lieu of gifts - wording....

  • As long as it's just on your website, not in your invitations or something, I think that sounds charming!
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  • Just so you don't mess up on your website, it's cleft palate.
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    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
  • I think it's okay as long as you have regular registries too.
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  • IDK.  Your heart's in the right place but I still don't think it's okay to tell guests how to spend (or not spend) their money.  It's different than a registry ('cuz I know that question is coming) since a registry is a wish list of sorts to give guests ideas of your color schemes, decorating style, etc.  Asking them to give money to a certain charity/agency is different because there aren't choices. It's eitehr give or don't give.  At least with a registry it's give off of the registry or give something not on it.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • if your giving people a choice, between the donation and what is on your registries, then what is the problem? your saying "please consider" ... not only giving them one option. i think its a wonderful idea, considering this has affected him personally.

    and in all honesty, if i were you and someone had something negative to say about it, they dont need to e apart of your special day anyway!
  • I think that's a great idea!
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  • I completely missed the last sentence about the registry in the post.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

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