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What,,,,your kids and their girlfriends are coming???

debi1941debi1941 member
First Comment
in Second Weddings
Ok, so I open a response card from my FH cousin...

the envelope was addressed...Mr and Mrs Johnny__________

the respose stated they will happily attend, then on the back named all three of their boys and cooresponding girlfriends names and said a total of 8 would attend,


OMG, how rude!

Well, my FH happily stated that he will call him on Sunday and explain that only him and his wife were invited.....he is also appaulled that he would have the audacity to include 6 additional people on the response card.....

now i am afraid pandora's box will open...he only invited the one cousin he has kept in touch with barely over the years past and none of his other cousins.....I am shaking my head.....ugh!




Has anyone had this happen to them????
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Re: What,,,,your kids and their girlfriends are coming???

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    vb0000vb0000 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow - there is a thread I'm currently following on the invitation board about how to word an invitation and/or RSVP card to indicate that you are not inviting the kids, only the adults, without offending anyone. 

    And it seems from posts like yours it doesn't matter what is on the invitation, people either don't know or ignore the etiquette clues and do what they want to do.....I guess you're lucky they actually alerted you that they were planning to bring them instead of just showing up with them! 

    It also seems to be the consensus that when people do this the best thing is to do what your FI will do, call them and explain why they cannot come and hopefully they'll understand.  I've heard that some guests will then say "oh well then we can't come", trying to let you make them an exception to the rule.  But it's best to stick to your guns and say "I'm so sorry, you'll be missed, really wish you could be there" or something polite like that.  One bride who posted got that response from one of her guests and then later they changed their mind and RSVP'd "yes".

    Good luck!
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    Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    AND the girlfriends!?  Now that's real nerve.
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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow, very nervy!

    There was a bride on my local board who got married in May and every RSVP card was a more shockingly nervy one than the prior. Her family had run amok and were adding multiples to the responses. We had many laughs about it, and in the end, each of them had to make calls, or their moms made calls if more appropriate, to explain the etiquette and finances.

    Our wedding is so small (100), and we've been pretty upfront about how this is going to work with family and friends. I have to address my STD's soon, and will be very careful to name only those invited.

    Good luck.
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    debi1941debi1941 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, here is the update.....

    The more I thought about it, after the initial shock of it, I really am going to leave it alone.....

    The main reason we are having a 'wedding" and didn't go away and get married was because we wanted our friends and families present.....it was very importnat to Andy...so.... his cousin is coming along with his wife...then there three boys and yes girlfriends......

    But since this happenned, we had to send out 4 more invitations.......ppl that werent originally invited because we wanted to keep it smaller...but with these new additions, he decided he better invite the other cousins who weren't invited in the first place....

    so our almost intimate 100 ppl wedduing has turned to prob 140 ppl....

    Really...families rarely get a chance to all be together except for weddings and funerals...so...there you go.....

    hopefully we won't get any more rsvp's like this one...:)


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    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_whatyuor-kids-girlfriends-coming?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:3e628718-8325-4db9-9d1d-638e9e25c076Post:9b85e331-095e-44f5-aab8-22e01d379f0c">Re: What,,,,your kids and their girlfriends are coming???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, here is the update..... The more I thought about it, after the initial shock of it, I really am going to leave it alone..... The main reason we are having a 'wedding" and didn't go away and get married was because we wanted our friends and families present.....it was very importnat to Andy...so.... his cousin is coming along with his wife...then there three boys and yes girlfriends...... But since this happenned, we had to send out 4 more invitations.......ppl that werent originally invited because we wanted to keep it smaller...but with these new additions, he decided he better invite the other cousins who weren't invited in the first place.... so our almost intimate 100 ppl wedduing has turned to prob 140 ppl.... Really...families rarely get a chance to all be together except for weddings and funerals...so...there you go..... hopefully we won't get any more rsvp's like this one...:)
    Posted by debi1941[/QUOTE]

    As long as your venue and your budget can handle it -- go for it!  You're more generous than I.  I have been ruthless with our list to keep it small and have only people we really want there.  Good for you!
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    Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    You're more gracious than I would be in the same situation.  It really was ignorant of them to add all the others.
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    debi1941debi1941 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the "ignorance" believe me...but family is family and budget is already blown....so i guess we are having a big ol' wedding....eeeks!
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    AbbeyS2011AbbeyS2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Lets hope the girlfriends dont have any long lost relatives planning a surprise visit on them that weekend as tagalongs!?!
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    Scarlet Starlet 31Scarlet Starlet 31 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    At my first wedding, we invited my Aunt, Uncle and two cousins.
    They RSVP'd back that they were bringing my cousin's girlfriend, my other cousin's boyfriend, AND the boyfriend's daughter!  I wanted to strangle them.   
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    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_whatyuor-kids-girlfriends-coming?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:3e628718-8325-4db9-9d1d-638e9e25c076Post:9d6281d9-0268-4bd7-9413-deb7406f7c54">Re: What,,,,your kids and their girlfriends are coming???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Lets hope the girlfriends dont have any long lost relatives planning a surprise visit on them that weekend as tagalongs!?!
    Posted by AbbeyS2011[/QUOTE]

    Or babies ... eeek!
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