Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridesmaid dilemna

So I have 8 girls in my wedding party family, 2 friends and my f'iance's 2 sisters.  8 is more than I would have wanted my bridesmaid party to be before thinking 6 or 7, but I wanted to extend the invitation to my f'iance's sisters.  His half sister I did not include because I never see her and don't really know her at all.  Now after his mom said it was cool before (that his half sister was fine with it), she called him and bascially asked him if he would ask me to include her in the bridal party, and that his half sister's feelings "seem" to be hurt.  After before she specifically said it ok!  9 bridesmaids is way too many for me personally!  This has been really stressing my f'iance and I out, because if I don't include her I look the bad guy.  Any advice?

Re: Bridesmaid dilemna

  • If I'm reading your profile correctly, your wedding isn't until June 2013. It's way too early to invite people to be in the weddin party. It will save a lot of drama if you wait until 6-9 months before the wedding. No one can tell you who to include in your wedding party, so of you really don't know the half sister, don't ask her because you feel obligated.
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  • Have you already asked these women to be in the bridal party?  If so, I have no advice.  If you have not asked them, my advice is to ask just 1 or 2 people.  The fewer people in your bridal party, the fewer complications.  H and I each had one attendant.
  • If you haven't asked yet, hold off a little bit. If you have, what's done is done. Many people don't have any issues. Do not ask anyone you don't want to ask because people are making you feel guilty. These ladies should be nearest and dearest to you, no pressures. You didn't want to ask step FSIL so you didn't. No big deal, don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. Good luck!
  • I agree with PP, it is waaay to early. If your already having drama/problems with your weddiing party, it will more than likely get worse. Like Lisa50, I only having my MOH standing up with me, otherwise I would be in the same predicament your in. Good luck and pace yourself!
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  • I have 6 total that I want, but I only asked 5 so far. I would not include her. You want people up there standing with you that you are closest to and that mean a lot to you...you barely know her.

    My advice, find something else for her do in the wedding so she feels included without adding to your already medium sized bridal party. Besides if 8 is a large party to you, don't add more people. She can do a reading at the ceremony, make a speech at the reception or something like that. 
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  • I always get excited when people spell it "dilemna" with the n.  I'm so old school.

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