Just FYI.

mwhitson14 · September 2010

Shane and I seperated yesterday and I'll be filing for divorce sometime this week.

As it has not been announced anywhere but my family and his, please don't say anything on FB at this point.

We had a bad arguement Saturday morning that his mom got involved in and she posted a lot of unflattering things about me on FB, and Shane took her side. It continued until Sunday and got worse and worse, which culminated in me deciding to pack a bag and stay with my parents. When I went to grab my stuff, Shane wasn't there but his mom was, and she started screaming at me and saying she was going to call the cops (I have no idea why). Shane pulled up right as I was pulling out of the drive and tried to get me to roll down the window, but I refused and he started screaming at me as well. It was horrible.

So, I'm done. Last straw.

xyrius · September 2010

That's horrible! I really, really feel for you - and I'm glad you can stay with your mom until things settle down a bit. We're here for you!

opalsky007 · September 2010

Honey, I'm so sorry. You know we're all here if and when you need to talk.

baystateapple · September 2010

Oh, Whit, I'm so sorry that it came down to this. But it sounds like you are definitely making the right decision. He doesn't treat you like a man should treat his wife. You are better off without him.

*HUGS*

kikibaby · September 2010

I'm so sorry

*hugs* Good luck.

waltzingmatilda13 · September 2010

Aww, whit, I'm so sorry. I don't even know what else to say right now. Just try to stay strong. I'll be thinking about you.

LP11509 · September 2010

Oh Whit. I am so sorry. But I'm also really proud of you for doing what you knew was right. A lot of people would have just stayed and continued to be miserable. It takes a lot of courage to do what you did. Hugs to you!!!

FutureMrsTR · September 2010

Oh Whit, I'm so sorry. I'm glad you recognize that you deserve better than that. My thoughts and prayers are with you and you know we're all behind you.

crfische · September 2010

Oh man, Whit. I'm so sorry.

Lots of hugs to you, friend.

MattsPenguin · September 2010

Whit - I know there were issues earlier, and it sounds like the right decision. At least you are getting out early, before it's been too long, you're miserable, and children are involved.

danieliza1127 · September 2010

Wow Whit, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Good for you for protecting yourself and getting out of there. Be strong!

Moneypenny424 · September 2010

Whit, I'm really sorry. He's not standing by you like a husband should and you deserve better. We're here to support you, no matter what you end up deciding to do. xoxo

Stackeye210 · September 2010

I'm sorry Whit! That's awful. I'm glad that you feel comfortable still talking about this here and just know that if you need any non judgemental venting feel free to PM me any time you'd like.

I'm so glad that you have your teaching job and have the whits about you to take care of yourself. It's sad that his mom has always been a lot of the sore spot in the relationship, but as you know - that will never change, and nor will Shane when she continues to cater to him.

Good luck and I know you're going to do fabulous with your new found confidence.

mwhitson14 · September 2010

Thanks. I know it's the right decision but I'm terrified and depressed and stressed. I know I deserve better than this and I just need to keep telling myself that, or I'll change my mind. But the reason why I'm telling you guys (and my family and his) is that the more people that know, the more I'll be held accountable for sticking with it.

AdeleDazeem · September 2010

Oh Whit - I am so sorry. Stay strong. I'm thinking about you and hoping that you start to have some peace soon.

andy71781 · September 2010

Sweetie I am so so so sorry. You are in my thoughts today.

[Deleted User] · September 2010

Wow, I'm really sorry. I don't really know you all that well, but I wanted to say that I hope everything works out for the best. You deserve to be happy.

alixzafiris · September 2010

Oh Whit, I'm so sorry babe. But I'm mega-proud of you for making such a tough decision. Nobody has any right to treat anyone like that, much less their spouse. I'm sure I don't have to reiterate it, but we're here for ya hun.

crfische · September 2010

Whit, buddy, you had more straws in your hand than I could ever have, so I'm glad you finally found the last one.

mwhitson14 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-fyi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e798f50-4a94-4b10-8890-8c6ba143d472Post:337dc557-589b-4f5e-b011-d5639f40238e">Re: Just FYI.</a>:
[QUOTE]Whit, I'm really sorry. <strong>He's not standing by you like a husband should</strong> and you deserve better. We're here to support you, no matter what you end up deciding to do. xoxo
Posted by Moneypenny424[/QUOTE]

This is probably why I'm done. All weekend when his mom was talking about me on FB and called me to scream at me, Shane did nothing and just let her do it, and actually agreed with her and said her actions were totally justified. It broke my heart.

emilyinchile · September 2010

Whit, I'm really sorry to hear that. I seriously admire you though for making such a hard decision and doing the right thing for you. If Shane's going to act like that, you're FAR better off without him.

mwhitson14 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-fyi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e798f50-4a94-4b10-8890-8c6ba143d472Post:9ed16386-98c0-4865-963a-d15dc61d1ba9">Re: Just FYI.</a>:
[QUOTE]Whit, buddy, you had more straws in your hand than I could ever have, so I'm glad you finally found the last one.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

:) It took me longer than it should have. Naive and as cliche as it sounds, I honestly did think he'd realize he needed to grow up once we got married and it would be ok. Obviously, not the case.

baystateapple · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-fyi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e798f50-4a94-4b10-8890-8c6ba143d472Post:71344b41-03d9-4779-8d74-71b24fb38bff">Re: Just FYI.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just FYI. : This is probably why I'm done. All weekend when his mom was talking about me on FB and called me to scream at me, Shane did nothing and just let her do it, and actually agreed with her and said her actions were totally justified. It broke my heart.
Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]

That is terrible.

When a man gets married, he should stand by his wife through thick and thin, not let his mother verbally abuse her. That's awful. I'm so sorry, hon.

missy68 · September 2010

Whit, I'm sorry. I know what it's like to go through that. Take someone with you when you go back to get your stuff - don't go alone.

Birdie1483 · September 2010

I'm so sorry.

You're too nice of a person to have to deal with that crap.

LesPaul · September 2010

Awww, Whit. I'm so, so sorry. Having been through a divorce, it is never easy. We are all here for you. T&P your way.

Stackeye210 · September 2010

I'm glad that you told your family this time. I'm also glad that as much heat as you took the last time from every one for not leaving him that you did for yourself what you needed to do to make sure you tried your hardest.

Just remember that. YOU tried your hardest, but if he isn't trying his hardest it'll never work.

Stay strong, you're obviously a fighter and will get through this just fine. Take the high road.

crfische · September 2010

Can I ask why his mom was going all momzilla on you? She's never seemed to treat you very well.

squirrly · September 2010

Whit, good for you! I'm really sorry it came to this, but I'm super proud of you for standing up for yourself and doing the right thing for you. You deserve MUCH better. Just let us know what you need!

arbolita · September 2010

Wow. I'm really sorry you're going through this Whit, but if he's treating you this way early on in the marriage, it's likely to continue. I'm glad that you know you deserve better.

Moneypenny424 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-fyi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e798f50-4a94-4b10-8890-8c6ba143d472Post:72417921-197e-4466-ad98-c96ed2d6ee90">Re: Just FYI.</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm glad that you told your family this time. <strong>I'm also glad that as much heat as you took the last time from every one for not leaving him that you did for yourself what you needed to do to make sure you tried your hardest. Just remember that. </strong>YOU tried your hardest, but if he isn't trying his hardest it'll never work. Stay strong, you're obviously a fighter and will get through this just fine. Take the high road.
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

I completely agree with this. I don't think you were ready before and you would have felt like you hadn't tried hard enough to make it work. Now you're seeing that it won't change. You can now at least know in your heart that you tried to make it work and he wasn't willing to try.

Just FYI.

Re: Just FYI.

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