An interesting Dear Prudence
For the past two years my husband Harry and I have struggled with infertility. As a teen I dealt with an STD that could have affected my ability to have children. For that reason, and because Harry said his sperm count was fine, I have always blamed myself for our inability to conceive. We've kept our struggle with infertility very quiet. Thankfully, our families have never pressed us about when we're going to have kids. Last week I broke down to my wonderful mother-in-law about how difficult this experience has been. She frowned at me then said, “Harry reversed his vasectomy, then?” I was shocked, because Harry never mentioned having a vasectomy to me, but apparently he had one as a young man. When I spoke to Harry he admitted that he hasn't reversed the vasectomy and that he wasn't sure he wanted kids. He thought if we tried for long enough and never conceived I'd eventually give up trying. He's apologetic, because he never realized how much I blamed myself for our infertility. He has offered to have his vasectomy reversed or to adopt a child to make his lie up to me. My best friend thinks Harry's a sociopath, though, and that I should divorce him for being incredibly cruel. I'm in shock, devastated, have no idea what to do.
I just looked up "sociopath" and here's the definition: "(Noun)—A man who allows his wife to despair that she's infertile when he's secretly had a vasectomy. (Synonym)—Harry."
Thank goodness you spilled to your mother-in-law and she spilled that Harry can never spill his seed. What you should do is run to the best matrimonial lawyer in town. Make an appointment today. You are only two years into this sham marriage and if you end it, perhaps can find someone who is not a pathological liar and manipulator with whom you can have children. The fact that a single man would get a vasectomy, then marry a woman who wanted to have children and let her believe there was something wrong with her makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I don't see how you can share another meal or your bed with this monstrous person. Get out now.
I feel like that advice is super harsh and it's unfair of her to tell this woman to divorce her husband. What do you think of Prudie's advice? Would you divorce your H if he did that to you?