Just skip the favors all together. Why in the world would you tell people that they aren't getting a little present because you gave the money to someone else? This is a total AW move.
We are also choosing to donate money to a cancer research foundation to honor the groom's late mother. Here's what we used:
Dear Guest, In lieu of a traditional favor, we've made a donation in your name to the (foundation name) to honor the mother of the groom (Mother's name). The greatest gift that we can think of is the gift of life and love, and we hope that our contributions to (foundation name) can help to bring those gifts to others.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_donation-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:27Discussion:accdf6ed-b757-4ed2-8098-ca7dd0116cfaPost:886df0ee-0295-49c0-9189-3ea40b002b5c">Re: Donation wording?</a>: [QUOTE]We are also choosing to donate money to a cancer research foundation to honor the groom's late mother. Here's what we used: Dear Guest, In lieu of a traditional favor, we've made a donation in your name to the (foundation name) to honor the mother of the groom (Mother's name). The greatest gift that we can think of is the gift of life and love, and we hope that our contributions to (foundation name) can help to bring those gifts to others. Posted by kmilon01[/QUOTE]
But why do you feel the need to tell everyone that you are donating? This isn't a favor made on their behalf unless you are planning on making an indiviudal donation in each guest's name and then filling out the proper tax forms so they can take the deduction on their taxes.
Go ahead and donate. That's great. Just don't pretend that it is something that it is not.
We're choosing to let the guest know b/c #1 It's our way of honoring his mother and acknowledging her sacrifice to the disease. And #2, it's a small wedding, and everyone there will see the sentimental value in it and hopefully one day make a contribution on their own so that the donation is no longer just for her but also to kick cancer's a**. It's not for everyone, but I know that our donation on behalf of our guest will be viewed by them in a positive manner, and being as how they still feel the loss of his mother, will appreciate it much more then some bubbles or a cookie.
Thanks for your wording suggestion. I am shocked that this is so upsetting to some. Every wedding I've gone to has had charitable donations. I've never heard anyone make any negative comments. People have always spoken about the generous gift given.
Many of my guests & the groom will be veterans (young & old) & we are donating to the Wounded Warriors. I can't imagine anyone would be offended by that.
Though many people on TK don't like donations, I think they are a great idea and your wording was perfect. As a guest, I don't feel like I am entitled to a favor so why would I be mad that you donated money instead of giving me a meaningless gift? I would love it. I'd rather see that your extra money went toward saving a life than a chocolate bar or candy.
"Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are."
Don't forget that an organization can seem harmless (who wouldn't give to blind orphans???), but you may inadverently offend some of your guests. For example, I don't support salvation army because it is a religious organization with anti-gay practices. You WILL manage to offend at least one guest, I assure you.
Re: Donation wording?
Donations at weddings are extremely frowned upon on TK, just to let you know. Read the sticky at the top of the board.
"Instead of giving you favors, I donated to a charity, instead!"
It's straight to the point and the guests will understand.
AKA GoodLuckBear14
Dear Guest,
In lieu of a traditional favor, we've made a donation in your name to the (foundation name) to honor the mother of the groom (Mother's name). The greatest gift that we can think of is the gift of life and love, and we hope that our contributions to (foundation name) can help to bring those gifts to others.
[QUOTE]We are also choosing to donate money to a cancer research foundation to honor the groom's late mother. Here's what we used: Dear Guest, In lieu of a traditional favor, we've made a donation in your name to the (foundation name) to honor the mother of the groom (Mother's name). The greatest gift that we can think of is the gift of life and love, and we hope that our contributions to (foundation name) can help to bring those gifts to others.
Posted by kmilon01[/QUOTE]
But why do you feel the need to tell everyone that you are donating? This isn't a favor made on their behalf unless you are planning on making an indiviudal donation in each guest's name and then filling out the proper tax forms so they can take the deduction on their taxes.
Go ahead and donate. That's great. Just don't pretend that it is something that it is not.
AKA GoodLuckBear14
We're choosing to let the guest know b/c #1 It's our way of honoring his mother and acknowledging her sacrifice to the disease. And #2, it's a small wedding, and everyone there will see the sentimental value in it and hopefully one day make a contribution on their own so that the donation is no longer just for her but also to kick cancer's a**. It's not for everyone, but I know that our donation on behalf of our guest will be viewed by them in a positive manner, and being as how they still feel the loss of his mother, will appreciate it much more then some bubbles or a cookie.
Many of my guests & the groom will be veterans (young & old) & we are donating to the Wounded Warriors. I can't imagine anyone would be offended by that.
Though many people on TK don't like donations, I think they are a great idea and your wording was perfect. As a guest, I don't feel like I am entitled to a favor so why would I be mad that you donated money instead of giving me a meaningless gift? I would love it. I'd rather see that your extra money went toward saving a life than a chocolate bar or candy.
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