Just Engaged and Proposals

i need to vent

Okay so, I got engaged on Saturday and my mom was the first person I told. We're pretty close and she told me she was really excited but when I went to her house yesterday she didn't ask to see the ring or ask me anything about my plans for the wedding. The date we're thinking about isn't for another two years so it's okay to not talk about everything right now but my wedding could've been next month and she'd have no idea because she didn't ask. Am I overreacting? I live 90 miles away and I don't really get to see her that much so I thought yesterday would've been the perfect time to start talking about things. FI says I'm over thinking it and I probably am but I was really excited to start talking about things. What do you guys think?

Re: i need to vent

  • Yes, you are overreacting and over thinking.   It does suck that you're mom wasn't as excited as you wanted her to be but, unfortunately, that's life.  Give your mom time and don't constantly bring up your wedding plans (not saying that you are), let her ask you the questions.  Sorry you didn't get the reaction you were looking for.
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  • I do find it odd that she didn't even ask to see the ring or ask when you planned on getting married. That doesn't require a lot of excitement.
  • I'm also having a two year engagement and got the same reaction from family. I would give it a little while. She probably figures the wedding is so far away and you have time to plan. I understand how you feel, but it sounds like you are overreacting, just a little. Spend some more time on the Knot, on your local board especially, and talk to friends who are interested. If your wedding was a month away, I bet it would be completely different.
    Also, I have no idea about your financial situation or your moms, but maybe she isn't sure about if, or how much, she can contribute. Money can be a touchy subject. Give it a little bit of time and see what happens.
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  • Congrats and welcome to the board but please remember...only you are the most excited about your wedding.
  • The same thing happened with me. My mom didn't seem at all interested when I first got engaged - didn't ask to see my ring, didn't care about the date, etc. I just let it go - there wasn't anything I could do to make her excited about my wedding. But, when we really got into planning, she jumped right in and was incredibly excited and helpful.

    Just give it time...and if she doesn't change, just remember that your wedding isn't as exciting to anyone else as it is to you.
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  • thank you guys so much. i'll just let it go for now and wait until she's ready to talk about it
  • NZMelNZMel member
    First Comment
    My sister did the same with me.  My lovely man proposed to me two weeks ago.  We had a family thing a week later.  My sister did not say a thing to us about the wedding (which is in 6 months) and she did not ask to see my ring.  She is getting married in October and I wonder if she feels I am stealing her thunder???  If she thinks that it is not intended, I just want to marry my one, have a party and make babies!!
  • Congratulations!
    My FI's family did the same thing. At every family function everyone always asked when he was going to propose and although his parents and granparents were so very happyand excited, the rest didnt seem to care. But thats the way they are! I suggest to be happily engaged and planning one of the most special days of your life.
    Anniversary
  • Getting engaged is just like every other event in your life in that people are going to have different levels of excitement and will express it in different ways. My mom was like that too. She just was like, "Oh okay. Congrats. How was work?" But I found out from her friends that she's been researching honeymoons and wedding traditions like crazy and won't stop talking about it. And she never asked to see my ring either! Not everyone is going to act like they show in the movies. Focus on your excitement to spend your life with your FI and don't focus on anyone else's reaction.
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