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Names on our invitations: Your thoughts?

txmom21txmom21
First Comment
in Second Weddings
Background: I have not used my first name at all in my adult life (I hate to be called by it for any reason), and FI hates his middle name. When I got divorced, I didn't go back to my maiden name because of my daughter and the fact that I had my married name for almost 17 years at that point, but I don't really want my ex-husband's name on our invitations.

Would it look strange to just have our first names on the invitations? We are hosting, and there will be no mention of families.
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Re: Names on our invitations: Your thoughts?

  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Write your invitations the way that will make you happy. Unless you are going super formal, it is just not that big of a deal to go by the name everyone knows you as.  So if you are Muffy to everybody, and NO ONE would know you as Mildred, I vote for Muffy. I know the ex-husband's last name seems awkward, but if its the name you use, regardless of how it feels, it IS your name.  So unless you are going SO informal that the invite will just say Muffy and Biff invite you to their wedding, I think you have to use it.  My personal concession to that issue was to call myself as Donna Maidenname ExH'slastname on the invite. ~Donna
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  • KSDHJH10KSDHJH10
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I SAY USE YOUR CURRENT LEGAL NAME. LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, IT IS THE LAST TIME YOU WILL USE YOUR EX'S NAME! ANOTHER REASON TO CELEBRATE!
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  • txmom21txmom21
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    "My personal concession to that issue was to call myself as Donna Maidenname ExH'slastname on the invite."

    Donna,
    I had thought about that, but I haven't used my maiden name in 19 years. Would it look odd to have Colleen Maidenname ExH'slastname and Greg FI'slastname (no middle name)?

    It would make my name Colleen Xxxxxx Xxxxxxx and Greg Xxxxx, so mine would be tons longer. UGH! Confusion!
    ~Colleen
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  • kastran78kastran78 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Even though I haven't changed my name back to my maiden name, I decided to use the maiden name on my invitations.  I couldn't bare to see my ex's name on an invitation for a happy new chapter in my life.
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Can you just do Greg and Colleen?  I think Colleen 2 more names and Greg one more name is fine as well.  Honestly, the invitation's wording,  beauty, font, color, layout, blah blah blah matters ONLY TO YOU.  Your guests?  They care about the who, what, when, where, and how.  Make it make sense to them.   ~Donna
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  • txmom21txmom21
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_names-invitations-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:5e11fdaf-762f-4a0e-8b6a-6d4ec36813c2Post:8827cd66-01ac-4622-a29b-0c8867225502">Re: Names on our invitations: Your thoughts?</a>:
    [QUOTE] Honestly, the invitation's wording,  beauty, font, color, layout, blah blah blah matters ONLY TO YOU.  Your guests?  They care about the who, what, when, where, and how.  Make it make sense to them.   ~Donna
    Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]

    I need to memorize this and remind myself of it often. I just get so caught up in what's "right" that I forget we're the only ones who will remember what the invitation looked like when it's all said and done. Thanks, Donna!
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  • NYHarleyBrideNYHarleyBride
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I did what Donna suggests. I used my firstname, maidenname, exlastname. I don't think it matters whether or not he uses his middle name.
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  • thealphabridethealphabride
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hi there, chiming in late, don't get here as often as I'd like to, but wanted to respond.
    I have been divorced for almost 13 years and kept his name for my son's sake. All my friends still introduce me and refer to me by my maiden last name, so funny.
    But many folks know me only by my married last name.
    I'm using my first,maiden and current last name (my former husband's, but also my son's last name) I'm not worried about it in the least. It doesn't really bother me. I'm more worried that my new husband and I will have the same initials when I change my name to his (S.H.)

    Together with their families....
    my first, maiden, last
    and
    Fi first, middle, last
    Invite you....... blah blah blah....
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  • deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hi, chiming in late too.  I was going to say that using your first names is fine in my opinion.  Especially if you're going to be having a less formal wedding.  I would not think it weird at all to get an invite from "First name and First name".  Congrats and happy planning!
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  • BornAhouseCatBornAhouseCat
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_names-invitations-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:5e11fdaf-762f-4a0e-8b6a-6d4ec36813c2Post:14fb0695-b97d-40a8-86ba-4b8b94bbe7d1">Re: Names on our invitations: Your thoughts?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Even though I haven't changed my name back to my maiden name, I decided to use the maiden name on my invitations.  I couldn't bare to see my ex's name on an invitation for a happy new chapter in my life.
    Posted by kastran78[/QUOTE]

    This is exactly how I feel.  And I know my fiance would not want to see the ex's name on his wedding invitations. 
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  • rosbabiesrosbabies member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Agreed - I came here to see if anyone has done the same thing that I plan to do - just our first names... my FI would not appreciate seeing my ex's name on OUR wedding invitations, that's for sure. And we are having the most basic wedding and reception ever, so formality isn't high on my list of priorities. Thanks for affirming that, ladies! ;)
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