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Using facebook to air your dirty laundry

rhodesignrhodesign
First Comment
in Snarky Brides
How many of you see this?
A friend just changed her relationship status to 'it's complicated' and she's married. I have seen this so many times and it's just so inappropriate. Don't you think that if you were having issues with your H/W/SO that you wouldn't want to announce it to the world but instead maybe, I don't know, work on them in private?

I understand changing it if you 'upgrade' (engaged to married), but the other way around just seems weird to me unless it's final, in which case you can take it off altogether. Otherwise you're basically just advertising that there's trouble in the water.

Is this coherent? Can I get a witness?
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Re: Using facebook to air your dirty laundry

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    kimheartsscottkimheartsscott member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Dude, TOTALLY.  That shiit drives me bonkers.
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    nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    Yea, "it's complicated" is just messy.

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    jasmineh7777jasmineh7777
    First Comment
    If it's that complicated, then it should remain private.
     I hope they don't have teenage kids.
     "Mom changed her status to It's Complicated. Who are we going to live with?!"
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    brilibby4brilibby4 member
    First Comment
    edited November 2010
    I have been noticing the same thing lately!  I see couples publicly fighting on each other's walls, posting sad/angry statuses that receive emotional comments and responses, and the whole "its complicated" thing you talked about.  I even saw a "separated" one the other day.  Personally, I just don't understand why anyone would want the whole world to know that information!  If fi and I were having a hard time I would be embarrassed for (most) people to find out, there is no way I would volunteer that info to anyone who wanted to stumble upon my page!
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    rhodesignrhodesign
    First Comment
    exactly!
    J's cousin did that earlier this year. I called his mom to ask if something was up, and she didn't even know/hear about it! They changed it back but still...way to screw with people and be all weird and vague, etc. I mean really...whose relationship isn't complicated in some form, right? But even if you're on the brink of divorce...keep that sh!t under-wraps until you can definitively say so. sheesh.
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    KaylaSue19KaylaSue19
    First Comment
    I completely agree. I have never understood the "it's complicated" thing. It's like FB is just asking for trouble with that one. I can't imagine that any relationship has had a positive outcome from that.
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    reilsreils member
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    I don't know why 'it's complicated' is even an option on FB. I don't get it. Why would you want everyone to know that?

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    jasmineh7777jasmineh7777
    First Comment
    I want more interesting options.
     "Just found out husband is actually a robot."
    things along that line.
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    brilibby4brilibby4 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_using-facebook-air-dirty-laundry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:16769abd-9139-44ff-94e3-fd2a6218d7a7Post:c613460e-4d5a-4d1a-bbe2-2d0bf179579f">Re: Using facebook to air your dirty laundry</a>:
    [QUOTE]I want more interesting options.  "Just found out husband is actually a robot." things along that line.
    Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]


    HAHA I like this idea.
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    polichikpolichik member
    First Comment
    Two of my best friends, who have been together for almost seven years, changed their statuses to "Single." It was all a big joke to point out how ridiculous that whole concept is, but I almost had a heart attack. NOT COOL.
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    Planning!.....Married!
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    TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    Agreed. I mean, she IS married. Unless she's swinging or something. Didn't they used to have "in an open marriage" as one of the options? 
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    jasmineh7777jasmineh7777
    First Comment
    How about "in an exclusive relationship with an inanimate object"?
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    jasmineh7777jasmineh7777
    First Comment
    "In a complicated relationship with a mail order bride."

    "Not in a relationship due to vapid narcissism"
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    kimheartsscottkimheartsscott member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Mery, I'm pretty sure it was/is "in an open relationship"
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    playtntsbpg30playtntsbpg30 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    I have a "friend" who got married years ago, and is always changing her status to "it's complicated", "Married" back to "it's complicated"
    She does this at least once a month or something like that. I haven't really spoke to her in years, we use to work together. But I understand what you mean.
    When my relationship was on the rocks I kept it "engaged" until I walked out the door and it was final that we weren't together. Then I just put "single"
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    TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_using-facebook-air-dirty-laundry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:16769abd-9139-44ff-94e3-fd2a6218d7a7Post:869a3077-710f-4ad6-95bf-c5f6acf802ab">Re: Using facebook to air your dirty laundry</a>:
    [QUOTE]Mery, I'm pretty sure it was/is "in an open relationship"
    Posted by kimheartsscott[/QUOTE]

    <div>When I was young I had "in an open relationship" with one of my gay male friends as my status. He was sad when I got into a real relationship. </div>
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    vegasgroomvegasgroom mod
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    I wonder if Facebook starts showing you divorce attorney advertisements if you go from married to its complicated LOL.  I see wedding convention, invite, planning, etc. when I went from single to engaged.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


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    AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited November 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_using-facebook-air-dirty-laundry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:16769abd-9139-44ff-94e3-fd2a6218d7a7Post:5f1992d8-8115-4dce-a159-85e103ce66f4">Re: Using facebook to air your dirty laundry</a>:
    [QUOTE]Two of my best friends, who have been together for almost seven years, changed their statuses to "Single." It was all a big joke to point out how ridiculous that whole concept is, but I almost had a heart attack. NOT COOL.
    Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]


    Yeah, my ex and I did that when we'd been together for about five years, as an April Fools joke.  Our friends were pissed.  They didn't take it well when we broke up for real a little more than a year later, either, lol.  But they got over it :)
    panther
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    ravenrayravenray member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited November 2010
    As reported by my friend on FB actually

    Why do people put their relationship status as " its complicated "?? We all know that means ur single but still doing ur ex.. why advertise that???

    She has a point for non married people....and quite possibly for married people too?

    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

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    Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited November 2010
    I feel bad for my friends who have their break-ups aired all over facebook. And by "feel bad" I really mean I don't feel bad at all. Did we learn nothing from aol profiles? If you are having relationship issues, save it until it's not complicated.

    Too many times I watch friends who are dating go back and forth with crappy sappy poetry, who's really shmoopie, who missed who more that day, bad lyrics to terrible love songs, updates like "had a grate day with teh bf! <3 sweet dreams baby!!!!111"

    And then all of  sudden, the Taylor Swift lyrics change from "Love Song" to "Forever & Always" ...

    And that's when you brace yourself for the inevitable crappy emo poetry, drunk status updates... Lyrics to Taylor Swift's "Picture to Burn."
    And the best is when people of the opposite sex (or same!) pop out of the woodwork, "Hey, too bad about the break-up, give me a call, we should hang out and catch up!"


    And then they go back to being in a relationship together.

    And, yes, I'm basing this completely and accurately off of a recent break-up of two friends of mine on facebook. Well, and others, but this break-up was recent. It lasted all of two days.


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    kathrynhabibtikathrynhabibti member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Oh god I'm with you. Makes me scratch my head. Or the ones who make more than one pointed remark about not having heard from their guy, who as it turns out is doing some thinking about the relationship - and I can't imagine seeing stuff like that is really helping their case. I would be upset if I saw that on FI's wall and I know he would too.

    Another thing that drives me batty? Girls who are "engaged" to each other. I of course have nothing against two girls actually being engaged but straight, (usually) single girls who are just best friends and think it's cute to say they're "engaged"? Huge eyeroll.
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    JenGin74JenGin74 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I hate that shiit so much. I never comment on any of it because I figure it's just a cry for attention and I don't feed drama queens.

    I freely admit that I'll update my status to complain about my craptastic job, but if Tim and I have an argument, the only people that will ever know about it are the two of us (maybe you guys if it's really bad and I need to vent).

    I also hate when people update their status with a vague, cryptic message that just screams "ask me what's wrong".
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    vlizzvlizz member
    First Comment
    I know what you guys mean.. its crazy!!       The only time I've ever though any of that crap was funny, is when my little brother(who to this day has never been in a relationship) posted "its complicated" for about a week.
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    BecW2beBecW2be
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    You people are speaking my language! I absolutely cannot stand it! I've been so tempted to respond to the "why do people hurt other people so?" and "I just don't understand people", etc. with "They probably do it so they can read passive-aggressive FB statuses about themselves."

    This whole thread makes me want to change my FB status to some P-A status about P-A statuses. Like looking at yourself in a mirror in a mirror. :)
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    SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    First Comment
    I have friends who announced their divorce on FB. First the H changed his status. Then the wife commented, saying "Ok, I guess you made up your mind" and changed her status. Then he went on to explain the whole situation to everyone that commented. TACKY! His wife was more my friend, and I really didn't like him to begin with. Now I can't stand him. We have mutual friends, but he rarely shows up at their parties anymore, thank goodness. 
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_using-facebook-air-dirty-laundry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:16769abd-9139-44ff-94e3-fd2a6218d7a7Post:32944014-f5d8-4cea-9ad0-3351862979a8">Re: Using facebook to air your dirty laundry</a>:
    [QUOTE] Another thing that drives me batty? Girls who are "engaged" to each other. I of course have nothing against two girls actually being engaged but straight, (usually) single girls who are just best friends and think it's cute to say they're "engaged"? Huge eyeroll.
    Posted by kathrynhabibti[/QUOTE]

    A girl I was good friends with in high school did this, and it said engaged when I first friended her. I honestly thought she was now a lesbian and was shocked, seeing as how she ran through guys in school. But her pics had her all cozy with a guy so I was confused.
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    marissa_clairemarissa_claire member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_using-facebook-air-dirty-laundry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:16769abd-9139-44ff-94e3-fd2a6218d7a7Post:2175316c-5cd1-4b34-aed0-cabe82779f43">Re: Using facebook to air your dirty laundry</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wonder if Facebook starts showing you divorce attorney advertisements if you go from married to its complicated LOL.  I see wedding convention, invite, planning, etc. when I went from single to engaged.
    Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Haha... my friend and I did the joke marriage just to see what the advertisements were.  This was when I had recently broken up and had all these sleazy singles ads, and sure enough, we got a lot of real estate ads.

    </div>
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    allisong23allisong23 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_using-facebook-air-dirty-laundry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:16769abd-9139-44ff-94e3-fd2a6218d7a7Post:8db3f164-a004-42b8-8825-a105188aaea3">Re: Using facebook to air your dirty laundry</a>:
    [QUOTE]I hate that shiit so much. I never comment on any of it because I figure it's just a cry for attention and I don't feed drama queens. I freely admit that I'll update my status to complain about my craptastic job, but if Tim and I have an argument, the only people that will ever know about it are the two of us (maybe you guys if it's really bad and I need to vent). <strong>I also hate when people update their status with a vague, cryptic message that just screams "ask me what's wrong".</strong>
    Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

    Ahh, vaguebooking. I have a friend that does it. Then when a ton of people respond, she posts back that she will message some of them privately, while the others are left to wonder what happenned.. Seriously?
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    JenGin74JenGin74 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_using-facebook-air-dirty-laundry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:16769abd-9139-44ff-94e3-fd2a6218d7a7Post:21fd2170-00e5-479e-9510-6e6df0c6e91f">Re: Using facebook to air your dirty laundry</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Using facebook to air your dirty laundry : Ahh, vaguebooking. I have a friend that does it. Then when a ton of people respond, she posts back that she will message some of them privately, while the others are left to wonder what happenned.. Seriously?
    Posted by allisong23[/QUOTE]


    I've seen that more times than I care to admit. I've recently started just posting random shiit when I see things like that. I also have to constantly stop myself from correcting people's spelling and grammar.
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    BecW2beBecW2be
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I have developed a heavy de-friend finger for these assholes. I also hate when people try to sell shiit via FB status. A girl I know recently started pimping her new Beachbody products. After 3 "Live longer! Save your fat ass! Ask me how!!!" statuses in an hour I defriended her faster than a P90X failure hits the donut shop.
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