advice needed

samantha1008 · August 2010

So I am having an evening wedding does that automatically make it where I have to serve a full meal? Or can I get away with a little buffet?

mica178 · August 2010

If your reception falls during a meal time, then yes, you need to provide a meal. So if you have a 6pm ceremony and 7pm reception, you need to serve dinner. A dinner buffet is fine (if that's your budget). If your evening reception is later (like at 8 or 9), you can serve less, but make sure that you mention that it is a cocktail reception or cake and punch reception so your guests know to eat dinner beforehand.

frogurt814 · August 2010

One of our friends had a Friday wedding (only immediate family was invited to the ceremony) followed by an appetizer only reception at 7 p.m. They stated on the invite that only appetizers would be served. I made sure we ate dinner before we went, and they ended up having tons and tons of appetizers so there was no need for us to have eaten dinner before we came. I felt bad then that I didn't get to enjoy their food.

melissamc2 · August 2010

There is no "have" to with any time of day, regardless of what people want to think. Just as guests are not "required" to give you a gift, you are not "required" to stuff them with a "full meal." I realize that my opinion on this is in the very small minority on this site, however, so you may want to take my answer as just the "opposing view."

I've never really understood why people get so worked up over one single meal. If you make it clear that it's an appetizer, cake, and cocktail reception (or whatever you choose to have), then you're good to go. If people are coming for the meal, they might as well not be there at all as far as I'm concerned. I have never, once, based whether or not I attend a wedding, or stay for the entire reception, on the amount of food offered.

A buffet of any kind indicates that people won't pass out or die from starvation for a few hours.

kaesha · August 2010

Having been to two weddings where a group of us have left early because we were starving, I think any social gathering over an extended period of time obligates that you ensure guests don't starve. I wouldn't invite people over for a party and not have something to satisfy them. I would be so embarassed if my guests walked away hungry! But then, I've spent a lot of time living in cultures where hosting is very important, so that plays a huge part in my opinion.

So, having said that, if you're clear about the kind of reception that you're having (cake & punch, cocktail, etc), and you allow time for guests to get a proper meal, you don't have to do a full meal.

melissamc2 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:ec6c04a5-4a24-4b54-bf80-c5310d370b0cPost:157d9e0d-f8a2-48cd-a1be-0bdb28085aa5">Re: advice needed</a>:
[QUOTE]Having been to two weddings where a group of us have left early because we were starving, I think any social gathering over an extended period of time obligates that you ensure guests don't starve. I wouldn't invite people over for a party and not have something to satisfy them. I would be so embarassed if my guests walked away hungry! But then, I've spent a lot of time living in cultures where hosting is very important, so that plays a huge part in my opinion. So, having said that, if you're clear about the kind of reception that you're having (cake & punch, cocktail, etc), and you allow time for guests to get a proper meal, you don't have to do a full meal.
Posted by kaesha[/QUOTE]

I completely understand your point, and I'm not advocating NOT feeding people, I just think it's this idea of a full sit down meal that has gotten blown out of proportion. I actually PREFER events/weddings with much lighter/smaller fare that is something you can have while socializing.

I feel like there is a huge space between "not enough" and "providing something you'd go to a restaurant to order for a family dinner." Being a good host still leaves a lot of room to not make it all or nothing. It's not rude to take a different approach if it is still tasteful and complimentary to the event.

kaesha · August 2010

Agreed! We're totally on the same page!

melissamc2 · August 2010

On a side note, we attended a wedding where the cake was never served.

I LOVE wedding cake and would have given up the meal for a piece! Haha.

samantha1008 · August 2010

Really a wedding without a cake?? Ha-ha thats a new one for me! Thanks for ya'lls advice!

kaesha · August 2010

Weird! Did they have a cake but just refuse to serve it? Or did they not have one at all?

melissamc2 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:ec6c04a5-4a24-4b54-bf80-c5310d370b0cPost:27015d62-1e2d-48b8-a58f-b3cb93a5184b">Re: advice needed</a>:
[QUOTE]Weird! Did they have a cake but just refuse to serve it? Or did they not have one at all?
Posted by kaesha[/QUOTE]

There was a big set up of "cake," but what we have all decided is that it was just a dummy cake.

It was odd! We all kept waiting, but by 11pm, or so, we gave up. :(

advice needed

Re: advice needed

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