Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

wedding showers=wedding invitation?

There are quite a few people that both my mother and future mother-in-law would like to invite to their respective showers for us, whom they know well and would love to come celebrate with us, but whom my fiance and I do not know very well. We were not planning to invite these people to the wedding, and in fact just simply cannot afford to expand our guest list by the 50 or so people they have in mind. The mothers did not say to add these people to the guest list, but are good enough friends with them that they wouuld like them to be invited to the showers. So is it acceptable to invite these people to a wedding shower but not to the wedding?

Re: wedding showers=wedding invitation?

  • No, it's not acceptable to invite anyone to a shower who isn't a wedding guest, it looks horribly greedy.  You need to tell both your mother and FMIL that if they insist on inviting people to the shower who aren't on the wedding guest list, you'll simply have to decline the shower altogether.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • No, you can't do this.  These nice ladies will bring you gifts because that is the point of a shower.  And they will expect invites to the wedding because that is proper etiquette.  Also, showers are not even supposed to be hosted by family members.
  • Ditto pps.  The only time this is okay is when it's a work shower.
  • Can your moms have these ladies over for a luncheon after the wedding to celebrate instead of having them at the shower?  And while I know standard rules say moms/family cannot throw your shower, I've never seen one thrown by anyone but the moms... maybe its a regional thing?? idk...

    Im sure your moms are just happy and want to "show you off" but esp with an older, more mature crowd they will most likely frown on not being invited to the wedding after the shower. 
    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards