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May 2011 Weddings

Relationships w/SIL's/FSIL's?

I'm sort of stealing this from the Moms&Maids board. I grew up w/one younger brother, who is almost five years younger than me. The closest thing I ever had to sisters was my sorority sisters HA! 

FI's brother is dating and now will be having a child w/a girl who may eventually be my SIL, and if nothing else I'll be her childs' aunt.  She is 21 (I'm 27) and we really don't have much in common. 

I'm just curious to know what kind of relationships others have with their SIL's or FSIL's? Do you get along? Do you hang out? FI and I go out rarely w/FBIL and the gf but I've never hung out w/her alone.

Re: Relationships w/SIL's/FSIL's?

  • my brother and I live in different towns, so my SIL and I don't really hang out all the time.  But I have to say we have a great time together when we are around each other.   We have the same age separation as you are your FSIL except I am the younger one.  One thing I will say, I think our relationship is MUCH better now than it was when I was 21 and it was ten times better than then when I was 17 and they started dating.  21 vs 27 is a much bigger difference then 25 vs 31 and gets closer the older you get if that makes sense. 

    My brother and I are also super close so that could help make a difference too
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  • My FI and I hung out with his sister and her husband a couple weeks ago. They had us over for dinner once. I don't really know them well because they are about 13 years older than me and work 9-5 jobs when I work nights.
  • My FI has 2 sisters. One is 6 months younger than I am and one of my best friends. The other is 6 years younger and I feel like she's my sister too. We're good friends, but it's a different relationship because of the age difference. I feel like I've watched her grow up (she was 14 when we started dating and is now 22), but the other sister was in college with us and we are really close to both her and her husband.

    FI's SIL and I are kind of close, but not as close as we used to be. She has 2 kids and is kind of nuts about being a mom. She won't let them miss the "nap schedule" which is causing them not to come to our RD (they're FG and RB). Annoying, but whatever. Not a battle worth fighting.

    Hopefully you can cultivate a relationship with the FBIL's gf, but the 6 year gap could be hard to close. If you have kids soon, that would give you something in common..
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  • In Response to Re: Relationships w/SIL's/FSIL's?:
    my brother and I live in different towns, so my SIL and I don't really hang out all the time.  But I have to say we have a great time together when we are around each other.   We have the same age separation as you are your FSIL except I am the younger one.  One thing I will say, I think our relationship is MUCH better now than it was when I was 21 and it was ten times better than then when I was 17 and they started dating.  21 vs 27 is a much bigger difference then 25 vs 31 and gets closer the older you get if that makes sense.  My brother and I are also super close so that could help make a difference too
    Posted by aggiebug
    yeah, I could see the getting closer as you grow older thing--that has definetly changed my relationship w/my brother. With FBIL and his gf, it's just odd because FI and I just have really different lives than them, and now that they are having a baby I think it's really going to be different. Don't get me wrong they are nice and we get along, we're just not close  and we're not really friends in the sense that we would go and hang out by ourselves.
  • edited May 2011

    I love my FSIL. I wasn't sold on her until she started dating her current boyfriend to be honest. She has matured greatly and I really enjoy being around her. She is one of my BMs and will be at my b-party Friday night. We like the same things and even though she is 3 years younger we can relate on a lot of things. :)

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  • ekutlusekutlus member
    500 Comments

    There is major family drama with my FBIL and his wife (FSIL). We get along but don't really hang out or anything. 

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  • In Response to Re: Relationships w/SIL's/FSIL's?:
    My FI has 2 sisters. One is 6 months younger than I am and one of my best friends. The other is 6 years younger and I feel like she's my sister too. We're good friends, but it's a different relationship because of the age difference. I feel like I've watched her grow up (she was 14 when we started dating and is now 22), but the other sister was in college with us and we are really close to both her and her husband. FI's SIL and I are kind of close, but not as close as we used to be. She has 2 kids and is kind of nuts about being a mom. She won't let them miss the "nap schedule" which is causing them not to come to our RD (they're FG and RB). Annoying, but whatever. Not a battle worth fighting. Hopefully you can cultivate a relationship with the FBIL's gf, but the 6 year gap could be hard to close. If you have kids soon, that would give you something in common..
    Posted by loislane906
    Hehe, nope! Her kid will probably be at least three before we have kids!
  • Oh and in terms of hanging out, she and I have gone out to brunch and dress shopping by ourselves.. but thats about it. After we get married I can see she and I hanging out more just the two of us.
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  • To say my FSIL and I don't get along is an understatement.  (Well the whole family doesn't like her but that's who FI's brother decided to marry...)

    But she's actually gotten better since having a kid.  I think it really put into perspective that it wasn't all about her anymore KWIM?  She actually volunteered to throw me a bach party and I was very surprised by this.  She never would have done that a few years ago.

    I have 1 brother and I don't forsee him getting married anytime soon so I'm trying to make the best of FSIL that I can since she's the only sister I'm going to have.
  • I have 2 brothers and neither of them are married, so I lucked out there. On FI's side I have 2 FSIL, his brothers wife  (FSIL #1) and his sister (FSIL #2).

    FSIL #1 and I are pretty close, we talk via text message pretty often and when we are around each other we get along wonderfully,. We are very different she is very conservative and FI and I are not but they never judge us. They hvae lived out of state the majority of FI and I's relationship but from October 2008 to August 2009 they lived less than a mile away and we spent at least 4 nights a week/end with them.

    FSIL #2 is a different story, I think in 8 years I have seen her 6 times, maybe 7 but I really only remember 6 times. They live in DC and she is a very materialistic person. She is really shiity about FI being a disappointment because he didn't go to college blah blah blah. I tlak with her via facebook about once every 2 months, they will be at the wedding, though I don't expect to really spend any time with them.
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  • FI has two brothers that are both in "serious" dating relationships. I am close w/ one, who has been in the picture for almost 2 years; she's a few years younger than me, but we have a lot in common & get along really well. Plus she is dating the brother that FI is closest with, so we double date a lot. They talk about marriage and I'm excited that we will eventually be SIL's! :)

    FI's older brother was married & divorced before I even came around, but now he is dating a girl who is much younger than him, and has a 2 year old from a previous relationship. They kindof don't have much to do with us anymore which is sad, but they have their separate 'family' life. They've only been dating about 4 months but they live together and aren't around as much- so I don't even feel like I know this gf yet. Time will tell what will come of it!

  • I totally forgot that my brother's gf will probably be a SIL someday. I love her too. She is absolutely perfect for my brother. They both will be coming in town (they live in California) 2 days before our wedding and I can not wait. They both are in our WP and I am so excited. :)
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  • jlq2005jlq2005 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    I am not close at all with my FSIL.
    We are the exact same age, and we are like polar opposites. 
    I never have anything to talk about when I'm around here, and it's just awkward.
    She doesn't have a job, she lives off welfare, lives with her skeevy boyfriend and his mother, she always thinks there's something medically wrong with her. She is obsessed with animals, and into anime crap, and she's really just ...strange. I don't know. I try to talk to her about stuff, and she just doesn't like the stuff I do.
    We went shopping a few weeks ago, myself, her, my FMIL, and one of Jason's aunts, and the whole day everything I picked out for her she basically told me was ugly (and I have pretty decent style), so we couldn't even bond over shopping.
    I have tried and tried to form a relationship with her, but I just don't see it happening. We're so different.
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  •   My FSIL are a lot like sisters. We get along great 90% of the time but we fight too. The one thing that makes our relationship ok is that we always make up! She planned and executed my awesome bachelorette party and for that I am really grateful to her. We hang out all the time and she is great with my daughter.
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  • I get along with FSILs as there are two. I don't hang out with them and I'm not best buddies with them. I think a lot of it has to do with living in separate states and really only seeing them around the holidays or family functions. I don't see my sis getting married anytime soon so nothing on that front.
  • G's little brother is 24 and I love him almost as much as I love G.  He's a brother to me and he's G's best man.  His girlfriend of 5 years is one of my bridesmaids and I consider her my sister in law.  (They will hopefully get engaged soon!) 

    They live in Lincoln and we live in Wisconsin, so we only see them 4-5 times a year, but we are all very close. We Skype or talk on the phone and when they are in town, we spend every waking minute with them.

    G has a cousin, Liz, who is also a bridesmaid of mine.  His cousins (There are 6 of them) are all like brothers and sisters and I'm close with all of them and their SO's.  Liz is one of my best friends and has been a cornerstone of our wedding planning.  She is also like a sister to me.


    G is close with my cousins (I have 3 I was raised in the same house with) and my brother.  My neices call him Uncle Greg. 


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  • degreadegrea member
    2500 Comments
    FI has one brother who is married. We are like long lost sisters and BF. She is in my WP and the only girl in my party who is married, The 2 brothers are very fortune we get along. She also doesn't get along with FMIL so we constantly b!tch about her.
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  • echo136echo136 member
    500 Comments
    all my fsils and fis brothers gf and I are born within 6 months so it's kinda funny. We get along but I hope we can all get closer and I trust we will. I have 4 sisters so it's weird to be gaining more (although they will never be the same as my real sisters lol)
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  • FI has a brother and three sisters, but they're all older.  His brother is 43 (my mom's age) and his sisters are 41, 38 and 32, so we don't really have a lot in common.

    I get along with my FSILs pretty well, but I've only met FBIL twice (he doesn't come around much).  I hang out more with FI's nieces.  One of them is one of my BMs.  She's eleven, but I absolutely love her.  She's my favorite person in his family (besides him, of course).
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  • I kind of have the same situation.  My brother is 18 and still lives with my parents (he has autism) and I don't see them much.  My FSIL is married though and has a daughter with her husband.  She is one of my bridesmaids and we get along fine, but I wouldn't exactly call us "friends" we really don't hang out together except when we take the kids over to FIs moms house and she is there with her daughter.
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  • I wish I was closer to my FI's family but living so far away it's really hard. His younger brother is a lot younger. His older brother and his gf seem to be in their own world and not interested in getting to know me. They're nice, they just seem very in their own world.

    My brother's gf is nice but she's a lot younger than me so we don't have a whole lot in common. She's also a one word answer kind of girl but she's starting to warm up. She doesn't live super close to my brother so she's not always there when we're around so we don't even get to see her that much.

    FI is actually pretty close with my brother and cousins though. We see them a lot more than we see his family.
  • FI has one sister that is 10 years older than I am and a brother who is 6 years older than me. They both have families and live about 2 hours away from us. I like them both and get along with them. The age gap and life gap between me and FSIL is a lot-she has kids starting middle school and FI and I are not sure when we are going to start trying, so there is not a lot of common ground. We also do not see his siblings much at all-probably less than 10 times in the time FI and I have been together (which will be right around 2 years when we get married).
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  • FIs sister is the only girl. She and I hit it off immediately. I love her as much as I love my sisters. Shes 4 years younger than me and we have many interests. She can get on my nerves sometimes but siblings dont :). I even still talk to my exSIL on facebook.
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  • I have a sister. My brothers aren't married and Eric's sister died when he was 13. I never knew her but I miss what I could have had with her.
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  • FI has two sisters and I love them both. One of them confided something to me Sunday and I promised not to tell FI because she doesn't want him to know until after the wedding and I want to tell him, but I promised her. I love his family and I'm so glad they were the ones who raised him to be the man he is today.
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  • gmc22gmc22 member
    2500 Comments
    I'm a little late but wanted to add that my FSIL and I are super close - in fact, she's my MOH :) As soon as we met over 6 years ago we instantly clicked. Neither of us had a sister and we are so much alike it just turned out wonderfully! She's about 10i years older than me + is married and has two kids so we are in totally different places in life, but we hang out all the time and have a wonderful time together!

    It may take some time but try to find commonalities! You may be surprised to find a wonderful friendship develop!

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  • My FI has a brother who has been with his fiance for over 7 years. Who will soon become my SIL, hopefully within a year. I LOVE my FSIL, she is in my WP and we are really close. We clicked almost immediately and have became closer and closer. It sucks because they live 3 hours away but we go up often to visit and help with their businesses. I'm actually closer to here than yo my own sister, it's sad but my sister and I are VERY different. I love them both tho.
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