not allowed to walk down the aisle like i want to?

elspeth1 · November 2010

So, my dad is deaf in his left ear and I want to walk on his right side. My mom said something about it to the Priest (I was not there) and he said no. I don't know why my mom didnt ask: why not? But, she didn't and I have not been able to contact him. Why would I not be able to do that?

sister2groom · November 2010

Did she tell him why you wanted it that way? I find it hard to believe the priest wouldn't accomodate a disability. I mean, let's say for argument's sake a father was in a wheelchair, would the priest not let the bride push the chair or have someone else accompany them down the aisle to push it. What if someone else used a cane on his left side? I realize it's not quite the same because it's not like your father won't be able to get down the asile, but still....

DramaGeek · November 2010

I don't understand why the priest would say that. The reason for a bride walking on her dad's left is to keep his right hand - his sword hand - free to fight off attackers. Tell your priest your dad doesn't plan to need his sword therefore his right hand doesn't need to be free. Redic.

skippylouwho · November 2010

If you start walking down the aisle on his right side do you think the priest would stop the wedding? IF not, do it. In hindsight, you probably shouldn't have even asked, just done it and if the priest complained then apologize then.

MairePoppy · November 2010

Something doesn't seem right here. I don't believe the priest would care whether your dad walked on your right or left side. What difference does it make?
If your wedding is on 11/18/11, it seems kind of early to be planning these kind of details. Just let the priest know about your preference at your ceremony rehearsal.

MissOwl · November 2010

Ask again. this does seem really weird. perhaps your mom didn't explain it properly? or just do what you want and don't worry about it.

kellya01 · November 2010

As far as I know, it is customary for the bride to walk on the left side of dad, because when you reach the altar, it is bride on far left, then bride's dad, then groom. The minister asks the father to give you away, and then he takes the bride and grooms hands and joins them together.

Something you might consider, given your special circumstances, is walking the correct way down the isle, then switching at the altar, but you wouldn't stand directly beside the groom - leave space. When priest asks dad to give the bride away, he can step in front of the priest, face the congregation / guests, and join the hands while facing the guests. Could be a fantastic photo opportunity. Maybe since the priest said no to the isle request, he might compromise on this other bit?

Also, make sure that YOU talk with the priest about it and explain your father's deafness. It's important for YOU to do this so that the priest has a connection with you. It shows you coming into an independent womanhood too... :-)

virgincita · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_not-allowed-walk-down-aisle-like-want?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:d67dc12f-9cc9-4d2c-a8cf-4faa4fb6c9fdPost:b360b8e8-4761-4ead-8a99-c9897e40571b">Re: not allowed to walk down the aisle like i want to?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you start walking down the aisle on his right side do you think the priest would stop the wedding? IF not, do it. In hindsight, you probably shouldn't have even asked, just done it and if the priest complained then apologize then.
Posted by skippylouwho[/QUOTE]

ahhh...the old "sin now, confess later." <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

I'm sure you explain (maybe write him a letter) he will understand. Who wouldn't?

GeauxTigers17 · November 2010

This is super bizarre to me because in my church (Episcopalian) and at every wedding I've been to, the bride walked on her father's right side. While yes, it usually normal to take the man's left, that's not the case at weddings. It's the groom who needed his "sword arm" free to fend off other suitors- so he stood on the right side.

I've always been told that brides take dad's right arm because the bride's side of the church is on the left. Dad doesn't have to navigate the bride's train to join mom in the pew after the walk down the aisle if she stands to his right. It avoids the awkwardness of that maneuver if he can just step into his pew without a problem. Maybe you could work that angle? Also, this is in Amy Vanderbilt if your priest is swayed by such things....I don't understand why he'd care either way though.

Maybe my experience is regional? Who knows, but it might be worth a try if it's important to you.

kathrynhabibti · November 2010

I walked on my dad's right side too, GT, for that very same reason.

Calypso1977 · December 2010

my SIL walked on her father's right as he walks wtih a cane. it was no issue.

Lisa50 · December 2010

It might be better, all around, for you to have a conversation with the priest. If you don't get the answer you want (which is highly unlikely), at least you will be able to ask all the follow up questions you need to get clarity.

Best of luck!

not allowed to walk down the aisle like i want to?

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