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I am BridesMaid and a Bride and need advice.

sweetcarolinagirlsweetcarolinagirl member
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in Moms and Maids
I am in my BF wedding right before mine. Her wedding is out of state and she has us getting an expensive dress. I have already spent $450 to be in her wedding. She asked me to get my hair done, I asked her if it was possible for her to pay half because I have really maxed out of my budget. I know this sounds horrible but I really honestly cannot do it. Am I wrong, should I just do more?


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Re: I am BridesMaid and a Bride and need advice.

  • meamollymeamolly member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well no. If she is not helping any other party member it really would not be equal if she did. are the other girls spending just as much? are you able to do your own hair? if at all possible, do your own hair and let her know that due to your restricted budget, you  will not be having a pro do it. it is your hair, if she demands you go to a pro then she should have to pay for it all.
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  • JennaV26JennaV26
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If she is requiring you guys to get your hair professionally done she needs to pay for it. I told all my girls that I was getting my hair done and if they want to get their's done it's going to cost X amount. Most girls chose to but a couple didn't and thtat's perfectly fine!

    Just explain to her that you can't afford it and if she insists then she has to pay. And if she is adament about not paying.... you might just have to suck it up and do it but ask the stylist to do the cheapest style possible!
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  • saisongbirdsaisongbird
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_am-bridesmaid-bride-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d1decee4-9142-46a7-92da-64541c865b29Post:74109ae5-1d6b-4681-b54e-a6f363886981">Re: I am BridesMaid and a Bride and need advice.</a>:
    [QUOTE]. And if se is adament about not paying.... you might just have to suck it up and do it but ask the stylist to do the cheapest style possible!
    Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]

    <div>No, if she is adamant about not paying, then you need to be firm about not getting it done professionally if you don't want to or can't afford to.  We are brides, not bullies.  Don't let her be one.</div>
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I give you credit for being honest with your friend. Some of the other BMs must be feeling the same way. If the bride is requiring that the BMs get their hair done, then she should pay for it. Just tell her you can't afford it and will be doing your own hair.
                       
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_am-bridesmaid-bride-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d1decee4-9142-46a7-92da-64541c865b29Post:08639ea9-eb9b-4d7f-8e3f-808cba5e3f32">I am BridesMaid and a Bride and need advice.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am in my BF wedding right before mine. Her wedding is out of state and she has us getting an expensive dress. I have already spent $450 to be in her wedding. She asked me to get my hair done, I asked her if it was possible for her to pay half because I have really maxed out of my budget. I know this sounds horrible but I really honestly cannot do it. Am I wrong, should I just do more?
    Posted by sweetcarolinagirl[/QUOTE]

    Extras like hair and make-up are not things anyone can require you to pay for. If you can't afford it or simply don't want to pay for it, then you don't have to. if she really wants you to have those things done for her wedding, then she can pay for them herself.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If she is requiring you to get your hair done professionally, she needs to pay. As the bride to be, I cannot afford to pay for my girls' hair, and really wish I could. My hairdresser offered to do theirs at a reduced cost if we get multiple girls' hair done there. You could check into something like that if you are in town in enough time before the wedding. Or, you need to tell her that you are on a budget and can't afford to get your hair done professionally. I told my girls that as long as it looked nice, I didn't care how they wore it. It may just take a nice reminding that her wedding is costing you a lot, too, and then hopefully she will realize it and work something out with you. Sometimes is all it takes is a reminder unless she is a real bridezilla.
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  • NatandIsaacNatandIsaac
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Agree with PP. You are not required to pay to have your hair done.
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