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No Kids @ Wedding

beatriz9364beatriz9364
in Wedding Reception Forum
I have been to weddings where the kids are running around screaming and making a whole lot of noise and its so annoying. I don't want any kids at my wedding except the ones that are going to participate in the ceremony.
Which is the best way of letting my guest know this? I don't want them to feel like I am restricting them in any way, just my desire to not have kids at the wedding. Anyways weddings are not for kids, they do not understand what a wedding is. Birthdays are for kids.
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Re: No Kids @ Wedding

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    You simply address the invitations to the people who are invited.  But be prepared for people to add their children to the reply. 

    If that happens, you have to call the people and say. "Marge, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, but Bart, and Lisa, and Maggie aren't invited to the wedding.  We're looking forward to celebrating with you and Homer.  What's that?  You won't come without the kids?  I'm sorry to hear that.  You'll be missed."

    You can also do what my DD did.  She filled in the response cards before mailing her invitations:

    Homer Simpson      ___will      _____ will not    attend.
    Marge Simpson     ____will      _____will not attend

    It's a little more work, but it makes it abundantly clear who is invited.

    Finally, you can also spread the word via word of mouth if that will help.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • SaraAndrew2010SaraAndrew2010 member
    First Comment
    Address the invitation envelopes only to those invited.  So Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, not The Smith Family or Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family.  If anyone RSVPs with their kids, just call them up and say, "I'm sorry for any confusion, but the invitation was intended for you and John, not little Johnnyt.  We hope you will still be able to attend."

    You cannot put "Adults Only Reception" or anything about no kids on the invitations.  That would be rude and tacky.
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    Ditto Trix.  That's pretty much how I did it and I had no problems.
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  • alyssalowealyssalowe member
    First Comment
    When we first started the whole process in planning we created a facebook event to obtain everyones addresses. Both our families are very close and large and understanding of the brides and grooms wishes. We simply stated from the beginning on the facebook event page that we wanted to celebrate with everyone but the fact that both our families had been remarried and now very large that we were going to have an adult only reception but that children were more then welcome at the ceremony if its easier on the parents, for sitters or if the children wanted to come. DO NOT call me tacky or judge me because that is acceptable in our family. It all depends on your familys closeness and their acceptance to something of this nature. After talking to my aunts and uncles and guests not a single one of them thought it was rude or uncalled for. They all expressed that they liked the idea of no one under 21 because they can party and not worry about having getting children home while sober and it is more of a date night for them without children.  
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  • alyssalowealyssalowe member
    First Comment
    Sorry I said that cuz I had posted that as my wishes earlier when I first started planning and all the snarky brides came out of the woodwork to make me feel like crap about MY decision.
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  • JeFlaniganJeFlanigan
    First Comment
    My take on ALL of this (snarky brides, offended family, and everyone in between) is bug off, it's my wedding.  I'll have two children at my wedding... MINE.  The next youngest will be my Fi's sister (19). 

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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_kids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:eb3e3843-7bae-4457-bf9e-22bb1a568e66Post:6e3d7438-135d-41d7-add8-e08572f4460f">Re: No Kids @ Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]My take on ALL of this (snarky brides, offended family, and everyone in between) is bug off, it's my wedding.  I'll have two children at my wedding... MINE.  The next youngest will be my Fi's sister (19). 
    Posted by JeFlanigan[/QUOTE]

    Sure - but when you involve others, you need to be prepared for how you treat them.  If you're offensive, be prepared for your guests to be offended.
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  • JeFlaniganJeFlanigan
    First Comment
    It's funny to see how different things are construed.  I don't see it as offensive.  More like static, 'this is how it is, deal or don't.'  I won't be forward on anything until I  have to be, but keeping everyone happy is one way to chance yourself being unhappy.   
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  • daisygomez23daisygomez23 member
    First Comment
    edited May 2010
    Maybe putting something like

    Anyone (enter age here) and up are welcome to attend.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_kids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:eb3e3843-7bae-4457-bf9e-22bb1a568e66Post:c09b0ae9-5033-484e-8efb-fe3409b9d473">Re: No Kids @ Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe putting something like Anyone (enter age here) and up are welcome to attend.
    Posted by daisygomez23[/QUOTE]

    That is just really awkward and could lend itself to all sorts of uninvited people showing up.  Just put the people being invited on the invitation.  Handle the people who don't get it and add their kids when the responses come in.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • echugginsechuggins member
    First Comment
    This is an adult only reception!!! Speaks volumes!!!
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_kids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:eb3e3843-7bae-4457-bf9e-22bb1a568e66Post:5641ec93-d8b2-4432-ab48-1d38cf3ee3b3">Re: No Kids @ Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is an adult only reception!!! Speaks volumes!!!
    Posted by echuggins[/QUOTE]

    It sure does.  It states that the bride and groom don't trust the intelligence of their guests.

    And if the OP states this, it means that they're liars.
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  • ChelseaMarie44ChelseaMarie44 member
    First Comment
    It helps that our venue is smaller, and we're trying to keep everything really inexpensive, but we have our RSVP set up on our website. We are not including plus ones for everyone either, so we put a simple statement on the RSVP page saying how we apologize for not being able to include plus ones and children because of our intimate and limited space and hope that all can still join us in our special day.
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  • saraho328saraho328 member
    First Comment

    I see nothing wrong with stating it is an "adults only" reception. Of course the children involved in the ceremony are going to be there, why wouldn't they be? They're in the ceremony! It doesn't make you a "liar' because unless you are planning on having 10 kids involved in the ceremony, most people will remember them walking down the aisle. They will know and understand that it's not some random persons kid and get mad they weren't allowed to bring theirs.


    On a side note, this is my first time visiting this board, and I am very surprised by all the cattiness and rude remarks that I have seen on a number of posts.

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  • denise86denise86 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_kids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:eb3e3843-7bae-4457-bf9e-22bb1a568e66Post:c8076f6a-b280-4e0c-966a-f3e50cf61c53">Re: No Kids @ Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]It helps that our venue is smaller, and we're trying to keep everything really inexpensive, but we have our RSVP set up on our website. We are not including plus ones for everyone either, so we put a simple statement on the RSVP page saying how we apologize for not being able to include plus ones and children because of our intimate and limited space and hope that all can still join us in our special day.
    Posted by ChelseaMarie44[/QUOTE]

    awesome idea. i think i might use it! thanks
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    [QUOTE]I see nothing wrong with stating it is an "adults only" reception. Of course the children involved in the ceremony are going to be there, why wouldn't they be? They're in the ceremony! It doesn't make you a "liar' because unless you are planning on having 10 kids involved in the ceremony, most people will remember them walking down the aisle. They will know and understand that it's not some random persons kid and get mad they weren't allowed to bring theirs.[/QUOTE]

    1) It IS wrong because stating who you aren't inviting is rude.  It's never appropriate to indicate who ISN'T welcome at the reception.  One only states who IS invited.

    2) It ISN'T an adult reception.  Yes, if people are rude and respond for their children, the hosts can say, "Oh we do regret the miscommunication but the invitation was just for the two of you and not your children.  Oh, the only children there will be those in the WP and no others."  

    3)So yes, it IS a lie if they say adult reception when it isn't.   That there are children there means that it isn't adults only.  The OP can't speak in terms of absolutes while bending the rule of that absolute.  It doesn't work and you have to expect people to think the OP is lying as a result...because she would be.

    I agree that people need to understand that some children are invited and not others.  But stating who is excluded has not nor will be appropriate.
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  • Britt1406Britt1406 member
    First Comment
    Oh- just another thing that I've seen. I know a girl that had a "kids reception" where everyone under 18 were brought to another location (someone volunteered their house and to watch them) and hung out there. I thought it was sorta strange, but I guess it's effective.
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