Full Catholic ceremony with mass OR Catholic liturgy

lindzi375 · November 2010

I am curious as to who is having a full mass at their wedding and who is only doing the liturgy? Also, may I ask why you chose that ceremony?

mica178 · November 2010

We did the ceremony outside of Mass. My H is not Catholic, and about 75% of our guests were not Catholic. H's uncle, who presided over the vows, said that he thought it would be more unifying for the families to keep things simple and avoid the full Mass when only one of the two being married was eligible for communion and when so many guests would also be ineligible.

Calypso1977 · November 2010

we had the nuptial mass. for us, it was a no brainer. we're both Catholic, and wanted the extra blessings that the nuptial mass provides.

ootmother2 · November 2010

Nuptial Mass.

Both of the Catholic faith and it's a sacrament

[Deleted User] · November 2010

We had a Nuptial Mass. Both H and I are Catholic, so it just was natural and made sense for us to have full mass. Not to mention both of us receiving another sacrament.

If your FH is not Catholic or has not converted by the time of your wedding, it is generally not recommended that you have a full mass as he cannot partake in the Eucharist with you. This is something I would definitely discuss with your priest.

SaraAndrew2010 · November 2010

We're planning a nuptial mass. FI and I are both Catholic and most of our families are Catholic, so it seemed like the natural thing to do.

lindzi375 · November 2010

Well, FI and I assumed we would have a full mass because we are both Catholic and most of both our family's are too. However, when we were reviewing our FOCCUS test scores with our Deacon, he recommended us having only a liturgy. We had low percentages in the Religion category. We have not been practicing for a few years but have recently started attending church regularly again and want to raise our children Catholic when the time comes. So now, I'm guessing we will follow his wish and do only a liturgy...?

SaraAndrew2010 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-catholic-ceremony-mass-catholic-liturgy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:4a4067df-0a20-4409-90c3-39b76d3b89efPost:da1504d7-c50d-4749-ac27-69e3b14b816d">Re: Full Catholic ceremony with mass OR Catholic liturgy</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, FI and I assumed we would have a full mass because we are both Catholic and most of both our family's are too. However, when we were reviewing our FOCCUS test scores with our Deacon, he recommended us having only a liturgy. We had low percentages in the Religion category. We have not been practicing for a few years but have recently started attending church regularly again and want to raise our children Catholic when the time comes. So now, I'm guessing we will follow his wish and do only a liturgy...?
Posted by lindzi375[/QUOTE]

Ultimately, you need to decide whether or not it is important to you and your FI to have a mass. Since you are both Catholic, I think you should have a mass if you want to have a full mass. Don't feel like you have to go along with the deacon's suggestion of only doing the liturgy. It's your right as Catholics to receive the sacrament and only you can decide if a mass or liturgy is right for you.

akg0053 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-catholic-ceremony-mass-catholic-liturgy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:4a4067df-0a20-4409-90c3-39b76d3b89efPost:31cde211-e6a2-4f7b-8220-bf292c4bb410">Re: Full Catholic ceremony with mass OR Catholic liturgy</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Full Catholic ceremony with mass OR Catholic liturgy : Ultimately, you need to decide whether or not it is important to you and your FI to have a mass. Since you are both Catholic, I think you should have a mass if you want to have a full mass. Don't feel like you have to go along with the deacon's suggestion of only doing the liturgy. It's your right as Catholics to receive the sacrament and only you can decide if a mass or liturgy is right for you.
Posted by SaraAndrew2010[/QUOTE]

<div>I completely agree with this. </div><div>
</div><div>Anyway OP, we are doing a nuptial mass. FI and I are both Catholic, so it was important to us to do a full mass. </div>

Calypso1977 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-catholic-ceremony-mass-catholic-liturgy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:4a4067df-0a20-4409-90c3-39b76d3b89efPost:da1504d7-c50d-4749-ac27-69e3b14b816d">Re: Full Catholic ceremony with mass OR Catholic liturgy</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, FI and I assumed we would have a full mass because we are both Catholic and most of both our family's are too. However, when we were reviewing our FOCCUS test scores with our Deacon, he recommended us having only a liturgy. We had low percentages in the Religion category. We have not been practicing for a few years but have recently started attending church regularly again and want to raise our children Catholic when the time comes. So now, I'm guessing we will follow his wish and do only a liturgy...?
Posted by lindzi375[/QUOTE]

i'm honestly shocked that this is what a deacon would recommend. if you have been struggling in your faith and want to come back, a mass would be good for you. receiving communion (another sacrament) will only help to guide you and give you extra graces.

teh FOCCUS test is complete nonsense. even my priest told us that (and didnt make us take it). if you guys want a mass, as two catholics you have the right to have mass at your wedding. if this church wotn do it, id find another one.

jesslovespete · November 2010

We are planning a nuptial Mass as well since we both come from Catholic families and we want to receive the Sacrament.

mica178 · November 2010

It's still a Sacrament if there isn't a full Mass. (Eta: Assuming that at least one participant is Catholic and the other is a baptized Christian.)

bibliophile2010 · November 2010

We're having a nuptial mass. Both of us are Catholic (and extremely active in our faith), so we never considered anything else.

I think that if you are both Catholic and are looking to become more active in your religious life and want to raise your children in the faith, having the nuptial mass is the way to go, regardless of what a deacon tells you.

If one of you is not Catholic, I agree that having a ceremony without mass is the better choice, for reasons explained by PPs.

rjtutter · November 2010

We have not completely decided, but we are likely only doing the liturgy. I am Catholic and FI is currently going through the RCIA program, but the majority of the wedding guests are not Catholic, and of those who are Catholic only a handful are practicing. Although FI would be able to participate in Communion, his family would not, and we'd really like the wedding to bring the families closer, not make his family feel uncomfortable.

mswood1977 · November 2010

We had a nuptial Mass. My husband and I are both Catholic and it was important to us that we receive communion together on our wedding day. I am a convert and no one in my family is Catholic. I did explain to them that they would not be able to receive communion at the wedding and everyone was fine with it. I do not come from a religious family though so they didn't have any competing beliefs.

BrideBling82 · November 2010

FI and I are having a Nuptial Mass b/c we want to and at the wishes of our parents. We come from a long line of Catholics, my FI's father is a deacon so he's performing the ceremony and the priest is celebrating the mass. About 95% of the guest are Catholic...the other 5% is looking forward to seeing a traditional Catholic Wedding. So either way it's win/win situation. Pick whatever is better for you...My cousin got married and she opted for just the liturgy but they attended mass Sunday morning.

LouWho19 · November 2010

We are both Catholic but decided to go with the liturgy because most of our guests aren't Catholic and wouldn't be able to participate communion.

GulfCoaster · November 2010

We had a nuptial Mass, and never considered anything else. We are both Catholic, and it was important to us to share in the Eucharist together on our wedding day.

The majority of our guests weren't Catholic, but they all were respectful of our religious beliefs and many of them even told us they were really impressed by the Mass.

newlyseliski · November 2010

Nuptial Mass! Same reasons as listed above by PPs

lindsaynewbride10 · November 2010

I cannot IMAGINE a priest or deacon recommending a liturgy-only marriage to two Catholics. As Catholics, Eucharist is EXTREMELY important- I can't imagine not wanting it incorporated into your marriage ceremony. Good luck!

Riss91 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-catholic-ceremony-mass-catholic-liturgy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:4a4067df-0a20-4409-90c3-39b76d3b89efPost:82173cf7-b9ed-43a5-9360-96b9473ea563">Re: Full Catholic ceremony with mass OR Catholic liturgy</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a nuptial Mass, and never considered anything else. We are both Catholic, and it was important to us to share in the Eucharist together on our wedding day. The majority of our guests weren't Catholic, but they all were respectful of our religious beliefs and many of them even told us they were really impressed by the Mass.
Posted by GulfCoaster[/QUOTE]

Pretty much this exactly! We even had ours in Latin and many of our friends and family still compliment us on how beautiful and meaningful the ceremony was.

clearheavens · December 2010

I echo Calypso's and Lindsay's reaction in that I'm very appalled at your deacon's suggestion. I also took the FOCCUS test but my deacon and sponsor couple actually didn't review it. It was just a formality so we ourselves could read the questions and realize whether we have more to talk about to each other or not.

Every Catholic wedding has at least one sacrament: the Sacrament of Marriage. A Nuptial Mass has two sacraments: Sacrament of Marriage and Sacrament of Eucharist.

The Eucharist is the source and summit of our faith. It will truly give you graces. And I'm very happy to hear that you and your FI want to seriously raise your children Catholic, that's a very unifying and committing role. If both of you are Catholic, please consider having a Nuptial Mass.

kindspiel14 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_full-catholic-ceremony-mass-catholic-liturgy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:4a4067df-0a20-4409-90c3-39b76d3b89efPost:c2c91cdc-7a33-4817-a5af-86444397e5b4">Re: Full Catholic ceremony with mass OR Catholic liturgy</a>:
[QUOTE]It's still a Sacrament if there isn't a full Mass. (Eta: Assuming that at least one participant is Catholic and the other is a baptized Christian.)
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]
Yes! I'm Catholic and FI was baptized Lutheran, and we're having just the liturgy because of that. But it is most definitely still a sacrament!
Clarification: It's hard for me to imagine getting married and NOT receiving the Eucharist as part of such a sacrament. But since FI isn't Catholic and won't be able to receive communion, and most of the guests are not (really, only my immediate family are Catholic) we agreed it was the best idea to just have the liturgy. We haven't looked at details yet, but I'm hoping that at least my family will be able to attend mass the morning of (we're having an afternoon ceremony) so that it's still a part of it, even if not the ceremony itself.

IrishBrideND · December 2010

Mass.

We are both Catholic.

Many of our guests were not Catholic, but that didn't play a role in that decision. I've been to a ton of weddings in other faiths and I've never expected them to not do their religious rites.

Blueyed228 · December 2010

We did not have communion since I am Greek Orthodox. I am eligible to receive communion in the Catholic church but did not want to.

It was still a beautiful ceremony.

BridetobeJenG · December 2010

We're having a full mass. It never crossed our mind have our wedding be anything other than that. We're both catholic and about 95% of the people there will be catholic.

2Bwed2011 · December 2010

We are also having the full mass because it is something that is very important to us. It also allows us to involve more family members as we are not really having a wedding party.

MissKitty0220 · January 2011

We're not doing the full mass. We're both Catholic but most of our guests are not. We didn't want anyone to be uncomfortable. If it's a big deal to the two of you to have Communion, then I'd say go for the full mass.

Full Catholic ceremony with mass OR Catholic liturgy

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